Hogwarts Legacy (pt. 1) - Bad at Video Games 2023-02-07

0:00:08
Unknown_16: oh

Unknown_04: um wow i didn't know the game would be this fun i think we passed the 41 percent mark so now we're around the we're almost to 50 percent or which would be 36 percent Um, I should clarify that this started unpacking as soon as available and I have a NVMe M2 drive, literally the fastest possible consumer hardware to be unpacking this.

0:00:57
Unknown_04: Um, and it's slow as fuck. I think that's because that, um, steam itself is a 32 bit application and it's limited to one thread. So it's like extremely bottlenecked.

Unknown_19: Let's unpack this.

Unknown_04: Let's unpack this. Let's unpack the Harry Potter game.

Unknown_04: It's a transition in the game into a playable format, one could say. Unsuccessfully, one could say. Maybe that's a part of the avant-garde commentary being played out here.

0:01:35
Unknown_19: Let's do this.

Unknown_19: Let's do this.

Unknown_19: Yep.

Unknown_19: OK.

Unknown_19: And then I have the rest of the format here to do stuff with.

Unknown_19: Let's open up Firefox. I'm going to hide that for now in case.

0:02:09
Unknown_19: Um, I guess we'll just play Scribbleo until the fucking thing's done.

Unknown_04: Cause it's definitely not like my computer is using too much, um, too much stuff.

Unknown_04: Yeah. So Scribbleo. Okay. I apologize. I will say, um, I'll change the title. Still unpacking.

Unknown_04: I'll save that, and I will change that to let people know if I'm actually done. We'll do one thing of Scribbleo, hopefully. I mean, I don't even know. It might take another 30 minutes, which sucks, because I was going to play for three hours.

0:02:47
Unknown_04: I set aside that time, and...

Unknown_04: If it doesn't unpack quickly, then I just will play for less than three hours, which I don't want to do. The modern computer game experience is a fucking nightmare. Well, let me sign into...

Unknown_04: Donation alerts. I'll check out the super chats because I already saw some. I'll just read those out right now. While we're just killing time waiting for this exciting. It's gonna be the best fucking game ever.

0:03:21
Unknown_19: Donation.

Unknown_04: Where the fuck is it?

Unknown_19: A recent. There we go. Okay.

Unknown_19: Since last Friday.

Unknown_04: Okay.

Unknown_04: Okay. Ocean Redux for 10 says, Josh, look, you're just playing a game, so I'll keep it short, but God bless you. God bless the Kiwifrons, and thank you and all the people in the Kiwi for sticking up for women's rights. God bless you all, Kiwi forever. As far as the forum goes, I'll just say this because I'm killing some time. Right now we effectively only have one tier one internet service provider and I'm looking to get one that's new. I've reached out to somebody and they're, they're pretty optimistic that they can keep the site up even with all the heat. So, um, I'm, I'm there in Idaho and it won't be a mystery who it is, but when the trunes find out, they started announcing my APs, but that's in the works.

0:04:32
Unknown_04: The other thing worth mentioning is that, uh,

Unknown_19: Ooh.

Unknown_19: I don't think I should say that.

Unknown_04: Yeah, I don't think I should say that.

Unknown_04: Though, since I'm adding another front end, I'm... Okay, I'll just explain... No, not that. That's fine. What I've said so far, I can actually say. I'll just talk a little bit about programming, I guess. I guess that interests literally nobody, but... I was looking at...

0:05:05
Unknown_04: There's an issue with the site, right? Where when you hit the Sneed Flare page, the Kiwi Flare page, you get a challenge. If you happen to jump between front ends, because what I'm assuming is happening is that mobile users get routed between multiple front ends. It doesn't have the ability to keep track of sessions between front ends and I didn't think that this would be such a problem but apparently it is for a lot of people that they're like especially for mobile phones they get routed between two different nodes fairly often.

0:05:38
Unknown_04: So I need a way to share sessions between front ends as quickly as possible.

Unknown_04: And I'm looking at something extremely autistic called Scylla, which is a fork of Cassandra. And it's like a no SQL database with master to master replication. And it's like the most hipster shit I've ever heard of. And it's driving me insane trying to figure out how to get this to work with what I've already got. So I've spent all of today trying to figure out how to work with this hipster software and it's not going too well. I've had to ask for help from the maintainers because I'm genuinely at a loss of how to get all this shit to work together.

0:06:22
Unknown_04: Almost 41. That's right. Oh, here it comes. Here it comes. Oh, my God. I'm so excited.

Unknown_04: It drives me crazy watching this because it will go up to 200 megabytes per second in terms of like disk work. And then it will drop back down to zero for seconds and just keeps doing that. I know for a fact I'm not using disk. It's not Linux. This is Windows, bro. I haven't used Linux in a while. Everything that all the development that I do is on a container. I'm just using Docker now because I hate dual booting.

0:06:56
Unknown_19: I hate having a reboot constantly.

Unknown_19: Here it comes inching along up, up.

Unknown_04: Yay. 41. It blows past 41%. It hits 41 and then immediately jumped 17 more, uh, 170 more megabytes.

Unknown_04: Just crazy. Just crazy. It didn't just hit 41%. It bounded past 41%. It's just climbing higher and higher all the time. I couldn't be more proud of it.

0:07:30
Unknown_19: It's not personal, whatever. You know what I mean. You know what I mean, retard. Motherfucker.

Unknown_19: Ungazellig. I don't know what that is. Is that a Entazit song?

Unknown_19: It's more than halfway there. Oh, I had more to say.

Unknown_04: Let's see. Spectrum Sempra is a gender transition spell. Josh, they added a tranny to the game. And you can't even kill it. 0 out of 10. From what I understand, the rumor that there's a trans character in this game comes from one publication that found one character... that looks like a woman, but very ugly and mannish. And he just makes the inference, because this character is ugly and mannish, that it's a transgender character. But it has no voiceover, and there's no known actor associated with it. So it's literally just like, this guy wanted to get clicks on his fucking blog, and now everyone believes it. So it could be true, it could not be true. I'm going to lean that it's just an ugly character.

0:08:40
Unknown_03: Snape is trans.

Unknown_04: Source, James Stephanie Sterling. No, not even. It's somebody else. But speaking of Jim.

Unknown_04: what's uh laura k dale the i have a vagina guy um he the name of that character that's trans is sir uh serona s-i-r-o-n-a and laura k dale chimps out on twitter goes of course the trans character's name is sir something it's like it literally you literally can't make these people happy um

0:09:22
Unknown_04: The most beautiful woman in the UK. That's right. That's right.

Unknown_04: No 800. Let's start the low tax stream. Okay. Well, low tax was a guy that ran a website and then he killed himself because he failed. Uh, that's about it.

Unknown_04: The social blade. Let's see where my boy Jim Sterling's at right now. I'm getting pretty excited. I can't wait. Maybe if he makes a couple more videos, bitching about Harry Potter in, in a short order, we might be lucky and see it come faster than usual.

Unknown_04: negative 4k in the last 30 days brilliant my boy brilliant keep it up he is at 100 or 801 right now he could do it damn he lost a lot he lost fourth the four thousand in january is the lowest he's lost since um in a while

0:10:21
Unknown_19: Yeah, boy.

Unknown_19: Check it, check it, check it, check it.

Unknown_04: Audio is super loud. Okay, let's try to change that.

Unknown_04: I'm debating if that is my compressor or if that is my microphone.

Unknown_04: Let me try reducing my compressor down to just zero. I'm kind of unhappy about my compressor. How about this? Is this better?

Unknown_04: Because I sound really quiet in my archives, and I don't know why. I'm trying to change my compressor just a little bit so that I'm louder than I usually am.

0:10:58
Unknown_19: Okay. You were fine. It's fine. Better? Okay. Yeah.

Unknown_19: yeah jim sterling's like he doesn't get any views let's see his um i mean he gets like a million a month that's pretty fucking good what's interesting is that the like the the spectrum of how much you get paid on youtube per view like the cpm varies wildly on what china channel you have like at its lowest your channel can get like

0:11:34
Unknown_04: What is it? Okay. This is social blade. They say that the average CPM for a YouTuber can vary between 25 cents per CPM or $4. So that's like, that's like a ratio of like one to eight. I don't even know how you would express that mathematically, but that's a huge range.

Unknown_04: Like, and I think it really depends. Like if you run like a family vlog,

Unknown_04: And you like, it's just you and you're like cooking and you have like your kids and you're just like the most family friendly content imaginable. I think you're probably close to that $4.

0:12:09
Unknown_04: Um, whereas if you're someone who's like a gross troon and you rant about capitalism, you probably get closer to the 0.25. So it's funny to think that if he makes like a hundred, 800,000 views on his videos, he probably makes as much as a woman who gets like a hundred thousand dollars doing like a cooking blog or something. You know what I mean?

Unknown_04: Video length is a pretty big factor. And that's in terms of like your SEO. I don't know if that impacts your CPM.

0:12:46
Unknown_19: Okay, I'm gonna read the other messages that I got.

Unknown_04: Anonymous for five says, what is the name of the bloat spyware free version of Windows you mentioned a few times? That is the Windows long-term support channel. The long-term...

Unknown_04: ltsc you will find entire subreddits dedicated to this by the way they're not selling the windows 10 license anymore um for whatever reason they've officially discontinued it because nobody is upgrading to windows 11 even though it's like free to do so so you might have to download like a bootleg version of the uh windows ltsc

0:13:24
Unknown_04: Is that for end of life? What's funny is that the long-term support channel has a 10-year end of life as opposed to a five-year, I'm pretty sure. So even though the end of life for Windows 10 is now like officially 2025, the LTSC is for enterprise. So if you get LTSC, you'll get updates up to like 2030. And then hopefully Windows 11 will have collapsed and Microsoft will have been torn apart and everybody involved will be beheaded by the state for crimes against humanity before 2030. Okay.

Unknown_04: If we're lucky. Yeah, I'm not going to get Windows 11. They're not going to force me. I'll go back to fucking Manjaro before I go to Windows 11. You literally cannot force me to.

0:13:56
Unknown_04: Is it true that the US military uses XP? I don't know if that's true. I do know that when I worked payroll in Australia, I worked payroll in Australia until like 2014, I want to say. And even in 2014, I was the guy responsible in part for, but I mean, in part, part of my job was this, but I was the person primarily responsible for doing this. um the the australian government in 2014 still used ie6 on all their computers and i think this is kind of hard for people to fathom now because we're spoiled by the fact that google chrome owns a monopoly on like rendering and every browser is just windows chrome now or google chrome now um but when ie6 was released um in microsoft 98 so 1998 microsoft released internet explorer version 6 and the australian government was still forcing contractors to enable support for ie6 in 2014 and back in that time browsers behaved very um unpredictably because the rendering stuff wasn't like a set in stone spec sheet browsers did things very differently and ie6 in particular was a very hard browser to accommodate for and i have carved into my fucking brain all the little quirks they call them of ie6 and i was i was the best i i knew i knew how to how to make ie6 do shit that it wasn't meant to do

0:15:43
Unknown_04: Funny enough, when I left my job, I was still on their emailing list, and I remember getting an email like the week after I left my job that they were discontinuing IE6 because they just couldn't do it without me. There was no point. They just forced the government to stop using IE6.

Unknown_19: Let's see.

Unknown_04: Liz's consent accident for pipe says start a lobby on Jstress and do Tetris versus chat.

Unknown_04: That sounds fun. I might go to the bathroom. I still got 20% left or 20 gigabytes left.

Unknown_19: Oh, geez. This is going to be awful.

0:16:33
Unknown_19: Mode standard.

Unknown_19: Private.

Unknown_19: Create.

Unknown_19: okay i got this set up i guess what so what do i do okay okay i will do this let me finish these super chats and we'll do this uh neighbor stomper 14 says hey josh if you like the what a mote should check out own gazelle like pronounced on chess it's a dutch web animation quite funny oh

0:17:11
Unknown_16: It's like that Nya Nya, like that old school anime parody thing.

Unknown_04: I don't know. If I want to torture myself for eight minutes, maybe I will. Thank you.

Unknown_04: Stinky Thank You for Five says, The game could come with a suit one patch that the trans community can use to identify people who have played the game. Maybe something magical like a star. Stars are pretty fucking magical. If I was going to sue things onto somebody to identify them as a wizard, I would definitely go for a star myself. Maybe a bright yellow one. and now as we enter the final five gigabytes of the fucking game it's now unpacking at 400 megabytes per second which is the fastest i've seen it and it's just blazing now okay i see how it wants to be um and kolya dante for five says i broke the registry entry responsible for updating windows 11 so they can't make me unless they roll out a new one well good for you um i think they have to ask you permission before they do that though

0:18:04
Unknown_04: RoboFest number two says, Josh Moon put his fucking name in the Goblet of Fire. Ralph said calmly.

Unknown_04: Pretty good. Okay, I'm going to go to the bathroom, and then hopefully the game will be ready to go by the time I come back.

0:19:37
Unknown_04: okay where was i chat that's right we were having a magical wizarding time as the game winds down to the final unpack oh now it's verifying chat it's verifying how exciting i was getting ready to play the game and now we're not playing the game okay i've already pressed record on my screen so i will i will change the title i think i i swear to god i think it's going to be

Unknown_04: I think we're going to be ready here. Red dot emoji.

Unknown_04: Red dot. So just in case you're watching the version of this, I'm going to edit out the first bit one.

Unknown_04: We have been waiting.

Unknown_04: 20 minutes for the game to be unpacking, and I was waiting another 32 minutes before then, so it's been almost an hour.

Unknown_04: Steam downloads these games in like a proprietary cryptographically secure format, and then it takes fucking forever. I'm pretty sure if I just didn't pre-download the game and just download the game after it was released...

0:20:36
Unknown_04: Without having to decrypt it, I would already be playing right now. But because I wanted to be super prepared, I downloaded the game in advance. And now I'm just going to have to eat shit because I'm a fucking retard.

Unknown_19: The flute scared you good, pussy.

Unknown_04: Harriet Josh Moon Potter. I think you mean Jom Potter. Jom Potter. I haven't talked about that yet because I did not talk about Ralph except in historical context last stream.

0:21:15
Unknown_04: Mean mood?

Unknown_19: I'm not in a mean mood. I'm a cool cucumber. I'm an operator right now.

