0:00:08 Unknown_03: This is pretty fucking comfy. I would live here. Oh shit, I'm breaking shit. Can I get an apple? Unknown_03: I can eat apples. Unknown_24: What's this? Unknown_24: Oh, uncle, this doesn't sound like you. Something's wrong. Oh, hello there. Unknown_08: I am pretty tall for a woman. You're right. Unknown_24: Pleasure to meet you. Unknown_08: Nice to meet you, too. Is everything all right? Unknown_24: Oh, yes. I'm just a bit distracted. Unknown_08: Hey, I'm your bunkmate. 0:00:41 Unknown_03: We're going to be sleeping together. I can't wait to have a sleepover. I want to tell stories about boys with you. Unknown_08: Day 99 of being a witch. 0:01:21 Unknown_08: Thank you, Adelaide. Be seeing you. Unknown_24: Of course. And good luck. Unknown_27: What? What is this? I picked Hufflepuff. I picked Hufflepuff. What is this? Unknown_03: I wanted to be in a dark room. I would have picked Ravenclaw. Unknown_23: I can't quite reach. Unknown_23: Come on. You went that way. Unknown_23: Hope they can catch him. Big castle for a student to get lost in, let alone a cat. 0:01:56 Unknown_23: I'm sure you'll find your way, all right? I mean, it can be a bit overwhelming at first. Unknown_03: Okay, I need you to put on your silliest voice possible for this character. Nice to meet you. Unknown_08: Was that your cat? Unknown_23: No. One of the first years, I think. Don't have any pets of my own, unfortunately. My mother doesn't think too highly of them. Especially magical ones. Unknown_08: i'm sorry to hear that i think magical beasts are incredible i want an animal coming to hogwarts nifflers glum bumbles bow truckles i thought they were only pictures in books before oh i should have picked slytherin for the more comfortable dormitory you're right anyway i better go make sure the first year's caught that cat don't want them to be late on their first day 0:02:53 Unknown_08: Nice meeting you, Arthur. And good luck finding that cat. Thank you. Unknown_03: Nifflers. You know, watch out for those Nifflers, man. They're fucking vicious. Unknown_03: You're alone in, like, one of the alleys. One of the many long, lonely hallways of Hogwarts. And you get cornered by a Niffler. You might as well just fucking kill yourself right there. Unknown_03: Sorry, Bill Gates. I'm not taking the vaccine. Just don't want to. No specific reason. Ooh, cake. I'm... Unknown_03: damn that's like three can i get another one i'm jim sterling i deserve oh i can't i can't take just stuff myself full of cake that's good isn't it get on my way sorry girls moving through 0:03:54 Unknown_03: am i doing introduce yourself introduce yourself to lenora i just did didn't i there you are there you are oh hello Unknown_19: She's awfully typical for this woman. Unknown_08: Is that your owl? Unknown_19: I don't know who she is. Likely one of the Hufflepuffs around here. Owls choose their own company anyway. Wait, you're the new fifth year. Unknown_19: Quite the dramatic entrance you made. Can't imagine wanting to call attention to yourself. Unknown_03: I bet you she cooks good, chat. Don't bully her. Unknown_19: Everyone will be watching to see how much you already know. Unknown_08: I'm really not worried. I'm sure I'll be fine. Unknown_19: nevertheless it is rather unusual you must feel terribly out of place of course what are you trying to say about that i've been in just fine thank you very much but sometimes i think i should have been a ravenclaw I've rather a searing wit. 0:04:56 Unknown_19: At least people have always told me so. I'm Lenora, by the way. Unknown_02: I bet you sear a mean steak, too, lady. Unknown_19: Well, mustn't keep you. You've such a lot to do. Unknown_08: Do you really think you should have been in Ravenclaw? Unknown_19: Well, my brothers were. They both work in ministry now. Unknown_08: Oh, feds. Unknown_19: Sorry, babe. Unknown_03: No feds. No family of feds. You know the rules. Unknown_19: Determination, valor, daring. The old sorting hat was spoiled for choice with me. 0:05:32 Unknown_06: Getting out of here. Or you turn me into the Hogwarts IRS or whatever the fuck, bitch. Unknown_24: Professor Weasley. Good morning. I trust you're ready for your first day at Hogwarts? Unknown_08: I've been dreaming of this day for a long time. Can't believe I'm here. Unknown_20: Well, you are here. Make the most of it. You only have one first day at Hogwarts. Now, in light of your unique situation, joining us as a fifth year... Their insistence that the main character is special just makes it sound extremely bigoted. 