Unknown_19: Oh, the Church of England. Why is this not playable?

Unknown_19: Why can't I not play this?

Unknown_19: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? I want to play. Are you fucking kidding me?

0:21:49
Unknown_04: Maybe it's the next 10 minutes. Maybe it releases at the next 10 minutes. Let's see. Let's restart it.

Unknown_19: Yeah, I buy the deluxe edition. Yes, I fucking did. That's why I'm able to download it.

Unknown_04: ah i figured it out with ristardo steam oh i can now play the game oh now i'm installing microsoft net framework step one of one

0:22:45
Unknown_04: Oh my God. Oh my God. Um, read before playing a very small sprint. There's an individual expert athletic scissors. When being exposed to certain light patterns or flash, I was exposed to a certain house or background positive on computer screen while playing video games. When you do this epileptic seizures, seizure fucking warning. Yeah. Okay. Game capture, not Dota two, hoagie awards, leg in the sea.

Unknown_04: Oh my God. It's so magical.

Unknown_04: i'm being i'm being transported into a magical world of loading screens that we've not ever seen before chat can you believe it uh question mark for 250 seasons god damn it josh you skipped my donation on the 10-year stream now i forgot what i was trying to say something about queen cecil i guess i did not see your i for sure did not i can search i type in cecil do i see it

0:23:36
Unknown_04: Cecil no you there are no super chats from the third that include the word cecil at all. So you fucked up my dude Jack tucson for 10 says try and make the scary amazon black lady as your character. Okay, i'll do my best We'll go through the character. We'll spend now that we have two hours left to play this game I'm gonna spend the first hour just playing the character creator and we'll see what we come up with together chat. It'll be magical Why am I playing skyrim? have to say that's a nice serif font as an enjoyer of serif fonts i think that's a nice serif font every letter is so uh distinct mini reader off camera shake on i guess um cursor sensitivity i'll drop that down a little bit i like i have a nice a nice epic gamer pad and i want to use it um

0:24:33
Unknown_04: Audio visualizer size. OK, that's fine.

Unknown_04: I like the subtitles on. Oh, I can accept those terms of service, my dude.

Unknown_04: Claim your reward. I will skip the sign in for now.

Unknown_04: OK.

Unknown_04: recommended ultra okay that's fine i'm gonna enable all this because why not oh you want me to restart the game never mind actually i don't want those things at all to be quite fucking honest with you not interested headphones it's the most exciting part of the game

0:25:33
Unknown_04: I'm a fucking gamer. Wow. This is not how you have a field of view of slider. What the fuck does this mean? How do I, I can't even set it back to what it was. There we go. Perfect. Amazing. I don't want motion blur cause that shit's gay. I don't want depth of film.

Unknown_04: I think that's gay.

Unknown_27: um okay i think we're done until the image is barely visible maybe i'm just blind but that's i have to up that brightness a bit

0:26:28
Unknown_04: Hogwarts, witchcraft, and wizardry. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a fifth year student. Term begins now. So I'm just so good at witchcraft. I'm a fifth year already.

Unknown_04: I guess they don't want you playing as a little kid. Preliminary supplies have been collected for you and will accompany you on your journey to the castle. As you may be aware... The decree for reasonable reasonable restriction of underage sorcery prohibits these a medic with those under the age of 17 outside the school however due to your unique circumstances the ministry has Graciously agreed to allow professor Ellis our fig to help you hone your spell crafting before sorting you from London. Oh God in London. What a shithole yours professor Weasley deputy headmistress

0:27:08
Unknown_04: Hermione as Ron Weasley. Oh, geez. British. British simulator. Hell yeah.

Unknown_04: I kind of. Okay. So get ready. This will be the entire first stream. I will be playing around with this until I'm satisfied.

Unknown_00: First option is a whammon.

Unknown_04: Then whatever the fuck this is. Mutt. Mutt. British boy.

0:27:39
Unknown_04: Mutt. Let's see.

Unknown_04: Face shape.

Unknown_04: These all seem like female faces. Am I wrong?

Unknown_04: Now make your black.

Unknown_04: Oh yeah. There's no like Indian pool in the Lou color though. I guess that's kind of foolish.

Unknown_04: Yeah. Three glasses up and you can buy more at the DLC.

Unknown_04: Um,

Unknown_04: So the colors are all different. I can make her like a danger here if I want to.

0:28:12
Unknown_04: Pick Venti.

Unknown_04: Oh, geez. I can make her all fucked up.

Unknown_04: she had a rough encounter in the women's restroom before she became a i'm just playing around by the way i'm not i'm not like designing something that i want to play yet i'm just seeing what's okay i have two voices i am indeed a student but i could very well be able to help you it was wonderful i believe i'm really going to enjoy this class i'm eager to get to hogsmeade that was quite something wow that's super distorted a few cobwebs and some dust

0:28:51
Unknown_15: was wonderful i believe i'm really going to enjoy this class he's a real girl oh i'm eager to get to hogsmeade

Unknown_25: i am indeed a student but i could very well be able to help you a few cobwebs and some dust okay to be concerned about okay let's see engage with your audience start a poll what is we'd be doing john potter definitely not uh not a gary student okay or uh

0:29:34
Unknown_04: Uh, let's see, what's a really fun shot. Nikla and Nikla wizard from the Congo or, uh, sir, man hands woman with a grip. Okay. Let's see what we're doing.

Unknown_04: Cat, I expect you to guide my character creation intelligently. And you tell me that way I can absolve myself

0:30:16
Unknown_04: oh oh geez it's like it's like a 55 oh god shaniqua has taken the lead unexpectedly their man hands back this is neck and neck nobody nobody can tell what they want um once it gets up to 500 roads or so 600 it's so neck and neck that i can't even tell i'll do as i'll do a a runoff pull don't worry just vote for your favorite of these oh geez

Unknown_04: it is very close for one of these shitty youtube polls okay fine i'll do i'll do a runner a run-up poll run up what we'd be doing servant man hands or tell me your favorite we'll see this this is the true the true test

0:31:12
Unknown_04: get those let's get it going oh my gosh janika was up in the lead and now oh my god sir man has has resurged and is okay i guess i really didn't want to do a troon character but uh chat jack gets the chat once i guess we're just gonna go for okay wait hold up hold up hold up I know exactly what I want to do. I know exactly what I want to do. Give me a second.

Unknown_04: Give me a second. We're going to play around with it. Let me put this on a different screen so I can see the chat while I'm doing this. And let's see what we got here.

Unknown_04: I want you to guess when you figure it out what I'm doing. I'm curious to see how long it will take. Let's see.

0:32:11
Unknown_02: That one's pretty good. No, that one's still better.

Unknown_04: no no no it's not so obvious um glasses you want some long hair i think this is the longest hair is what i've got drift locks that's cultural appropriation my dude i can make her like moldy locks where's the bright green uh

0:33:03
Unknown_04: Is that as green as it gets when you have this selected? Yeah. That's not what I'm doing though. This hair is like too pretty for the person I'm doing.

Unknown_04: Is there no bright blue?

Unknown_04: Why the fuck is there like bright green but no bright blue? Who the fuck designed this character creator and said no bright blue? It's not the right color. It's like too muted. I need like neon blue.

Unknown_04: actually i was going to do laura kate dale because i know laura kate dale is having like a jim sterling would be funnier i'm gonna i have to agree actually well jim has a stupid hat though okay hold up let's get a full i need like can i make my character fat jim sterling would be funny i agree that's a nice rounded face he's got a super round face like a big chin

0:34:04
Unknown_04: Hmm, it's pretty close to I'd like to asian That's pretty good his nose is bigger though, I don't have too much option in terms of like what i'm doing here I feel like the You know what the face real the the face that you choose really really impacts Um the look of the character

Unknown_04: I need something with a way rounder face.

Unknown_04: Yes, I think it does. Maybe I'm just having a psychotic breakdown. I'm pretty sure that it really affects it though.

Unknown_04: Can you pick eye color and shit? Okay, you can. So I can change the complexion to super pasty. No freckles.

Unknown_04: No scars.

0:35:04
Unknown_04: Um, and then, like, really long and fake red hair. Yeah, that's about right. It's so flattering, though.

Unknown_04: Um, what are we doing for eyebrows here, boys?

Unknown_04: It's got, like, bushy. Okay, I got you. Yeah, that's right. That's right. He's a... Nope.

Unknown_04: The eyebrows are doing the magic the incongruous eyebrows are Use a male preset that's smarter, okay You know round face that's pretty rounded I might go with the black guy and oh, you know what that works, too. That's perfect.

0:35:52
Unknown_04: Okay White skin color he does have glasses. Oh

Unknown_04: Oh, this is working. I feel that this is working out as I want it to.

Unknown_04: Completely different hair options.

Unknown_04: Oh, dude, dude, this works. This is working. We're really working here. This is ideal. We're getting to what I have in my head.

0:36:24
Unknown_04: Maybe let's take a check at the glasses again.

Unknown_04: gonna keep the round i know that it's canonical because it's harry potter he does not he has like aviators he doesn't have and he has like like winged glasses now but the round that they love that in real life so i'm just gonna go with the right okay now he has um actually you know what that

Unknown_04: Oh, the eyebrows are so much better now too. Dude. He doesn't even look like this in real life or I would stick with it.

0:37:03
Unknown_04: That's funny.

Unknown_04: You know what's funny is when I do shit like this, I feel bad for creating something like this. Like willing it into existence. You know what I mean? It's like if I was a god, I would not be so evil. I would not be able to bring such tragedy into the world, I don't think.

Unknown_04: I'm kind of digging that. His eyebrows are about that thick, I want to say. They're kind of plucked on the edges, but... Yeah, I'll deal with that. The unibrow is, uh... Okay, what's his eye color?

0:37:34
Unknown_04: Yeah, it's like a green.

Unknown_04: Is that a green? It's like a super light green. It's actually got nice eyes. I'm not afraid.

Unknown_04: Look, all these colors, and when you're, when you are from any place except Europe or, uh, from, hereditarily from Europe, you have one eye color. Then you gotta, you gotta expand out to see all the browns and blues and greens and teals that exist for Hawaii. All the, the mongoloid ancestors. The Neanderthal ancestors, rather.

0:38:10
Unknown_04: Am I, like, colorblind? Where's the, I swear, uh,

Unknown_04: Is this green? Can I zoom in?

Unknown_04: Yeah, that's pretty accurate. I'll go back to that one. One more swipe around.

Unknown_04: Actually, you know what?

Unknown_04: Yeah, I'm going with this one. Fuck it. That's good enough.

0:38:42
Unknown_04: Oh, I can get him to look around? Why is he very suspicious of my cursor all of a sudden? That was weirding me out.

Unknown_04: okay that's good that's good oh no it's your character's dormitory oh no sorry lads that was quite something it was wonderful i believe i'm really going to enjoy this class this is great this is great okay There we go. Jim Stefani Sterling.

0:39:27
Unknown_04: Wizarding, Wizard World, Streets of London. There's the flag right off the... It appears we are almost ready to depart.

Unknown_11: It's a pity we didn't have a bit more time to spend on spellcasting. I presume you've been practicing the spells we worked on. I have, Professor. Well, I'm quite sure I've never seen anyone take so quickly to a secondhand wand. You'll be a force to be reckoned with when you get your own.

Unknown_15: Thank you, Professor Fig. I appreciate you working with me.

0:39:59
Unknown_02: This is magical.

Unknown_11: Oh, Eleazar. George. Glad my rather cryptic description of our location did not thwart your finding us. I've apparated to more vaguely defined destinations than this.

Unknown_04: That sounds sexual. Though I confess I may have miscalculated slightly on my first try.

Unknown_11: Gave quite the fright to some theater-goers in the West End. it's been much too long when I received your owl I must say I best not speak here Eliazar of course why don't we speak on route to Hogwarts we have a start of term feast and a sorting ceremony to get to wonderful idea as long as your young charge here doesn't mind me tagging along not at all sir are they gonna avoid using pronouns at all

0:40:45
Unknown_18: Ages since I've been to the cops your young charge.

Unknown_04: They're just gonna I guarantee you prediction They are not gonna use a single gender pronoun in the entire game. They're gonna find some way to ride around it the entire time Now the horse did not live in there isn't a force I guess it just flies and uses with the air It would make more sense to have like a flying horse or something. I Thank you.

0:41:57
Unknown_18: glad i caught you before you left for scotland just barely i want to play and who is your traveling companion i have very low tolerance for cutscenes a new student new yes sir i'm starting school as a fifth year how extraordinary it is indeed none of the faculty has ever heard of anyone being admitted to hogwarts so late

Unknown_11: Our new student. Professor Fig is not only an exceptional teacher.

Unknown_04: I did a pretty good job. It looks a lot like Jim Sterling. He just needs a hat.

Unknown_11: I dare say it's one of the reasons he's risen so far at the ministry.

Unknown_04: I need to get a stovetop hat as soon as I possibly can. Have you seen this?

0:42:55
Unknown_11: I have. Oh no! Goblins! Appears to differ as to how great a threat Ranrock really is.

Unknown_11: Although I've yet to convince my colleagues at the Ministry, I believe he is a significant threat.

Unknown_04: If I have any option to murder goblins, that's my playthrough role. I will go out of my way to murder goblins as much as possible. How?

Unknown_11: She wrote to me about Ranrock before she died, wondering what the Ministry knew about his activities.

0:43:33
Unknown_11: Before I could respond, I received this.

Unknown_11: It was the last thing she sent me, Eleazar. It came to me via her owl.

Unknown_11: But with no correspondence, I can only assume that she had to get rid of it quickly to keep it safe. Presumably from Ranrock. I cannot open it. Whatever magic protects this is powerful indeed. It looks like goblin metal. Oh, no. What's that glow? Silver.

Unknown_11: I don't see a glow.

0:44:07
Unknown_04: Nor do I. Oh, no, I'm silver-tongued. I can see the silver that the snake, like, was parcel-tongued.

Unknown_11: Merlin's beard. How did you... Wait!

Unknown_04: Holy shit, I Can't believe they've already murdered Hedwig.

Unknown_04: I don't know the house fine. He survives something that guy's fucking dead though Let's try to that that

0:44:56
Unknown_04: All the fake horses are dead So what we're gonna do is we're gonna write like for an intro sequence and then like we're just gonna have a dragon swoop in A pretty good dragon design No truants around I can't believe that dragon is so transphobic

Unknown_11: Did you know those red squirrels are endangered because the new world black squirrels have basically killed them by being bigger Throughout Europe those red skills were really in motion now that stuff will want you in a second G to heal, okay

Unknown_15: What happened? Poor George. I can't believe he... What the hell got into that damn thing?

0:45:53
Unknown_11: Attacking a carriage mid-air?

Unknown_11: A typical dragon would never... Professor?

Unknown_04: What if the dragon was bitter? I'm not sure. I'm only getting 60 frames. What you discovered was clearly a portkey.

Unknown_11: Portkey? An item enchanted to bring whoever touches it to a specific place.

0:46:25
Unknown_15: I'm feeling better, sir. If you'd like to look around a bit, I would, but stay close.

Unknown_11: We've no idea who created this poor key or why?

Unknown_04: Oh God. That's like the slowest.

Unknown_04: Oh, where is my.

Unknown_04: says framework 144 but it's lying it's lying chat okay fine no i don't you didn't see anything no no it's not true it's just an artifact

0:47:17
Unknown_11: How far did that portkey take us? Farther from London than the carriage traveled.

Unknown_03: We're somewhere in the Scottish Highlands.

Unknown_11: He does. He has the hunch.

Unknown_11: The portkey was meant to lead us there. I do. This has not been the day either of us expected. But Miriam sent that portkey to George for a reason. And I believe that she, and now George, died in pursuit of whatever it was meant to lead to.

Unknown_04: I don't know who either of those are.

Unknown_11: If you're sure you're alright and wouldn't mind indulging me, I'd like to have a look around. Absolutely, sir. Good.

0:47:52
Unknown_11: Let's see if we can find a path, however faded it may be.

Unknown_04: Okay, I'm going to try to disable the async and see what happens. If there's screen tearing, I'll have to turn it back on.

Unknown_04: Don't look at my graphics card. I'm very embarrassed by my graphics card, to be honest with you.

Unknown_04: I was such a consumer.

Unknown_02: Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Much better.

Unknown_04: Ah, so silky smooth.

Unknown_15: Where do you suppose your wife got the poor key that brought us here? A good question.

0:48:23
Unknown_11: Miriam spent years searching for evidence of a long-forgotten form of ancient magic.

Unknown_15: Ancient magic?

Unknown_11: yes a powerful are they really using she i haven't heard she seems to have been lost okay speed running oh i can't run past him oh look castle was built it disables my run stronghold of that ancient magic i don't know where she came into possession of the portkey but i am certain it was to do with that search ah that's the path down below this way

0:49:06
Unknown_15: But sir, why was your wife searching for evidence of lost magic?

Unknown_11: Miriam wanted to understand why such powerful magic disappeared from the Wizarding World. Spoke of the good it could do. But magic is no different than any power. What really matters is the one who wields it.

Unknown_04: Yes. We wield it to open the path so I can continue.

Unknown_11: Is that ice? It's not cold enough here. It appears to be a sort of enchantment. Someone wanted to block this path. Let's see some of that one work you were practicing.

0:49:42
Unknown_04: Sorry, professor. I'm getting... Focus on the center. I'm getting prepared. Oh, basic cast. Oh, there we go. Bam. Boom.

Unknown_04: What the hell is that? I'm not even saying spidectal badudum. That was a bit rougher than I expected.

Unknown_11: Your wand work's improving with every cast.

0:50:15
Unknown_15: Thank you, sir.

Unknown_04: Did you ask him the gender?

Unknown_11: Yeah Yeah, I'm this dude's fit we're close now it's just ahead Sorry professor.

Unknown_04: I'm trying to get a woman's boss Steady yourself

0:51:02
Unknown_04: that's great you're gonna repair a gigantic stone bridge look it's not even properly repaired look at how up this is so you repair the bridge but it's to like a shitty like state that's like not really repaired like 41 repaired i guess it's kind of functional

Unknown_15: Why would someone take this controls that are like oriented towards fucking?

Unknown_04: So sluggish and shitty Let's have a look around for anything that seems Out of place That gas was really funny Where's I need another vase? I broke them all it was really funny though Give me another vase to break I want to show people that cat. Okay. Watch watch watch you ready?

0:52:04
Unknown_04: It was like, it was, it was like a very, um, it was like a very casual, like, like look behind castles. Pretty cool.

Unknown_04: Professor this statue, this may have been his home.

Unknown_04: It was a very fancy fucking home.

0:52:43
Unknown_15: Oh, I guess I have to touch this one.

Unknown_20: I can't believe this guy's name is Professor Fig.

Unknown_02: Whoa.

Unknown_11: Why would someone have conjured that enchanted stone here?

Unknown_15: And how is there a room behind it?

Unknown_15: I don't see anything.

Unknown_20: There's that glow again, like the glow in a 4-key container.

0:53:26
Unknown_04: So is the gimmick of this game that I'm special for some reason and I can see things nobody else can?

Unknown_04: We'll have to press F on this.

Unknown_11: Oh no.

Unknown_15: Goblin. I think.

Unknown_27: No, don't wake him up.

0:54:07
Unknown_23: Like a lot.

Unknown_04: It can't be.

Unknown_04: It's a bloke dressed up like a broad.

Unknown_18: Just a moment. It is Harvey Weinstein. Welcome to Gringotts Wizarding Bank.

Unknown_11: vault number 12 i presume precisely i don't like this the only reason why we're going to green guts after you know that exciting intro sequence is that that's what happens in the first movie is that they go to gringotts and they get you out of the bank this way then it's like he doesn't have any reason to go to a bank stay close

0:55:13
Unknown_03: After you After you my lady Keep your hands inside the cart if you don't wish to lose them

Unknown_04: Of course my character is trained. They're on a train right now.

Unknown_18: Excellent set design.

Unknown_04: Very cool.

Unknown_11: They need to give a raise to whoever put together the fucking maps because the game is like stunning. You know how much effort went into making this, the sequence, just so that you can ride down the fucking train tracks?

0:55:58
Unknown_04: like hours and hours hundreds of hours probably a lot and like collectively

Unknown_11: That waterfall washes away all enchantments. It's a security measure. Experienced the thief's downfall before, have you? Pardon it. These are the lower vaults that we're passing now.

Unknown_04: Oh, no. Not that kind of roller coaster. This one's kosher.

Unknown_18: Shortly after Gringotts was founded over four centuries ago, it resides in the deepest part of the bank.

Unknown_03: At the end of this, it's a wall. You fly out.

0:56:39
Unknown_18: Vault number?

Unknown_18: Vault 12. Momentous day!

Unknown_08: On your way.

0:57:23
Unknown_15: Professor mm-hmm that God was wearing was glowing.

Unknown_17: Oh, no like the clue you saw in the book you contain his arm band I saw that same glow dragon's collar.

Unknown_11: Yeah, what was that? We were just wondering about that goblin back there He watches over the oldest section of the bank Where anyone goes there anymore?

Unknown_04: He literally glows in the dark, oh my god, there's so many memes I didn't expect the game to be so many medic. I actually they did. That's why I was playing it. I

Unknown_04: Get the fucking lid out!

0:58:10
Unknown_18: They have like an anti-jump thing, you like stare over the edge if you try to walk.

Unknown_11: I don't actually know what's in it.

0:58:50
Unknown_18: Wow, get fucked.

Unknown_04: Then I am to open the hatch at the top of the vault and put in these capsules.

Unknown_11: Not to worry, it's merely a delousing agent. Oh my god.

0:59:43
Unknown_04: Oh no!

Unknown_04: Revillio. Press R. Okay. Is there really nothing else in this? There's money. Can I get the money?

Unknown_04: I want the money. Who is lighting these candles in here? Have they just been lit for like a thousand years?

Unknown_04: Hey look! A cow!

Unknown_04: Can I get like an achievement for noticing the cow? No.

1:00:19
Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_04: No. Okay. I have no achievement for the cow. Adore. Well, that's a start.

Unknown_15: It's that symbol again. I don't suppose you see a way to... I do, Professor. That symbol has the same glow as the one I saw on the portkey container. If what you can see reveals the way forward, then I dare say we are about to discover the secret of this vault.

Unknown_11: Lead the way.

1:00:55
Unknown_11: Lumos!

Unknown_11: This is no ordinary vault. I suspect we will need to earn our way out of here.

Unknown_11: What do you mean, earn our way out? Do you think this is some sort of test? I do. But to what end, I can't say. Stay close. There will be no disapparating if things go poorly. Not out of Gringotts.

1:01:27
Unknown_04: Oh, if I run behind him, he, uh, goes faster.

Unknown_17: What happened?

Unknown_15: When I moved towards the glow, it suddenly seemed as if the ground was swirling about. Are you all right?

Unknown_15: Yes, sir. I'm fine.

Unknown_11: You seem to have caused the floor to change.

Unknown_11: That statue.

Unknown_04: You have appeared to have transitioned the floor to some kind of other floor. I see some sort of statue, but only as a reflection in the floor.

Unknown_02: That's not what I see.

Unknown_11: Revelio. I presume this is what you saw reflected in the floor.

1:02:07
Unknown_15: No, no, I'm entailed. It is. The reflection's still there, but the statue's position is so much... Oh my god, now I can cast the Lumos.

Unknown_04: You require the one lighting charm Lumos, which has automatically been slotted into your small spot.

1:02:48
Unknown_04: Okay.

Unknown_15: Lumos. Well done. Now the reflection is turning towards me. It does follow the light.

Unknown_27: Um. Jeez.

Unknown_04: Hopefully this is easier than Dark Souls.

Unknown_04: No, I suck at that game. Oh, what if I... What if I fuck up?

1:03:20
Unknown_04: I guess he probably just cast it. I gotta die.

Unknown_04: Woo! Wow, my spells suck! Hell yeah.

Unknown_04: Oh no, you just get thumped upside the head That guy's way better than me Oh, I see you have to You don't you have to actually do any damage I just have to block I understand

1:04:15
Unknown_02: Oh, Jesus Christ, he just cut my fucking head off.

Unknown_04: Oh, then there's like a... Uh, or a riposte attack. Ow, jeez.

Unknown_03: Fuck this.

Unknown_03: Professor!

1:04:54
Unknown_20: Professor Fig! Professor, where are you?

Unknown_15: This isn't good.

Unknown_04: Press B to boost your spells. That sounds like a lie. Where am I supposed to go? Geez, I wonder where I'm supposed to go.

Unknown_15: What's happening? The wisps of magic seem to be leading me somewhere.

Unknown_04: You know, fucking shit.

Unknown_15: Ah, that's where they're leading me. I know it.

1:05:38
Unknown_13: Rebellion!

Unknown_15: I suppose I'm on my own this time.

Unknown_15: Oh, no.

Unknown_04: Hey, what's this?

Unknown_04: What's this?

Unknown_04: Oh, money, finally. Now the game's getting interesting. What's this?

Unknown_04: Oh, it doesn't light up.

Unknown_15: Oh, I see.

Unknown_15: It seems I have no choice. I'm gonna have to fight my way out of here.

1:06:10
Unknown_04: Can you dare to challenge the first trans student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and or Wizardry? Damn, you fools. You have made some dire mistakes.

Unknown_04: I figured this out already.

Unknown_04: Absolute fools.

Unknown_04: or you see being trans is not about imitating women it's about being better than women oh i have to hold it i see i was having too much fun just laughing

1:07:16
Unknown_04: I am the best

Unknown_02: What a great cinematic shot so everyone who put their all of the little girls by little girls I mean 30 year old women who put themselves into this game just like design their character after them are like wow that's me I'm casting spells and shit and I feel they love it you know what good for them I'm glad that people can get joy from something

1:08:29
Unknown_04: No real women real women love harry potter. Okay, there you are.

Unknown_04: How did you What is this place I don't know but I found this floating above that basin That is no mere basin That is a pensive from the movies memories from the movies It was in the movies.

Unknown_11: I wonder

1:09:06
Unknown_04: Oh my god, this is just like in the movies.

Unknown_03: Wouldn't it be really awkward for like a sex scene?

Unknown_04: I put this one in storage so I could watch it again. Wall is in place.

1:09:40
Unknown_11: The portkey is well hidden. Perhaps too well. I wonder if the path we've created may be impossible to follow. It will only be impossible for one who cannot see traces of ancient magic as I can. Your ability to see what others cannot will not be enough, Percival. we are entrusting the one who embarks on this path with powerful secrets with knowledge others will do anything to obtain like what and if we are correct charles the ritual wizard who completes the trials will have proven themselves worthy of that knowledge and the responsibility you know this didn't need to be a pensive this could have just been a note we can is it really is this memory like so important that it has to be like recorded in a bottle like this

1:10:28
Unknown_04: literally just write write a fucking note that's what you're seeing the glow that surrounded them yes sir astonishing can i see magic traces of an ancient magic to be precise the magic that miriam had always believed existed who the fuck is miriam

Unknown_11: miriam and perhaps george died in pursuit of knowledge that has been dormant for centuries is the is the game lagging it seems the uh like the frame rate is it fine for you guys watching i'm watching obs and i'm seeing like some stuttering i'm not sure if that's like someone's coming melting or whatever who were they i don't know but sir you shouldn't be in

1:11:27
Unknown_11: Goblins Evil goblins

Unknown_04: Wait, so the goblins are robbing their own fucking thing?

Unknown_18: Sir, they have the key to the vault.

Unknown_04: Oh, that's the good goblin.

Unknown_05: Choose your next words wisely.

Unknown_09: I only meant that the instructions to Vault 12 were quite clear.

Unknown_18: Sir, I must insist. I was to grant access only to one with the key, and you didn't...

1:12:25
Unknown_11: Have no patience for traitors.

Unknown_04: Oh my god. No, he's dead. Where were we? I'm not giving you anything Time to fucking kill some goblins your young friend here young friend. I Can't tell that's a man abroad Ugliest fucking damn never seen but maybe I

Unknown_04: He, she, whatever the fuck. Give me the fucking Pinsy.

1:12:58
Unknown_04: Is this guy? So I'm not even going to kill the goblins. The fucking sword man's going to kill the goblins. I want to kill the goblins. I want to murder them in cold blood.