0:06:11 Unknown_03: Like, either the main character is mentally handicapped and this is like a special ed class or they're trans and they have to be taken care of especially. Unknown_20: They will determine what type of career you can have when you leave here. After much discussion with the Headmaster and the Department of Magical Education at the Ministry, we've devised something extraordinary to ensure your success. Unknown_03: Damn dude, they put all that effort into making them for you and you just splayed that shit all over the fucking place. 0:06:55 Unknown_08: What is it? Unknown_20: It is a wizard's field guide. It will help you to keep track of what you are learning so that you master all that's expected of a fifth year. Unknown_20: You would be wise to take full advantage of this exceptionally valuable resource. Unknown_03: This is the thing that pops up when you press the H key. It's very special. We'll explain why you don't have to try very hard to do things. Unknown_20: Perhaps seeing it in action will answer any questions you may have. Walk with me and we shall put it to the test. 0:07:26 Unknown_03: Okay. Unknown_03: I'll push you along there so we can move a little bit faster now. Lumos, this way. Unknown_20: Cradago! 0:08:14 Unknown_05: uh house elf recipe book rumored to contain some of helga hufflepuff's original creations this book holds a collection of hogwarts students favorite recipes over the centuries some dishes like pickled original plums are likely an acquired taste oh wow okay Unknown_20: Okay, I got you. Unknown_03: Was I supposed to level that thing up? It looked like I had a thing. Oh, I had a gear. Oh my God. Unknown_03: I can put on black gloves. So when I creep around at night and make it gold. 0:09:13 Unknown_03: awesome wait i need a top hat properly hey girls i'm just rooting around 0:09:50 Unknown_26: Don't mind my broad shoulders. Oh my god, there is a bulge. Oh my god. Oh my god. 0:10:26 Unknown_03: It's like the library Oh And here we are quite the time saver these stairs lead directly to central hall Unknown_09: You can get almost anywhere in the castle quickly from Central Hall. Unknown_26: The hunch? Unknown_20: Always something happening here. It's the heart of the Hive. Our King's Cross Station, so to speak. Unknown_03: This is fucking cool. They did a really good job with the interior. That should be all for now. Unknown_20: You'll be expected to attend both Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts classes today. And I'd like to be sure you get to Hogsmeade as soon as possible to replace the supplies you lost on the way here. 0:11:21 Unknown_08: Thank you, Professor Weasley. Unknown_20: A lot to absorb on your first day, and you have much to learn. Happily, your professors have agreed to create additional assignments for you outside of class. You'll be up to speed in no time. Judging by your adept use of Revelio earlier, I'd say professors... You can't miss Hogsmeade. Unknown_03: Look for the sign that says Hogsmeade, formerly Sneeze. Unknown_20: Sign is a little joke. ...specifically about what happened after that awful dragon attack. My suspicion is that there's more to the story than a search for belongings and an extended trip up to the castle. 0:11:58 Unknown_08: We did take a bit of a detour on the way here. Ended up exploring some ruins and... I shouldn't say more. Unknown_20: Exploring ruins? Well, I presume Professor Fig has his reasons for keeping the details to himself for now. Unknown_20: speak of the devil speak of the devil there he is hi hello i like to stand around here in the central station provided our new fifth year with a solid foundation in the basics of spell casting ah i'm afraid i can't take all the credit there professor they've a rare day aptitude well i'm just glad you both are right they had to re-record all these lines when they had to go through control f all the lines and try to find the one that said he or she rather unfortunately it would seem that it chose us 0:12:47 Unknown_20: Very well. Enough chit-chat. I need to get to class myself. Might I rely on you, Professor Fig, to explain the details of the field guide's map? Unknown_03: Of course. Unknown_20: Thank you. Unknown_03: They're a prostate. Unknown_20: Good luck today. And remember to use your field guide. It will be invaluable to you. And invaluable to me, as I'll be using it to keep up to date on your progress. Unknown_08: Yes, Professor. Oh, so it's like a Google phone. Come find me in my classroom after you've attended both classes today, and I'll explain more about those assignments I mentioned. 