Unknown_04: Am I only going to get to kill, like, automatons and shit?

Unknown_07: I don't know.

1:13:35
Unknown_04: Is this guy going to die? Oh, no.

Unknown_11: Are you all right? Both Samson mode. I've never seen so powerful a goblin.

Unknown_11: He seemed wholly unaffected by my magic.

Unknown_11: Professor, the plot was over here. Let's go. It can't be. It was from the neck of the thing. It came in there. And the path to both wanted someone with your ability to end up here.

1:14:08
Unknown_11: We have a sorting ceremony to get to.

1:14:46
Unknown_04: Just like the movies.

Unknown_04: Oh, my God.

Unknown_04: That's pretty good.

1:15:18
Unknown_02: Very pretty.

Unknown_04: Alrighty now. Yeah, my legs are being kept very warm by my computer, which is blowing out like a fireplace.

Unknown_23: Actually, I'm kind of

Unknown_04: need to uh concerned about the temperature of my gpu to be quite honest with you oh good we haven't missed the sorting ceremony i'm no expert but that seems more appropriate now i need to study this locket as soon as i can but first i must contact the ministry they need to know what happened to george and be warned of ranrock

1:16:01
Unknown_11: For the moment, I ask that you keep all that's happened this evening between you and me. Of course, sir. Thank you. Ready for the sorting ceremony?

Unknown_11: Nigellus Black.

1:16:37
Unknown_11: Yeah, that'd be racist. Prepare yourself to meet the headmaster.

Unknown_11: Fig, nice of you to join us.

Unknown_11: The sorting ceremony's over. There were...complications. Complications? It seems the goblin problem is... Enough goblins. I've no time for rumors, Fig, and I'm rapidly losing whatever patience I had left. my god if you're lucky we might still be able to get you sorted this evening how would he choose to deliver his line like that i'll be in touch i'm looking at my obs settings to try and figure out if i can get obs to be more important than the game

1:17:26
Unknown_04: Right now it's a little bit laggy and I don't think that it should be a silky smooth for my friends Oh, I'm just in time and I don't have to wait or anything Oh boy

Unknown_17: What class? Ah, yes. A bit older than the others, aren't you? You come here with preferences and preconceptions.

Unknown_17: Certain expectations.

Unknown_04: Oh Jesus when they asked me that's yet I Want to explore well, you're a bit older male

1:18:26
Unknown_15: meeting my professors and learning all i can at hogwarts indeed hogwarts has much to offer and what you learn in class will prepare you for challenges outside the classroom as well

Unknown_04: I wonder how long this scene's gonna go on. Because this is super magical to someone who's, like, really, really into the books and movies and stuff.

Unknown_17: It's about HRT, and it's perfectly normal.

Unknown_04: What's, uh, the most true thing? Let's see what we got here.

Unknown_04: I'll say ambition. I have ambitions of being a real woman.

1:19:17
Unknown_15: I may seem single-minded, but it is important to go after what you want from life.

Unknown_15: Interesting.

Unknown_17: You've recently learned that you possess a rare ability.

Unknown_17: I detect a growing sense of ambition. An eagerness for power. Perhaps you belong in Slytherin.

Unknown_04: What's being Slytherin? All I said was that I had ambitions and I liked my classes.

1:19:53
Unknown_04: Obviously, we're a Hufflepuff. Oh, it's a badger. That's cute.

Unknown_17: I want to be a Hufflepuff.

Unknown_23: Better be Hufflepuff! Woo! Just like in the movies.

1:20:28
Unknown_23: Makes us just sit like this.

Unknown_11: Oh, and one more thing. Due to the unfortunate injury on the pitch in last spring's final, this year's Quidditch season has been cancelled. What the fuck?

Unknown_11: Oh, because we've run out of money, we will be putting the Quidditch games in the DLC.

Unknown_03: Calm down, calm down. You'll still be able to buy it, but months later, after the fact.

1:21:08
Unknown_11: Get the fuck out of here, you little shits.

Unknown_06: Who the fuck is this?

Unknown_11: It's not Hermione.

Unknown_06: Is this Ron?

1:21:45
Unknown_23: from headmistress ronalda weasley might be a bit of work it's using gender neutral pronouns somebody caught them there that's funny now here we are at the entrance to the hufflepuff common room this is the entrance indeed i will explain what to do but i hesitate to do it myself as one errant knock leads to being doused in vinegar

Unknown_06: Most unpleasant. You must tap the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row in the rhythm of Helga Hufflepuff.

Unknown_02: Let's do what?

Unknown_02: Silky smooth animation.

Unknown_06: Time to go to the women's dormitory. Are they gonna show it? Do I not get to see the inside of the dormitory?

1:22:45
Unknown_04: oh hell yeah looks like everyone's gone better head to the common room this is sleeping with the girls exactly where i belong you need the tampon ladies lumos

1:23:43
Unknown_16: Do they even say anything? That's funny.

Unknown_03: Hey ladies, how you doing? New here.

Unknown_16: This is pretty fucking comfy.

Unknown_04: I would live here. Oh shit, I'm breaking shit.

1:24:36
Unknown_04: Can I get an apple?

Unknown_04: I can eat apples.

Unknown_24: What's this?

Unknown_24: Oh, uncle, this doesn't sound like you. Something's wrong. Oh, hello there.

Unknown_15: I am pretty tall for a woman. You're right. I'm Adelaide.

Unknown_24: Pleasure to meet you.

Unknown_15: nice to meet you too is everything all right oh yes i'm just a bit distracted hey i'm your bunk mate we're gonna be sleeping together i can't wait to have a sleepover i want to tell i want to tell stories about boys with you

1:25:13
Unknown_15: that one is true not the typical start to a new school that's dreadful well i'm glad you made it here alive well anyway i imagine you have lots to do i hope you have a wonderful first day are you sure everything is all right with your uncle oh yes he travels for work always busy i'm sure he just wrote it in a rush day 99 of being a witch thank you adelaide Be seeing you.

Unknown_24: Of course. And good luck.

Unknown_23: What is this? I picked Hufflepuff. I picked Hufflepuff. What is this?

Unknown_03: If I wanted to be in a dark room, I would have picked Ravenclaw.

Unknown_07: I can't quite reach.

Unknown_07: Come on. You went that way. Hope they can catch him. Big castle for a student to get lost in, let alone a cat.

1:26:16
Unknown_07: I'm sure you'll find your way, all right? I mean, it can be a bit overwhelming at first.

Unknown_04: Okay, I need you to put on your silliest voice possible for this character.

Unknown_15: Nice to meet you. Was that your cat?

Unknown_07: No. One of the first years, I think. Don't have any pets of my own, unfortunately. My mother doesn't think too highly of them. Especially magical ones.

Unknown_15: i'm sorry to hear that i think magical beasts are incredible i want an animal coming to hogwarts nifflers glum bumbles bow truckles i thought they were only pictures in books before oh i should have picked slytherin for the more comfortable dormitory you're right anyway i better go make sure the first year has caught that cat don't want them to be late on their first day

1:27:13
Unknown_15: Nice meeting you, Arthur. And good luck finding that cat. Thank you.

Unknown_04: Nifflers. You know, watch out for those Nifflers, man. They're fucking vicious.

Unknown_04: You're alone in, like, one of the alleys. One of the many long, lonely hallways of Hogwarts. And you get cornered by a Niffler. You might as well just fucking kill yourself right there.

Unknown_04: Sorry, Bill Gates. I'm not taking the vaccine. Just don't want to. No specific reason. Ooh, cake. I'm...

Unknown_04: damn that's like three can i get another one i'm jim sterling i just oh i can't i can't take just stuff myself full of cake that's good isn't it get on my way sorry girls moving through

1:28:13
Unknown_04: What am I doing? Introduce yourself to Lenora. I just did, didn't I? There you are.

Unknown_26: There you are. Oh hello.

Unknown_26: She's awfully real typical for this woman.

Unknown_13: Is that your owl?

Unknown_26: I don't know who she is Likely one of the hufflepuffs around here owls choose their own company. Anyway, wait You're the new fifth year Quite the dramatic entrance you made Can't imagine wanting to bet you she cooks good chat.

1:28:46
Unknown_04: Don't don't bully.

Unknown_26: Everyone will be watching to see how much you already know I'm really not worried.

Unknown_15: I'm sure i'll be fine

Unknown_26: nevertheless it is rather unusual you must feel terribly out of place of course what are you trying to say about that i've been in just fine thank you very much but sometimes i think i should have been a ravenclaw I bet you Sierra means state too, lady.

1:29:31
Unknown_15: Do you really think you should have been in Ravenclaw?

Unknown_26: Well, my brothers were. They both work in ministry now.

Unknown_15: Oh, feds.

Unknown_26: Sorry. Sorry, babe.

Unknown_04: No feds. No family of feds. You know the rules.

Unknown_26: Determination, valor, daring. The old sorting hat was spoiled for choice with me.

Unknown_04: was nice meeting you getting out of here of course turn me into the the hogwarts irs or whatever professor weasley is waiting for them outside the common room that's a weasley good morning i trust you're ready for your first day at hogwarts

1:30:11
Unknown_15: I've been dreaming of this day for a long time. Can't believe I'm here.

Unknown_06: Well, you are here. Make the most of it. You only have one first day at Hogwarts. Now, in light of your unique situation, joining us as a fifth year... Their insistence that the main character is special just makes it sound extremely bigoted.

Unknown_04: Like, either the main character is mentally handicapped and this is like a special ed class or they're trans and they have to be taken care of especially.

Unknown_06: They will determine what type of career you can have when you leave here. After much discussion with the Headmaster and the Department of Magical Education at the Ministry, we've devised something extraordinary to ensure your success.

1:30:44
Unknown_04: Damn dude, they put all that effort into making them for you and you just splayed that shit all over the fucking place. What is it?

Unknown_06: It is a wizard's field guide. It will help you to keep track of what you are learning so that you master all that's expected of a fifth year.

1:31:26
Unknown_06: You would be wise to take full advantage of this exceptionally valuable resource.

Unknown_04: This is the thing that pops up when you press the H key. It's very special. We'll explain why you don't have to try very hard to do things.

Unknown_06: Perhaps seeing it in action will answer any questions you may have. Walk with me and we shall put it to the test.

Unknown_04: Okay. I'll push you along there so we can move a little bit faster now. Lumos, this way.

1:32:03
Unknown_06: Protego!

Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_04: A house elf recipe book rumored to contain some of Helga Hufflepuff's original creations. This book holds a collection of Hogwarts students, favorite recipes over the centuries. Some dishes like pickled original plums are likely an acquired taste.

Unknown_02: Oh, wow.

Unknown_02: Okay.

1:33:13
Unknown_06: Okay, I got you but was I supposed to level that thing up it looked like I had a thing Oh, I had a gear.

Unknown_04: Oh my god, I Can put on black gloves so when I creep around at night And make it gold

Unknown_04: awesome wait i need a top hat properly hey girls i'm just rooting around

1:34:10
Unknown_23: don't don't mind my broad shoulders ah good timing perfect opportunity to show you how to use blue flames to get around a bit quicker your field guide oh my god there is a bulge oh my god

Unknown_04: It's like the library Oh And here we are quite the time saver these stairs lead directly to central hall

1:35:14
Unknown_16: You can get almost anywhere in the castle quickly from Central Hall.

Unknown_27: The hunch?

Unknown_06: Always something happening here. It's the heart of the Hive. Our King's Cross Station, so to speak.

Unknown_04: This is fucking cool. They did a really good job with the interior. That should be all for now.

Unknown_06: You'll be expected to attend both charms and defense against the dark arts classes today. And I'd like to be sure you get to Hogsmeade as soon as possible to replace the supplies you lost on the way here.

1:35:51
Unknown_15: Thank you, Professor Weasley.

Unknown_06: A lot to absorb on your first day, and you have much to learn. Happily, your professors have agreed to create additional assignments for you outside of class. You'll be up to speed in no time. Judging by your adept use of Revelio earlier, I'd say professors... You can't miss Hogsmeade.

Unknown_04: Look for the sign that says Hogsmeade Formally Sneeds.

Unknown_06: The sign is this little joke. ...specifically about what happened after that awful dragon attack. My suspicion is that there's more to the story than a search for belongings and an extended trip up to the castle.

1:36:34
Unknown_15: We did take a bit of a detour on the way here. Ended up exploring some ruins and... I shouldn't say more.

Unknown_06: Exploring ruins? Well, I presume Professor Fig has his reasons for keeping the details to himself for now.

Unknown_06: speak of the devil speak of the devil there he is hi hello i like to stand around here in the central station with a solid foundation in the basics of spell casting ah i'm afraid i can't take all the credit there professor they've a rare day aptitude well i'm just glad you both are right they had to re-record all these lines when they had to let it go through control f all the lines and try to find the one that said he or she rather unfortunately it would seem that it chose us Very well. Enough chit-chat. I need to get to class myself. Might I rely on you, Professor Fig, to explain the details of the field guide's map?

1:37:07
Unknown_04: Of course.

Unknown_06: Thank you.

Unknown_04: They're a prostate.

Unknown_06: Good luck today. And remember to use your field guide. It will be invaluable to you. And invaluable to me, as I'll be using it to keep up to date on your progress.

Unknown_15: Yes, Professor.

Unknown_06: Come find me in my classroom after you've attended both classes today, and I'll explain more about those assignments I mentioned. And we'll see if we can't get you to Hogsmeade for those supplies.

1:38:05
Unknown_04: Okay, what am I doing? Talk to Professor. Jesus, fuck! I want to leave! It's good to see you, Professor.

Unknown_11: And you. I was hoping our paths would cross today before you immersed yourself in studies. Did I hear you and Professor Weasley talking about exploring ruins?

Unknown_15: Yes.

Unknown_15: Yes, sir. But I didn't tell her anything else about our travels here. I will say, I think she suspects we're being entirely forthcoming. Yes, well, Professor Weasley is a brilliant and astute witch.

1:38:41
Unknown_11: It was right to keep the details to yourself for now. We don't know where this path we've embarked upon will lead. it may require a bit more flexibility with your time than she would all right professor i'm very heteroflexible obliged to share details with the headmaster yeah come on i want to do something left between us we're now like what now we're in now let me do something i believe the ability you possess obliges you to be well trained happily you have the benefit of an exceptionally skilled team of witches and wizards to guide you speaking of guides And so that I may avoid another not so subtle reproof from Professor Weasley, why don't I show you the clever enchantment we included in the field guides map?

1:39:22
Unknown_02: Unfold it and have a look.

Unknown_04: Yeah, OK, I've seen this before.

Unknown_04: defense against the darker that sounds like a fun thing the map is enchanted to help you yes i know what a waypoint is i've been playing games for 25 years with classes and let me play including your own wand you'll enjoy mr olivander he's an exceptional craftsman and a good friend

1:40:13
Unknown_11: i shall reach out when i have more information about our mysterious locket for now focus on your classes and pay attention more than your owls may hinge on the magic you are able to master within these walls okay oh i see i'm gonna give me what and now oh now the door are you kidding me come on now

Unknown_04: It's the Grim Reaper. oh yeah i'm gonna whip this guy's ass you're gonna get beat by a girl by a girl put me in the women's spellcasting league a woman's place is in the defense of the dark hearts to pieces in your own time i get new students every year but i only have one hebridean black skull

1:41:11
Unknown_22: It was a token from the Great Poacher Raid of 1878. No doubt you've heard of it. now you may be asking yourself how an old woman like me single-handedly took out the largest poacher ring in eastern wales this is exactly like the storytelling in um the uh the star wars prequels where they're in the elevator and he's like uh this is the third time i've saved your skin yes but the last time when we were going to the umbrellian uh smuggling league and i care to remember come on now leviosa leviosa I like the character's voice actor. She's really sassy. The nose is fine.

1:42:51
Unknown_20: I thought it was Levioso.

Unknown_04: Has it always been Levioso? If I was a wizard and I had to pronounce things very precisely in order to cast spells, I would be the worst fucking wizard ever. I don't even get to whip some kid's ass. I have to beat up this fucking thing. Are you fucking kidding me?

Unknown_22: Let us begin with a basic cost.

1:43:25
Unknown_04: Yeah, I know what the i'm no, I know I just beat the fucking tutorial lady Deflected your cast. Yes this time cast levioso first then the basic cast remember a surprise

Unknown_04: very good but the best way to practice is by jewelry we'll start with youtube without the bold intimidate them what's welcome now yes i'm a girl with a penis haven't you ever seen one before basic cost and protego you may begin this is your first day at class by the way you're gonna have a fight to the death of this kid

1:44:21
Unknown_23: Fuck Sebastian, you piece of shit motherfucker.

Unknown_06: Get the fuck out of here.

Unknown_10: You didn't even get one spell off, you piece of shit.

Unknown_22: Look at the AGP smirk. i put you on the spot and you rose to the challenge points to hufflepuff thank you oh yeah get back glad to have the opportunity to practice if what i've seen extra points to hufflepuff from representing the female gender is so well i demand excellence from my students they are capable of achieving it and they must i like this character i don't know why she's got a good design and her voice actor is like the least is like it's talented and she's not like corny everybody else seems like they're putting on like a silly voice she kind of understood professor fits into the character very well i'd advise you to keep practicing whenever you can perhaps mr sallow will have some ideas for you again well done today i shall reach out soon with additional assignments

1:45:11
Unknown_24: All right, that's enough speculation. I'd hate to face Professor Hecate in a duel.

Unknown_07: Oh, I'm not much for dueling. I prefer to keep things friendly.

Unknown_04: I prefer to keep things friendly. Nice work.

Unknown_15: You're gonna ask me up or what, bro?

Unknown_10: You got your ass kicked.

Unknown_03: He's like saying, I'm gonna be humiliated.

Unknown_10: I got my ass kicked by the fucking freak. It sounds friendly.

1:46:09
Unknown_10: Oh, fuck yeah.

Unknown_15: exclusive and unsanctioned count me in i won't listen here sebastian i'll do your your cockfighting but this is what i need i have a persona break the rules now and then my name whether it's joy and the ring when i'm dueling will be into the

1:46:59
Unknown_04: and you will refer to me because i have a whole look i have a whole latex uniform it's in my it's in my steamer upstairs okay i'm gonna be wearing it and you will refer to me only as stir dust in the squared circle you understand your performance today with sheer luck or actual skill look for luke and brattleby near the clock tower entrance if you're interested

Unknown_04: Am a Hufflepuff the pajamas are because I can undress myself and I opted to my young friend It's talking to me fucking statue shit I'm dreading taking my transfiguration owl Rebellion

Unknown_04: the augury scouts and the scouts of an irish phoenix or augury is an intensely shy bird who can forecast the coming of rain whose mournful cries was once believed to foretell death how can i see stuff rebellion i could see stuff through the walls where why do i get over there i want to open those

1:48:21
Unknown_04: Damn, there's so many students.

Unknown_04: Maybe it's in here that I have to look around? She's yelling at me for being nakey.

Unknown_04: Oh, it's all inside that room. I don't get to go in there yet, but I can see the outlines of the shit that I need to collect.

Unknown_12: Ah, okay.

Unknown_04: She knows that she can't tell me to change out of my uniform or into my uniform because that would be transphobic.

1:48:54
Unknown_25: We can't just have a male student walking around with his dingle dongus flopping about in front of the girls.

Unknown_04: Actually, we can't say anything about it. It would be transphobic.

Unknown_04: I don't even know where I'm going. Go to Charm's class. Okay, I'm on my way, bro. Let's see a thingy, though, and we'll pick it up.

Unknown_10: Professor Ronan tends to go on a bit. Here.

1:49:45
Unknown_04: Where are the toilets?

Unknown_01: You just poo on the floor and disappear. Oh, it's a Nigerian student.

Unknown_04: Cool.

Unknown_01: Hello, I am Nettie.

Unknown_01: So you are the new student.

Unknown_01: Have you met Professor Ronan yet?

Unknown_14: Shall we begin?

Unknown_05: Aw hell yeah!

Unknown_14: Welcome to year five of charms. Now, this will be a crucial year in your education on the art of charm work. But I am confident!

Unknown_04: I am going to tell you how to make the Taurus money disappear with one easy spell. You show him the snake oil and then BAM!

1:50:21
Unknown_03: You take his wallet and you run away.

Unknown_11: Tell me the difference between the incantations of the color change and growth charts.

Unknown_11: Anyone? Anyone?

Unknown_14: I am afraid it is too late to study now. My, the summer months must have really taken a toll on you all.

Unknown_14: By the looks of it, you all spent your holidays practicing Obliviate on one another.

1:50:59
Unknown_14: Do you even remember how to perform a basic summoning charm?

Unknown_14: Everyone get out your Torah.

Unknown_05: We have much catching up to do. Now repeat after me.

Unknown_05: Allah is the one true God and Muhammad is his prophet.

1:51:38
Unknown_04: I think he's more Arab than Jewish, to be honest with you.

Unknown_23: Circumcise him.

Unknown_05: Oh, shit. He just stole her book.

Unknown_14: You are a swift learner.

Unknown_14: I see a lot of potential, but remember, potential is nothing without practice.

Unknown_14: Keep at it, Wow, all done! After me!

1:52:11
Unknown_14: i've always found that fun goes hand in hand with mastery as i'm sure the quidditch players amongst us look at that gray sky this really is in england so what better than a bit of sport to put our prowess with the summoning charm to the no sports were cancelled that's in the dlc you didn't get the memo

1:53:11
Unknown_14: So why don't we have our newest students start us off?

Unknown_03: Someone in chat doesn't like my character design. Listen, his name is James. Okay. One of the spheres.

Unknown_14: Very good. Happens to the best of us.

Unknown_04: Oh, I'm supposed to get on the 50. I got you.

Unknown_14: Think of this like gobstones, if you will. But instead of throwing the models out, you are summoned. That's it.

Unknown_14: excellent oh very good points to have yeah there's certainly no sport in playing without some friendly competition miss or not you did it boy to give our new student a bit of a change i didn't realize what it was supposed to be at first and i up the third one honestly

1:54:05
Unknown_14: You'll be the blues just okay natazia motherfucker You think you can steal better than me?

Unknown_04: You think you can cast the stealing spell better than me? Huh motherfucker?

Unknown_04: Let's hurry this up. Come on. Come on, man Well that you could call that an accio motherfucker, oh look at that shit shit

Unknown_04: Oh, that's some nice 50 points you got there, Natazia. That's some nice 50 points, but you know what?

Unknown_04: I think I can do it better than she did.

1:54:43
Unknown_04: Look, now we're both losers, you piece of shit.

Unknown_03: If you land in that fucking blue zone again, we got an issue.

Unknown_03: Yeah, that's what I thought. You keep your space, you keep your space, and I keep mine. You dig? You dig, dog?

Unknown_04: Ah, fuck. I fucked that one up.

1:55:16
Unknown_04: i don't scare i don't scare bitch oh 100 point you she's cheating dude this is okay we can break even here i don't intend to lose oh i have to press four oh i didn't realize you have to tap it again this is

Unknown_05: it's too strong interesting shall we oh i can i can i can rebound he's making things more interesting okay i got you i think we are well past interesting at this point all right i'll say enough chatter focus now you will need it don't mess up this round oh yeah

Unknown_23: Don't fuck up.

1:56:13
Unknown_03: Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Ah, you fucked up. Boo. Boo.

Unknown_04: Okay, I got this.

Unknown_04: I figured out how to do it now. Don't worry. Easy peasy. Pumpkin squeezy.

Unknown_01: Fuck out don't fuck up.

Unknown_04: Ah, no, don't you dare base You do not win you'll cut off my hand now, but let me cast again I should be able to fix it my cast and fight It's right cubes are racist

1:57:08
Unknown_04: wow bitch can you get even a single one that's embarrassing that's that's pitiful i thought i had that just don't knock out your other blue one you win for sure yeah that's what i thought that's what i thought nicely done

Unknown_05: Very good, both of you.

Unknown_27: White man marches along, exactly. White woman, come on now. I don't think there's a gun that you get to shoot Voldemort with.

Unknown_14: Class is dismissed. Gather your things on the way out.

Unknown_04: I am enjoying Hogwarts Legacy so far.

Unknown_01: Good game back there.

Unknown_04: If I was not streaming, I wouldn't be so bothered by the cutscenes.

Unknown_01: Took me weeks to become proficient with Accio. Took weeks for me to get anything right. Yeah, and I just got here today and I kicked your ass, you know. You know what they say down in Slytherin House.

1:58:06
Unknown_04: I won't repeat it in polite company, but you know how it is. That's good to hear.

Unknown_15: It's a lot to take in all at once.

Unknown_01: To put it lightly... i remember how i felt when i first arrived i transferred here from wagadu just before my fourth year my mother received an offer to teach divination here before i knew it we had left uganda and were halfway around uganda i was wrong school in a new country i said nigeria i'm way off nice to meet you bye-bye talking and competing with you and with you ah i think professor ronan wants to talk to you i'm going to make a prediction keep him waiting there are no love interests in this game like they're not going to have any kind of romance options whatsoever even though i guess i mean they're teenagers it would still be kind of creepy it wouldn't be too bad though rebellion i'm gonna say for sure that there's no like there's no romance stuff because that would be too too hard to do without pissing everybody off

1:58:47
Unknown_14: You wanted to speak with me, Professor? I did. I trust your first charms lesson lived up to expectation? Well, an outdoor competition wasn't exactly the lesson I was expecting, sir. What charm is there in the expected? You did well managing to best as gifted a student as Miss Unai. Thank you, Professor. I enjoyed the match. Miss Unai is always a fierce competitor, though I sense that she is a bit distracted of late. now Professor why is there an Iron Maiden in both classrooms why does the charms guy also have an Iron Maiden curriculum do they do they use that regarding a special you know there's poking to your balls like historically they like crush your testicles too they emasculate you rebellion

2:00:09
Unknown_15: Hi.

Unknown_26: Yes.

Unknown_26: I've been fortunate.

Unknown_26: Beginner's luck. William. British people are so silly.

2:00:47
Unknown_26: I have read all seven books, my friend.

Unknown_04: I remember when the seventh book came out. Me and my mom both had a copy and we read through it. I think I was living with her at the time. I think it came out when I was like 18 or 17.

Unknown_04: Collections, I know it's in there so I don't have to... I'm curious about the levels. Let's see.

2:01:22
Unknown_04: Nothing new.

Unknown_10: No, I can't jump over the banner fuck you I'm gonna jump over the banister and Crush my prostate again against the railing and slide down it.

Unknown_04: I should be able to do my goddamn witch Okay Okay, I understand not letting you do that one

2:02:04
Unknown_13: Hell yeah.

Unknown_04: More stolen African masterpieces for the British Museum. I see.

Unknown_04: Hey kitty cat.

Unknown_04: Now this is some gameplay. Um, fun fact. I don't know why I know this, but I know for a fact that there's that Twitter channel, like, can you pet the dog? And in any video game where you can pet the animal, they will tell you that you can or cannot pet the animal.

2:02:43
Unknown_04: That account has mentioned that they will not be commenting on any petting type situation type deals related to this video game as a form of protest. So this experience that we've just had here, troons, they can't have it. And it's important to pet animals in transphobic games to remind people who are gender conscious that they can't have nice things in life. That's a nice cat petting sequence, you might think to yourself. Not that a troon would know. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

2:03:17
Unknown_11: What about the room, Professor?

Unknown_06: I was thinking the same thing, Deek. Perhaps you could help. Oh, excuse, Deek. Ah, there you are.

2:03:52
Unknown_06: I trust your first classes went well?

Unknown_15: They did, Professor.

Unknown_06: I heard as much from Professors Heckert and Ronan. Seems Professor Fig taught you quite a bit during your brief detour near... What was it you said? Some ruins? I'd wager there's a good deal more to your travels here than what you've told me.

Unknown_04: I feel like she should know. I was almost killed. Have you and Professor Fig not discussed my training?

Unknown_06: He continues to be reticent about the details, mentioning only a few spells. Revelio, was it? And Lumos?

2:04:24
Unknown_15: That's correct, Professor.

Unknown_06: I see. Like trying to get a sonnet from a strela. Regardless, you must continue to build upon what you've learned. In that regard, I've asked your professors to help hasten your progress with some extra assignments.

Unknown_15: Oh boy, a magic carpet ride, I can't wait.