0:13:45 Unknown_20: And we'll see if we can't get you to Hogsmeade for those supplies. Unknown_03: Okay, what am I doing? Talk to Professor... Jesus, fuck! Unknown_06: I wanna leave! It's good to see you, Professor. Unknown_13: And you. I was hoping our paths would cross today before you immersed yourself in studies. Did I hear you and Professor Weasley talking about exploring ruins? Yes. Unknown_08: Yes, sir. But I didn't tell her anything else about our travels here. I will say, I think she suspects we're being entirely forthcoming. 0:14:21 Unknown_13: Yes, well, Professor Weasley is a brilliant and astute witch. It was right to keep the details to yourself for now. We don't know where this path we've embarked upon will lead. Unknown_13: it may require a bit more flexibility with your time than she would all right professor i'm very heteroflexible obliged to share details with the headmaster yeah come on i want to do something left between us we're now like what now we're in now let me do something i believe the ability you possess obliges you to be well trained happily you have the benefit of an exceptionally skilled team of witches and wizards to guide you speaking of guides 0:15:02 Unknown_13: And so that I may avoid another not-so-subtle reproof from Professor Weasley, why don't I show you the clever enchantment we included in the field guide's map? Unfold it and have a look. Unknown_03: Yeah, okay. I've seen this before. Unknown_03: fence against the darker that sounds like a fun thing the map is enchanted to help you yes i know what a waypoint is i've been playing games for 25 years with classes and let me play including your own wand you'll enjoy mr olivander he's an exceptional craftsman and a good friend 0:15:53 Unknown_13: i shall reach out when i have more information about her mysterious locket for now focus on your classes and pay attention more than your owls may hinge on the magic you are able to master within these walls okay oh i see i'm gonna give me what and now oh now the door are you kidding me come on now It's the Grim Reaper. oh yeah i'm gonna whip this guy's ass you're gonna get beat by a girl by a girl put me in the women's spellcasting league a woman's place is in the defense of the dark hearts to pieces in your own time i get new students every year but i only have one hebridean black skull 0:16:52 Unknown_22: It was a token from the Great Poacher Raid of 1878. No doubt you've heard of it. Unknown_22: now you may be asking yourself how an old woman like me single-handedly took out the largest poacher ring in eastern wales and this is exactly like the storytelling in um the uh the star wars prequels where they're in the elevator and it's like ah this is the third time i've saved your skin yes but the last time when we were going to the umbrellian uh smuggling league than i care to remember come on now leviosa leviosa I like the character's voice actor. She's really sassy. The nose is fine. 0:18:31 Unknown_08: Leviosa but it was Leviosa Is it has it always been Leviosa? Unknown_03: If I was a spell if I was a wizard and I had to pronounce things very precisely in order to cast spells I would be the worst fucking wizard ever. I only get to whip some kids ass. I have to beat up this fucking thing Are you fucking kidding me? Unknown_22: Let us begin with a basic cast. Unknown_03: Yeah, I know what the i'm no, I know I just beat the fucking tutorial lady He deflected your cast. Yes this time cast levioso first then the basic cast remember a surprise 0:19:10 Unknown_03: stop i got it very good but the best way to practice is by jewelry we'll start with youtube without the bold intimidate them what's welcome now yes i'm a girl with a penis haven't you ever seen one before basic cost and protego you may begin this is your first day at class by the way you're gonna have a fight to the death of this kid 0:20:01 Unknown_02: Get the fuck out of here. You didn't even get one spell off, you piece of shit. Unknown_16: Look at the AGP smirk. Unknown_22: I put you on the spot, and you rose to the challenge. Points to Hufflepuff. 0:20:34 Unknown_08: Oh yeah, get fucked. Glad to have the opportunity to practice. Unknown_22: Extra points to Hufflepuff for representing the female gender. Unknown_27: So well. Unknown_22: I demand excellence from my students. They are capable of achieving it. and they must i like this character i don't know why she's got a good design and her voice actor is like the least is like it's talented and she's not like corny everybody else seems like they're putting on like a silly voice she kind of understood professor fits into the character very well i'd advise you to keep practicing whenever you can perhaps mr sallow will have some ideas for you again well done today i shall reach out soon with additional assignments 0:21:21 Unknown_24: Alright, that's enough speculation. I'd hate to face Professor Hecate in a duel. Unknown_23: Oh, I'm not much for dueling. I