Unknown_06: Regarding the trip to Hogsmeade, I mentioned earlier. We've arranged to replace the supplies lost on your way here, including seeds, potion recipes, and spellcrafts.

2:04:57
Unknown_15: Thank you, Professor.

Unknown_06: And Mr. Ollivander will connect you with the perfect wand. You've managed your classes well with a borrowed wand, but you'll find the magic you cast with your own wand to be far superior.

Unknown_15: Hogsmeade.

Unknown_15: I'm eager to get to Hogsmeade.

Unknown_06: Very well. I'd like you to make your first visit to the village with a clasp.

Unknown_15: I'm not putting on my clothes.

Unknown_23: Wait until I find the secret BDSM gear outfit.

Unknown_06: I've noticed you spending time with them.

2:05:42
Unknown_04: Oh boy, do I want the hunky Slytherin boy or do I want the nice African lady? Pick now, chat. Pick now. I'll do a poll. I'll do a poll. Let's do a poll. Who? Natty. Sebastian.

Unknown_04: Come on now, chat. Who we doing? Who's our fine escort for this?

Unknown_04: one votes in and it's sebastian oh no 150 sebastian's that's holy natty is catching up with that extra 100 votes but sebastian's sick oh my god 50 50 at 400 votes i can't believe it the closest poll ever we can't decide they can one one no it's back to 50 i can't even believe it natty has just pulled ahead this is the greatest upset in the history of polling i can't even believe it

2:06:36
Unknown_04: I'll cap it off at about 600 votes, but Sebastian's now four. He's rising. Nope. Back down. Nope. Rising again. I can't look.

Unknown_03: I can't look. I've got so much anxiety. Okay. I think the votes have come in and it's Natty with 53% of the, that is so close.

Unknown_04: That's fucking unbelievable. And Sebastian was ahead the entire time. Okay, fine.

Unknown_04: You know what? I think chat picked... I was wondering why they didn't want the white guy around. But now I know. It's because she is the queen. And she know the way. You know the way.

2:07:11
Unknown_06: You know the way to haunt Snead.

Unknown_04: You know the way to haunt Snead.

Unknown_05: You know the way to haunt Snead.

Unknown_06: A rather unsavory local. Best to avoid him and his associates, including his right-hand sorts, Theophilus Harlow. Once you've finished Professor Ronan's assignment, your friend will meet you at the castle door. No time to waste. The sooner you complete your work, the sooner you can enjoy a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks.

2:07:44
Unknown_04: Okay.

Unknown_04: Okay. Jiggles is out. Let's see. Anything up in here? Ooh.

Unknown_02: Box.

Unknown_04: Speak to Professor Ronin to receive your first assignment. No, what's in the box? I don't get to know what's in the fucking box now because that thing came up. Oh, what a piece of shit.

2:08:23
Unknown_04: I should have read that. I've been making a point to do it.

Unknown_04: Anything else?

Unknown_04: Don't block on that door. Okay, I think I'm done.

Unknown_04: Wait.

Unknown_04: I had options of what to do. What have I got?

Unknown_04: No, I like the murderous gloves more, to be quite honest with you.

2:08:57
Unknown_04: Props to this game for giving you fucking gear without having to buy it.

Unknown_04: Wait, I have to learn Reparo from Ronin first. Okay. I guess we're going to go see Mr. Ronin again.

Unknown_04: right there how convenient ah there you are you have a new spell to teach me professor indeed i do and an exceedingly useful one at that the mending charm rapero fixes things right up makes a broken object good as new in the i want to be honest with the chat it seems as if that the diversity in this game does not bother me as professor we mentioned i am It is definitely like a children's property and all the little kids all over the world want to imagine themselves as witches and wizards.

2:09:41
Unknown_14: And it just doesn't bother me. I think in kid shit, especially like super popular properties like this, you can have Ali and Cho Chang and Nadi from Uganda.

Unknown_05: It doesn't bother me.

Unknown_15: i'll start on the task right away professor it bothers you maybe they should put that in the options a display option all the children in hogwarts are white maybe maybe an option to specifically allow like asian women because i know there's lots of libertarian gamers out there what was i doing collect flying pages

2:10:40
Unknown_04: We're flying pages.

Unknown_04: Oh.

Unknown_04: Oh, so that's how that works. I have to look out for that.

Unknown_04: The gender shit, it's it's way way dumber like okay you want to have black kids and They can't refer to the characters as they or as he or she because someone might be offended like fuck off The no be all right.

2:11:22
Unknown_12: Don't you know who I am? So no be an oak the girl who everyone at school hates for no.

Unknown_15: Oh, oh

Unknown_15: Everyone hates you. Why?

Unknown_12: Because Hogwarts is full of bullies and spoilsports. Maybe it's because your name is Zenobia. That no-talent moon mind. I wanted to make some new friends, and so I brought my collection down to the common room.

Unknown_12: They'll tell you that everyone hates you, but she won't tell you why. Are you familiar with gobstones? Little balls?

2:11:53
Unknown_04: Yeah, I'm fucking better at you than them.

Unknown_12: And if you lose, they spray you with a foul-smelling liquid.

Unknown_04: my uncle played that game with me once gobstones sounds like a fun challenge that's what i tried to tell everyone people can be so cruel just because they're spraying that's why i'm trans now it's their own fault for losing emelda is one of the worst losers ever written no i was in character come on chat come on keep up my gobstones keep up hitting them in very high places all over the school

2:12:34
Unknown_15: Rather an overreaction on their part.

Unknown_12: I'll say. Anyway, I can't work out how to get them back on my own.

Unknown_04: Don't worry, little girl. I'll get your balls for you. I don't think I know the necessary spells yet.

Unknown_12: I need someone, perhaps a selfless and talented fifth year to help me.

Unknown_15: I'll see what I can do.

Unknown_12: I'd appreciate the help. If you do find more gobstones, do come and see me again. I'll be back to playing Snake Pit and Jack Stone by myself in no time.

2:13:08
Unknown_04: Maybe if you were in Hufflepuff, you'd have some friends. Everyone in Hufflepuff is cool and gets along. He doesn't stare at my bulge.

Unknown_04: He said you're a fucking Ravenclaw.

Unknown_15: Who gives a fuck about Ravenclaw?

Unknown_04: I'd better keep an eye on high places around the school for Zenobia's gobstones.

Unknown_24: Oh, that's fine. You're in your nightclothes.

Unknown_23: I'll be on my way. Everyone gets weirded out by it.

Unknown_23: That's funny.

Unknown_23: Fuck off, Al.

2:13:41
Unknown_04: Oh, I have to... I'm like now quested to find her gobstones, I guess. Okay.

Unknown_04: Okay, this is fine.

Unknown_04: Why does it keep putting me out here?

Unknown_04: Look in high places for the gobstones. Is it up here?

Unknown_04: What do they look like? I don't know what I'm looking for, game.

Unknown_04: I see some owls.

2:14:19
Unknown_15: I'd better keep an eye on high places around the school for Zenobia's gobstones. Oh.

Unknown_15: Well, that's one of Zenobia's gobstones. I hardly see what all the fuss is about.

Unknown_02: Hell yeah. Chow!

Unknown_04: Fuse?

Unknown_16: Oh, that's kind of creepy.

Unknown_04: Why am I doing this? Is this a part of the quest line? Whatever. I'll just go get her balls, I guess. Yes, I fucking get it, bro. Come on, though.

2:14:54
Unknown_04: Something went tingling.

Unknown_04: Oh no, it's a ladder. Don't even start the ladder shit again.

2:15:25
Unknown_13: Ew, it's like a decapitated hand.

Unknown_04: Divination is the dumbest of the classes.

Unknown_04: He wants to be a diviner. Oh look at me, I can look in the balls and shit. Very cool.

Unknown_04: Uh deputy has measures of divination Like i stole her note She might not even know that she's been offered this position now because i've stolen her note Where the fuck is this fucking thing? I'm looking Am I even supposed to be up here?

2:16:03
Unknown_04: That is hardly appropriate school attire. Don't you say I can dress how I want to I have a special note because of my gender situation

Unknown_15: I better keep an eye on.

Unknown_04: I didn't need to go up there at all. Okay. Next place. So hustle, hustle.

Unknown_25: Off on another adventure.

Unknown_04: Yes.

Unknown_16: Now it's up here somewhere.

2:16:42
Unknown_04: That's three in nowhere.

Unknown_04: Oh jeez, how the fuck do I get up there?

Unknown_04: Wait, who said I'm sorry? Oh no, I can't... I can't do it.

2:17:17
Unknown_11: Oh look dude I don't know if you've seen my size but I'm obviously packing and I can't be judged for it.

Unknown_27: Damn it's dark in here.

Unknown_27: Ooh money.

Unknown_04: Oh, wait.

2:18:00
Unknown_04: What?

Unknown_04: Do I have to target these?

Unknown_04: No.

Unknown_04: I'm thinking there's like a puzzle. Probably a different spell. There's definitely like an addition puzzle to this.

Unknown_04: But I don't think I have access to it. Yes, my dude. I know. I know what I'm doing.

2:18:31
Unknown_04: Oh, it's back here.

Unknown_04: Alright, I was distracted by the door. In other games, I was like, oh, this fucking thing. Okay, no. One more. Or two more, rather.

Unknown_04: Oh, this is the room with the stairs. Watch out for the dog.

Unknown_04: Wow, this is really high up.

Unknown_04: Fuck.

Unknown_13: Okay.

Unknown_04: I heard a ting.

Unknown_04: What went ting?

2:19:11
Unknown_04: I bet you the arts people had like a blast putting up all the um... What?

Unknown_04: Explain yourself!

Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_04: You said four, but it's like... Okay, fine. You said four, but what does that mean?

Unknown_04: Like, in terms of this door. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to put into it?

2:19:48
Unknown_04: Like, this is... I clearly do not have the spells that are required to, like... Maybe if I do the rebellion thing?

Unknown_04: they clearly want something from me that uh i can't do yet and people are trying i like it like i haven't been indicated how to do that i don't know i'm just saying people are like bugging me saying like how do you not know the answer that it's literally not like a thing shit talk me piece of shit painting motherfucker

Unknown_15: I'd better keep an eye on high places around the school for Zenobia's gobstones.

2:20:28
Unknown_04: I know.

Unknown_04: The gobstones. Look at that armor.

Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_24: My favorite room in the school is the library.

Unknown_12: It's always

Unknown_12: Herbology Hufflepuff proud lineage of herbalists There's the gobstone This quest is great because I'm now like level 20 just because I have now found like every secret in the game Rebellion

2:21:17
Unknown_04: Okay, now there's one more in there. I see it.

Unknown_15: How do I use your thing?

Unknown_04: Oh, I don't have to go here. I can just do it from anywhere. That's right. Okay. Maybe I just do it like this?

Unknown_02: Yes.

2:21:52
Unknown_19: All balls follow.

Unknown_04: Okay.

Unknown_04: um i think that's just like a side quest that i just accidentally got myself railroaded onto because i decided to talk to that girl because she had a thing above her head i hope you've had more luck than i did tracking down my gobstones i had quest markers don't worry i found all your gobstones really i didn't think it was possible however did you do it common sense and basic magic well what a fucking dickhead answer

2:22:26
Unknown_04: Oh, no.

Unknown_04: Oh, I want to see what happens if I click that, but I don't want to say.

Unknown_15: OK, I'm afraid I've decided to keep them. And I'll teach you to stink up your classmates.

Unknown_12: What? You keep my price collection for yourself.

Unknown_04: I can't do it.

Unknown_04: I can't I can't commit to this.

Unknown_04: I'm I'm stealing from a child.

Unknown_23: It's just a joke.

2:23:01
Unknown_12: It's just a joke. Oh, no!

Unknown_04: There's no reason to do that.

Unknown_04: I can't even give it to her! Oh, no!

Unknown_03: I can't, like, change my mind and give it to her.

Unknown_03: I can't.

Unknown_23: I'm sorry. Uh.

Unknown_23: That sucks.

2:23:37
Unknown_04: Reload the save, yeah right. Do I now have the Gobstones as my outfit? Why do I now have a suit and tie? Did I steal her suit and tie too? What is that?

Unknown_04: Six Godstones.

Unknown_04: I have her note. I did I like literally stole her fucking thing Okay, um Sell them for crack that's a good idea. Okay Learn repair. Oh, how did I not do that? Oh, I have to go back. Okay. I did I got like I See you're not stressed

2:24:11
Unknown_03: She just now noticed I don't have clothes on and had a line for it.

Unknown_14: I've traumatized this child.

Unknown_15: I completed the assignments, Professor.

Unknown_14: Marvelous. You clearly know your way around basic charms. Let us give the old mending charm a try then, shall we? Remember to be deliberate in your enunciation and movements. I want to see some... I'm not reloading a scene.

2:24:50
Unknown_04: We gotta move on.

Unknown_14: Yes, sir. I've just traumatized a child, Professor Roman.

Unknown_04: Just like you taught me to do.

Unknown_04: With the old Exposa Patronus.

2:25:25
Unknown_04: and then the broken object, ok cool ok, I'm done

Unknown_04: weird because i don't i've already looked through everything it kind of bugs me that it won't go away quest hogs need um okay and then after this i'm probably gonna have another 30 minutes to stream so uh after the hogs me thing i'll go to the dueling and i'll kick that kid's ass

2:26:32
Unknown_04: I will just walk. I walk like a fucking muddle.

Unknown_04: I wonder if I get the bad ending now that I stole that girl's gobstones. Do you think at the end Voldemort just fucking, one of those soul-sucking demon monsters just kills me?

Unknown_04: It tries to slurp on my face and I was like, actually you have no soul, you're a fucking weirdo.

2:27:11
Unknown_15: Yeah.

Unknown_15: Do you know how they were?

2:27:59
Unknown_04: Natty means natural. Nappy means uncountable.

Unknown_01: There was a gaffe where a white guy who was like a sports narrator was commentating on a women's basketball league, and he said something like, ain't nothing but a bunch of nappy-headed hoes down there.

Unknown_04: And he didn't realize that he was Hot Mike, so that basically knew his career.

Unknown_04: I mean, to be fair, that is pretty fucking mean. When you're commenting on somebody's sports game, you're just like, wow, all the players are fucking hideous.

2:28:38
Unknown_01: What did she elect to take?

Unknown_04: All right, I was slapping.

Unknown_01: Damn, this is fucking cool again. You can tell they really put the money into, like, just how the game looks. Because it looks like if you're really someone who's just like, I just want to be along for the ride. I love the movies.

Unknown_04: I love the world. I want to be a witch. And then you're like, wow, it's like I'm actually in Harry Potter world. That's definitely what they were going for.

2:29:12
Unknown_01: That's okay. Not every game has to be Space Station 13.

Unknown_01: But I just killed a bunch of flies.

Unknown_04: Can I kill the butterflies? No. No butterfly.

Unknown_01: Look, from the Forbidden Forest, Hippogriffs.

Unknown_04: It's like when you're playing Skyrim and you see the butterfly, you're like, ooh, a butterfly.

Unknown_01: And you get butterfly wings in your inventory.

2:29:48
Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_07: Do you think Poppy's already seen the Hippogriffs?

Unknown_04: I'm not putting clothes on. This is how the game was meant to be played. Everyone has to see my bulge, my feminine bulge.

Unknown_01: There's a Forbidden Forest on the left. It's off-limits to students, as the name implies. why is it off limits the professors claim it is too dangerous i think that calling it forbidden only makes it more alluring yeah ah there's hogsmeade over there call it the gay forest where all the all the gay students go to blow each other you don't want to go there it sucks all of my time it's covered in my computer crash it sent us once before today

2:30:30
Unknown_04: It just went completely black for no reason. And then I rebooted it, and it worked fine. And now I did it again, but this time... Um... It's, uh... OBS says that NVIDIA doesn't work at all. I mean, I've never had this error before, and I'm on Windows.

Unknown_04: Um... So, wow, that sucks. I don't know what I can do.

Unknown_19: Um...

Unknown_19: because if my nvidia drivers are crashed they can't play the game because it's not going to work i think the issue might be power supply i think that my um the power of this building does not support the power supply that i have for my computer i'm gonna have to get a um because i understand that the european voltages are lower i think so if it doesn't work i'm gonna have to get like a backup power supply that can support the voltage i think i think that's how that works

2:31:20
Unknown_04: Yes, I'm very sorry for stealing a little girl's toys. This is obviously direct instant karma for doing that. And I have no other explanation for what's happened.

Unknown_04: I don't know how else my video drivers can literally uninstall themselves on the fly like this.

Unknown_04: Let's try to boot up the game, and if that does not work, then I'm done. If it does, then I'll play for about 30 more minutes. But let's see. I'm curious if my NVIDIA drivers are legit just fucking broken.

Unknown_04: I'm curious if I've lost my save state.

2:31:57
Unknown_19: Okay, the game starts.

Unknown_19: Let's see what my GPU is doing.

Unknown_19: Let's see. I am at a hundred percent CPU for some reason.

Unknown_04: Formant GPU.

Unknown_04: Okay. My Nvidia shows up and it's doing work as the game starts. That makes sense. Do the game capture and see if that works.

2:32:31
Unknown_04: does not oh there it is can i do 60 frames per second without using nvidia doing 60 frames per second just fine i'm getting 140. hey i think it's saved boys and girls we're going to be using open source software to encode this stream

Unknown_04: Let's see, 60 frames per second, silky smooth.

Unknown_01: 180 in the game? Seems fine to me. Wonderful. Okay. We will... It's a little bit jerky, you say?

Unknown_04: No, it seems fine. It seems fine.

Unknown_04: It's not fine?

2:33:24
Unknown_04: um is it really bit is it really bad really oh you know why because i've set bit rate for 600 kilobits per second instead of um 6 000 which is what it needs to be set latency ultra low how about this this better

Unknown_04: good now okay I think when you increase the bitrate from 600 to 6000 when you're doing 60 frames per second everything's fine I think everything's fine okay you're fire wonderful is it still bad

2:34:22
Unknown_04: Yeah, there's butt flaps.

Unknown_04: It's still bad, they say. What happens if I try to switch the compression over to the other one? No, I can't do that. I don't know. I think that's all I can do.

Unknown_04: It's good enough.

Unknown_04: I can't read chat. Is it really that bad? Oh, it is pretty fucking awful, isn't it?

Unknown_04: What if I refresh it? Is it fine?

2:34:55
Unknown_21: Do you realize what you're wearing?

Unknown_04: Yes. It's intentional. It's called fashion.

Unknown_01: Got a peek at the prefect's bathroom last year. It runs its way.

Unknown_04: Okay, in the sake of time, this wonderful streaming quality, which you see before you, will be what you receive until the end of the game.

Unknown_04: Or at least until the end of this segment. It's finally a trauma. Okay, wonderful. Let us continue where we left off. Look out!

2:35:29
Unknown_04: I can get her to stop talking by shooting my wand.

Unknown_01: I cannot tell you how nice it is to be a Christian after being cooped up in ancient ruins. Grave mistake to take it as an elective class. Believe me. I believe you. Though I suppose you would not really call it elective when your mother was the one who elected that you take it.

2:36:06
Unknown_04: Okay, it works fine now.

Unknown_01: Hogsmeade is beautiful this time of year. Everyone will tell you to visit at Christmas, but that's one of the few times of year... I like how I constantly have my wand out, like I'm... Not much for the cold, are you?

Unknown_04: Everybody else is just walking around casually, and I'm armed. I'm ready to fly off the fucking handle at a moment's notice.

Unknown_04: I'm walking around in a bad part of London, if you know what I mean.

Unknown_01: Oh, wait, over here.

Unknown_01: I often spot lacewing flies in this area.

2:36:40
Unknown_04: Oh, what's so special about them?

Unknown_01: They are interesting to look at. I have to wait for her to finish that statement. You can also use them in potion making.

Unknown_04: That guy already did this and the game knows that. It does. I'm just restarting the quest over.

Unknown_04: Look!

Unknown_01: From the Forbidden Forest. Hippogriffs.

Unknown_01: I wonder if something startled them. I heard rumors that Hippogriffs had been spotted nearby. Do you think Poppy's already seen the Hippogriffs?

2:37:13
Unknown_15: Absolutely.

Unknown_01: That's the Forbidden Forest on the left. It's off-limits to students, as their name implies. Why is it off-limits?

Unknown_01: It'd be funny if you could like switch weapons. I'm imagining like GTA where you just get like a AK-47 or RPG in your hands.

Unknown_01: I would spend all of my time exploring if I could.

2:37:51
Unknown_15: I confess, I was surprised when Professor Weasley mentioned that you knew the area, since you're relatively new here.

Unknown_01: She said that?

Unknown_01: She knows more about me than I have thought. I will say, while I certainly learn a great deal in class, much can be gleaned outside of the castle walls.

Unknown_01: My parents were thrilled to hear that Black Widow.

Unknown_04: If I see the Daedia again, I will give her the fucking gobstones. I will apologize profusely. I will ask her to lift her fucking curse from me.

2:38:29
Unknown_15: Her gypsy curse.

Unknown_01: I want rock. Give me the rock. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown_01: I got the rocks.

Unknown_04: Come on, bitch. We gotta go. We got shit to do. I'm not abandoning.

Unknown_23: Move! Schnell! Schnell!

2:39:14
Unknown_01: Mr. Moon, he is the Hogwarts caretaker. Looks a bit worse for work.

Unknown_04: I haven't heard that name in a long time.

Unknown_01: Have you met our new fifth year?

Unknown_17: Pleasure. You might want to turn back, Miss Oni. Turn and run. Is everything all right, sir?

Unknown_03: Oh, no, I'm a drunk and I'm Asian. How can this be? How can this be? How far I've fallen.

Unknown_17: Demi, guys, ugly and airy and terrifying.

Unknown_09: His name is moon cuz he's Korean that's why I Think he had too much fun in the village

2:39:58
Unknown_04: Roland gave me a shout-out, that's right.

Unknown_01: Roland specifically asked, look, you gotta put a moon in this game.

Unknown_04: And I'm like, moon? What kind of fucking name is that? So I looked it up, and it's Asian.

Unknown_01: But it's a direct reference to me, believe it or not. Fuck goblins. Ooh, pigeons.

Unknown_04: No, don't fly away.

Unknown_15: Sometimes it seems all roads lead to Hogsmeade.

2:40:31
Unknown_07: Why?

Unknown_01: And here we are. You've never been here before, you fucking weirdo.

Unknown_01: The Three Broomsticks is the place for butterbeer. And you can get any sweets you can imagine at Honeydukes. I could not choose a favorite shop here. It changes with every visit. I can tell you that you are certain to find everything you need in Hogsmeade.

Unknown_04: I didn't pick Moony's last name. It's my dad's name.

Unknown_01: Professor Weasley said that you need to get potion recipes, spellcrafts, some seeds, and... A new wand? Of course! You will enjoy, Mr. Ollivander, and I am keen to see what you will do with a wand of your own. I've already got one. You should be able to collect everything you need and still have time to explore a little as well. Experience hogsmeat at your own pace. We can meet up in the town circle when you are finished.

2:41:09
Unknown_04: Okay, let's do the wand.

Unknown_01: Wait, hold up.

Unknown_04: I know what the map is, bro. I know what the map is. Come on.

Unknown_04: But before I do that, I gotta pet the kitty cat. No, get out of my way. I'm petting the cat.

2:41:41
Unknown_04: The game's quality looks like it's way different. I don't know if that's, like, me or what. It could be because there's no Nvidia drivers or something. I am kind of... Fuck it, I'll check it on my own time.

Unknown_04: It's fine for what it is.

Unknown_04: Uh... Zonko's.

Unknown_04: I'm looking for Ollivander, though. Hairdressing Salon.

2:42:16
Unknown_04: Ollivander's right there.

Unknown_04: Surprise motherfucker Hello, I need a stick I'll be right with ah, it's you. Um Just a moment, please

Unknown_04: Don't mind me, I'm just going to adjust my junk while I wait.

Unknown_11: For a new wand, yes. It's about time. Yes, about time. Well, you're our new fifth year student, are you not? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you are. Gerbold Ollivanders, the name. But of course, you'll have heard of the Ollivanders, I'm sure. Finest wand makers in the world. It's a pleasure to meet you, truly. Now, come with me. Let's find you the perfect wand, shall we? I'm gonna make a prediction.

2:42:50
Unknown_04: He's gonna go through like three ones exactly like they do in the movie There's like mishaps Yeah, impressive give this one a try Well, go ahead swish

2:43:39
Unknown_04: No, Ollivander, I don't like this dilator. It's too big. It hurts my girl pocket.

Unknown_04: Ah, what a disaster.

Unknown_11: It's going to be the third one.

Unknown_04: It's going to be the third one they use. It has to be.

Unknown_04: 13 and 3-4. Oh my god. That's obscene. That's a novelty. Nobody can use a wand that big.

2:44:13
Unknown_11: That's something you give as like a joke gift.

Unknown_04: Like a little knobbly and shit. Nobody can use this wand.

Unknown_11: This is proving to be trickier than I had anticipated. How perplexing.

Unknown_04: I wonder if this next one's going to be it, chat.

Unknown_11: Ah, there you are.

2:44:49
Unknown_03: That was the joke one. Isn't that one of those ones up there at the cobwebs?

Unknown_11: I think you might be the one. Here, take it.

Unknown_04: Oh, I get to design it. Wow. Okay. Nevermind. You can do the, the, the fun movie thing if you want. That's cool.

Unknown_04: Um, Oh, how intriguing.

2:45:23
Unknown_04: I get three colors.

Unknown_04: I'm having such a magical day now. Cause I get to design. I love this. I love, I get to design the one indeed.

Unknown_04: I'm not, they got me. I'm so engrossed in the magic of the wizarding world now because I get to design the horn.

Unknown_04: I don't like that.

Unknown_04: Not sure about the spiral. I like that this is like a unicorn horn.

2:45:54
Unknown_04: What kind of one would Jim Sterling want though? That's the question. A straight classic black one, the unicorn horn or the knobbly wood.

Unknown_04: notch for your pleasure that's true notch for your pleasure go with the dark brown what kind of ah sweet curious indeed it doesn't change the color at all obviously i want the biggest possible one

2:46:30
Unknown_04: flexibility i want this to be floppy quite beneath yeah yeah boy now we're talking i want a giant floppy one um and what what kind of what i need something that sounds lewd curious indeed apple dogwood i don't know what that looks like but we're sticking with dogwood i'm gonna be honest with you now

Unknown_04: and a unicorn unicorn here yeah this is the one that jim sterling is most to be quite quite honest and faithful to its owner what do you think extraordinary

Unknown_11: Another wand, another beginning of a bright and magical future.

2:47:30
Unknown_03: Yeah, he got an AGP smirk out of that one.

Unknown_15: How did that feel? Good. Different. I sensed a sort of surge of some kind. I felt a tingling in my pantalones.

Unknown_11: The incarnation seemed particularly powerful. The right wand will learn from you, just as you learn from it. I'm eager to try it out. Indeed. Treat it well, and you shall find no more dependable a wand than one with a unicorn hair core. And the bond between you and your wand should only grow stronger. Do not be surprised at your new wand's ability to perceive your intentions, particularly in a moment of need. That sounds wonderful, Mr. Ollivander. I'll let you get to it. Do come and see me again if ever I can be of further assistance.

2:48:09
Unknown_11: Okay, let's see.

Unknown_04: Let's test this bad boy out.

Unknown_04: Ooh, free money.

Unknown_04: I've already seen some fucking floppy It doesn't seem that floppy why is my stick so stiff? I got the floppy one. God damn it Doesn't seem that floppy at all seems like a piece of stick Yeah, I got fucking... I got fucking scammed by Ollivander. Okay, where's the hat store? This is the last thing I'm doing. I have to call it quits, unfortunately. I'll do the, um... Hats. Wizard of Gear. Okay, here we go.

2:48:42
Unknown_04: Get that fucking Chetam thing. Getting snazzy with it. Okay.

2:49:21
Unknown_17: Dashing pajamas you didn't buy those I love that everyone shits on my pants and tea Okay, tell me some pantalones sir Tell me your pants

Unknown_13: Rebellion.

Unknown_04: Why can't I buy pants?

Unknown_04: Take a scope, type a dark detector, or spend detect someone untrustworthy nearby. Give me this.

Unknown_13: Accio. Repairer.

Unknown_04: Can I buy your pants?

Unknown_04: Never quite got the hang of that one. Why can't I buy pants?

2:50:13
Unknown_04: Hmm.

Unknown_04: I will take all your money and I will leave them. Actually, I'll drink some more tea. Okay, fine. I guess I can't buy any fucking pants then. I guess I have to do all the objectives first and then they'll let me buy some pants.

Unknown_04: Okay. Okay, fine. I'll do that.

Unknown_04: We'll bust through this. We'll get it done.

2:50:53
Unknown_04: I want to buy pants before, or my hat. Actually, the hat's more important than the pants, to be quite honest with you.

Unknown_16: How the fuck do I get up there?

Unknown_00: No, give me that thing.

Unknown_15: Pardon me, sir. I'm here for the spellcrafts Professor Weasley ordered.

2:51:27
Unknown_00: Matilda's student.

Unknown_00: I thought I might be seeing you soon.

Unknown_00: I am the proprietor here, Thomas Brown. I take it you've had a conjuring lesson then?

Unknown_15: I'm afraid I haven't yet, sir.

Unknown_00: Ah, but you will soon enough. It is magic at its purest.

Unknown_04: Can I have your hat? This may be an unusual request from a guest, but I think that your hat would complete my steampunk persona.

Unknown_00: But that is where my spellcrafts come in. Stay the course and you could soon impress even Professor Weasley.

2:52:03
Unknown_15: That's certainly something to aspire to, Mr. Brown. I look forward to that day.

Unknown_04: No, I don't sound like a robot.

Unknown_00: I sound like I'm in the process of transitioning to a beautiful woman. I'm incredibly useful for conjuring unique items like custom pieces of furniture or decoration. But I shall let Professor Weasley do the teaching. Um...

2:52:44
Unknown_00: Oh, it's free. Nothing like finding just... If you're interested, feel free to take a look around at the rest of my inventory.

Unknown_00: Bro, I don't get no fucking money. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Rebellion. Give me all the free shit. Dressed to impress, I see.

Unknown_04: Okay. Potions now.

Unknown_04: I love how every character in the game has a line to make fun of the fact that I'm naked.

2:53:22
Unknown_27: Uh... Oceant.

Unknown_08: Welcome to Jay Pippin's Po- Sorry dude, I gotta get my thing.

Unknown_04: Pippin's Potions. Pippin's Pippin- Pippa Potions. Pippa Potions.

Unknown_15: Pardon me, sir.

Unknown_08: Oh, thank goodness. When I heard the bell, I thought you were Miss Lawang. Not that she deigns to come here. Don't believe I've seen your face here before, either. It's my first time in Hogsmeade, actually. Is it really? Well, Parry Pippin at your service. And this is Jay Pippin's potions. Potions for all ailments. You'll have read it on the sign, of course, but Grandfather always made me say it in full. How may I help you today?

2:53:54
Unknown_15: Professor Weasley sent me to collect some recipes. I'm new at all. I need something special. Sometimes I don't feel so feminine, you know what I mean?

2:54:29
Unknown_04: I need a little bit of hot meal.

Unknown_08: You'd want your potion supplies. Is it not the most fascinating art, potion-making? Rivals anything you can do with a wand, I've always said. Are potions really that versatile? They may not be as showy as spellwork, but make no mistake, they are just as powerful. They can heal, destroy, protect. You'll discover all of this soon enough. As it's your first time in, I should mention that it's not just potion recipes I sell. I also offer ready-made drafts for all manner of uses. And I unveil new ones from time to time. Pop in when you can so you don't miss out on anything. But for now, let's get you those recipes, shall we? What can I do for you today?

2:55:03
Unknown_04: Do you have any funny hats?

Unknown_08: A wise decision.

Unknown_04: Feel free to take a look at the rest of my inventory.

Unknown_08: Or come back another time if you're in a rush today.

Unknown_13: Rebellion. Don't take the money.

Unknown_08: I see a page. Hey, now.

2:55:36
Unknown_04: Don't be snarky.

Unknown_04: uh okay one more what am i doing here why can i not see the quest guide in the map menu where i need to go i'm already on my way wonderful well hello there pardon me sir i'm here for the seeds professor weasley arranged for me to collect

2:56:12
Unknown_18: Oh, the dittany for the new fifth year. I take it that's you then. Merlin's beard. Starting Hogwarts is a fifth year. You must be positively reeling from it all.

Unknown_15: Not at all. I'm choosing to see it all as one big adventure.

Unknown_11: Well, bravo. Not everyone has the temperament to take things as they come.

Unknown_18: Name's Timothy Teasdale, by the way, and this is my shop, the Magic Neap. I keep the cart out here because I like a good chat.

Unknown_11: Can't very well be in the thick of things if I'm heading away inside now, can I? I suppose not.

2:56:45
Unknown_18: In addition to seeds, I have plenty of plants. Grow everything meself. Me speciality is potion ingredients. Even Pippin purchases from me. But what say we get you a packet of dipney seeds?

Unknown_05: I swept it up, don't you worry.

Unknown_18: You're after something fresh.

Unknown_18: Do have a look around. Plenty of ingredients to pique your interest, I'd wager.

Unknown_27: Rebellion. Well, that's everything. I had to go and find Natty.

2:57:17
Unknown_04: No, I want my pants.

Unknown_04: I swear to god, these pants are like 10 million dollars each. I'm gonna be so fucking pissed off. I'm gonna be unreal how pissed off I am.

Unknown_16: Fuck you.

Unknown_04: Piece of shit.

Unknown_04: Why is this tree interactable?

2:57:49
Unknown_04: Really?

Unknown_04: Secret hidden shrubbery, then again.

Unknown_17: Thou may your hats. You didn't buy those here, did you?

Unknown_04: Why can I not buy? I don't understand. Okay, maybe if I talk to her, then I can buy. If I can't buy a fucking hat while I'm here.

2:58:22
Unknown_15: I have everything. I see what you meant about not being able to pick a favorite shop.

Unknown_01: We should walk around a bit more. Perhaps today is the day I finally pick one.

Unknown_04: I guess I'm not buying a fucking hat.

2:58:56
Unknown_04: This guy would be dead.

Unknown_04: Like he's... Like he'd be standing in this... Like he's standing in a... Like a...

Unknown_04: Marketplace full of wizards early. Oh my god So, I guess I'm not getting a hat And that's I don't have an option but to complete this All right tend to die motherfucker Okay, that's what happens in unison I No, I don't want to repair him.

2:59:40
Unknown_16: No, get out of there!

Unknown_02: Ow. Holy shit. I'm about to die.

Unknown_15: what was that i was trying to beat him in his own game ow oh my god i'm getting dark stoles what

3:00:38
Unknown_23: It's not fair. You can't just beat the fuck out of the black girl like that.

3:01:15
Unknown_09: I think I'm fucking up.

Unknown_04: I think there's a way for me to, like, carry, but I'm not pressing the right button. Yeah, that... I keep... I'm gonna get it right. Hold up.

Unknown_04: Ah, damn it. I think... Okay, next one should also be a Q. No. Not a Q. Nice.

Unknown_04: why am i so bad i'm not i'm invoking that why is my wand not floppy my wand should be flopping around holy he's dead oh no my jammies are all dirty goodness a second troll did you two take on a fully grown troll by yourselves i suppose so it's all a bit of a blur to be honest

3:02:15
Unknown_21: Merlin's beard. Are you all right?

Unknown_15: We are and we were glad to help I'd say help is a bit of an understatement nerve like that The makings of an aura if you are yeah, nice try lady.

Unknown_04: Stop trying to groom me I'm not gonna join your fucking fed-ups the two of you wouldn't mind you're so radicalized. Hey, they were should become an aura singer officer singer and Thank you again

Unknown_04: Okay, repair the damage.

3:02:55
Unknown_04: He wants to sell me a hat.

Unknown_04: Can you sell me a hat now? I don't even know what I'm doing. Sell me a hat. Yes, you want to sell me a hat.

Unknown_04: He invites me inside, and then nothing happens. Am I supposed to be repairing stuff? Like, she wants to talk to him, but then I'm supposed to be repairing stuff, and they're just gonna, like, stand off-screen.

3:03:34
Unknown_04: Ah, you would be dead. Those rocks just fucking smashed upside my head. Look at this. I'm dead. These things are, like, swirling around a million miles a second.

Unknown_04: I can't believe they're making me sweep it up on my day off.

Unknown_15: Lucky they didn't do more damage.

Unknown_13: Repairer.

Unknown_13: Rebellion. Good thing I missed it.

3:04:13
Unknown_04: A Xur Niffler scarf? I've always wanted to skin a Niffler and wear his scarf.

Unknown_01: We were just talking about you.

Unknown_09: Ooh, finally. Hello, sir. I don't believe we've met. Allow me to introduce myself. Augustus Hill. Clothier extraordinaire. Augustus. We have a brother. Pants.

3:04:53
Unknown_17: Pants.

Unknown_09: I suspect this won't be your last dangerous encounter. I'd like to give you one such set of robes. In thanks for what you did today.

Unknown_04: Nice try, but I'm not putting on any clothes. Thank you, Mr. Hill.

Unknown_15: That's very generous of you.

Unknown_04: Just trying to hide my feminine body.

Unknown_15: Now, let's try this on for size, shall we?

Unknown_09: Plenty for your perusal today. Take your time.

Unknown_04: Okay, this is free.

Unknown_17: You won't be disappointed.

3:05:31
Unknown_04: they're trying to get me to put clothes on you're not gonna do it yeah i know oh they're making oh okay i yeah i see how it is you're making me put on the clothes dashing pajamas you didn't buy those here did you actually as a matter of fact i did okay let's look at this look at the stats offense this

Unknown_04: I would just want a nice, there's no like steampunk cat though. And that's what I want.

Unknown_17: I'd say that looks as if it was me.

Unknown_04: Oh man. That's pretty James Stefani. If I do say so myself, what about this one?

Unknown_04: I can't afford that one.

Unknown_04: I'm like James Stefani.

3:06:30
Unknown_17: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you.

Unknown_04: Buy the mask?

Unknown_04: I'm not feeling the mask, to be honest with you.

Unknown_09: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you.

Unknown_04: That's pretty funny. I have to be level 6 to wear that, though. I don't want this stupid hat.

Unknown_04: What the hat?

Unknown_17: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you.

Unknown_04: It's not a top hat, though. I want a top hat. I'm just not feeling it.

3:07:14
Unknown_17: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you.

Unknown_04: Yes, I know. You've told me this before, to be honest.

Unknown_04: I can't afford the mask.

Unknown_04: Okay. I think, because I do not have access to a top hat, I am going to simply take off this robe and be done with this.

Unknown_01: Shall we head to the three broomsticks?

Unknown_15: Sounds like a good idea.

Unknown_01: Wonderful. Just down this way, then.

3:07:48
Unknown_04: Okay, let's fix this travesty that has been done to me.

Unknown_04: This beroebing, which I did not consent to. And how do I save?

Unknown_09: Save.

Unknown_09: Okay. Alright.

Unknown_04: Well, I will see you guys tomorrow. I'll stream for another three hours. I'll stream this until it's out for everybody, not just people who spent extra money to trigger the libs and own the libs.

Unknown_04: I hope you have enjoyed this. I will hopefully have a computer that works for that one. We'll see how it goes. Let me read the super chats real quick.

3:08:24
Unknown_04: Uh, oh my fucking God, there have been six. Oh, I know. Nevermind. I had the filters off. I was like, there's no fucking way I can read all these.

Unknown_19: Um,

Unknown_19: uh jack tucson says for 10 try to make this scary amazon try to make a scary amazon black laser character i did not i went with the trune i think it was a much better choice in retrospect the people who voted for the trune knew what they were doing goblin for one says josh i'm going to the gas chamber of secrets too late i did i almost got executed by a goblin assassin

3:09:07
Unknown_04: Nonymous for 20 says, you'll never be a real wizard. You have no wand. You have no orb. You have no robes. Sure, I don't have any of those things. I do have a wand, but it's not as floppy as I'd like. You're an unenlightened apprentice twisted by potions and transmutation to a crude mockery of the Academy's perfection.

Unknown_27: Thank you, Nonymous.

Unknown_04: Goliadante for five says the goblin is immunized from all magic. One may cast stupefy, expeller MS, reducto, even Avada Kedavra. It all runs off him like water off a raincoat. I call him a goblin and watch as he recoils. I imagine it continues. Pope Urban for one says, if I donate in the middle of the week, does that super chat just get lost, or will you read them come Friday? I read them at the end of the stream, my friend. Nones for two says, you will never be a Hufflepuff. You have no loyalty. You have no friendship. You have no determination. You are a Slytherin twisted by a hat and a juice potion to a mockery of nature's perfection. I think I'm very Hufflepuff. I eat all the food in the dormitory, and that's what you need to be.

3:09:40
Unknown_04: Near for one says, Cap Flipendo, nerd. I think that is like jumping off a building. Flip. I think that's what he's implying. I assume I assume that they take

3:10:31
Unknown_04: yeah i mean look okay listen jk rowling's universe is not well thought out it's just like when you hit when it hits your face you're like that's really cool it would be really cool to be a wizard like the thing is about these classes is that they're like so whimsical like sure they're in school but they're not studying math they're studying potions and like magic and shit and it's like amazing and it's just supposed to be like a complete escape from reality where there's no responsibility and like chores are taken care of and class is magic and shit like that it's not supposed to be like a tolkien thing where everything makes sense

Unknown_04: rabo rabbi Herschel Snyderman Berg black Sneed for 15 says Ethel's is streaming Hogwarts legacy right now You have more time more than three times the viewers that he does this true Twitter twitch Falls He's streaming I don't see it is it on you like YouTube I

3:11:42
Unknown_19: how one left hogwarts legacy one death equals one star challenge and he's not playing hogwarts legacy he's playing a fragile white womanhood he's playing that game where you're on a raft i think it's just called raft yeah he's not actually playing hogwarts legacy he's playing um raft and listening to vouch gay i do have more viewers than him though

Unknown_04: okay uh thanks for watching i appreciate the support i appreciate uh your time um i will play this and then we'll be audi and i'll see you tomorrow at six not seven this time