prefer to keep things friendly. Unknown_27: I prefer to keep things friendly. Nice work. Unknown_08: Enjoyed that you're gonna ask me up or what quite something Everyone will be talking about it. Unknown_04: It was certainly good practice. You got your ass kicked. He's like saying I'm gonna be humiliated I got my ass kicked by the fucking salo by the way don't expect a new student to be so deft with a wand Then again, it's so friendly your first duel. Oh 0:21:57 Unknown_04: Oh, fuck yeah. Unknown_08: exclusive and unsanctioned count me in i want listen here sebastian i'll do your your cockfighting but this is what i need i have a persona break the rules now and then my name whether it's joy and the ring when i'm dueling will be into the 0:22:40 Unknown_03: and you will refer to me i have a whole look i have a whole latex uniform it's in my it's in my steamer upstairs okay i'm gonna be wearing it and you will refer to me only as stir dust in the squared circle you understand your performance today was sheer luck or actual skill look for luke and brattleby near the clock tower entrance if you're interested Unknown_03: Am a Hufflepuff the pajamas are because I can undress myself and I opted to my young friend It's talking to me fucking statue shit I'm dreading taking my transfiguration owl Rebellion Unknown_03: the augury skeleton the skeleton of an irish phoenix or augury is an intensely shy bird who can forecast the coming of rain whose mournful cries was once believed to foretell death let's quit how can i see stuff i could see stuff through the walls where where do i get over there i want to open those 0:24:01 Unknown_03: Damn, there's so many students. Unknown_03: Maybe it's in here that I have to poke around? Unknown_03: She's yelling at me for being naked. Unknown_03: Oh, it's all inside that room. I don't get to go in there yet, but I can see the outlines of the shit that I need to collect. Unknown_12: Ah, okay. Unknown_03: She knows that she can't tell me to change out of my uniform or into my uniform because that would be transphobic. 0:24:36 Unknown_27: We can't just have the male student walking around with his dingle dongus whopping about in front of the girls. Unknown_27: Actually, we can't say anything about it. It would be transphobic. Unknown_03: I don't even know where I'm going. Go to Charm Slash. Okay, I'm on my way. Let's see a thingy, though, and we'll pick it up. Unknown_04: Professor Ronan tends to go on a bit. We sometimes have to remind him that he's the best. 0:25:24 Unknown_01: Here. Unknown_03: Where are the toilets? Unknown_01: You just poo on the floor and disappear. There's an open seat here. Unknown_03: Oh, it's a Nigerian student. Cool. Unknown_01: Hello, I am Nettie. Unknown_01: So you are the new student. Unknown_01: Have you met Professor Ronan yet? Unknown_17: Shall we begin? Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to year five of charms. Now, this will be a crucial year in your education on the art of charm work. But I am confident that 0:25:55 Unknown_03: I'm going to tell you how to make the tourist money disappear with one easy spell. You show him the snake oil, and then, bam, you take his wallet and you run away. Unknown_17: Anyone here tell me the difference between the incantations of the color change and growth charts? Unknown_17: Anyone? Anyone? Mm-hmm. Unknown_17: I am afraid it is too late to study now. Unknown_17: My, the summer months must have really taken a toll on you all. 0:26:31 Unknown_17: By the looks of it, you all spent your holidays practicing Obliviate on one another. Unknown_17: Do you even remember how to perform a basic summoning charm? Unknown_17: Well, it seems that we are in dire need of review. Everyone get into pairs and take positions... Everyone get out your Torah. We have much catching up to do. ...as the blunt objects you so believe they are, and take turns summoning them... Now repeat after me. Allah is the one true God, and Muhammad is his prophet. 0:27:07 Unknown_18: ...now. Unknown_03: I think he's more Arab than Jewish to be honest with you. Unknown_27: Circumcise, you know. Unknown_17: Oh shit, you just stole her book. Unknown_17: You are a swift learner. Unknown_17: I see a lot of potential, but remember, potential is nothing without practice. 0:27:45 Unknown_17: Keep at it. Unknown_17: Might just rival Miss Oneye here. Unknown_17: Very good, everyone. That's enough of that. Well, as you all seem to be... Wow, all done. And it is an exceptionally lovely day. I was thinking that we might have ourselves a little excursion outside for a spot of fresh air. Unknown_17: After me. 0:28:21 Unknown_17: i've always found that fun goes hand in hand with mastery as i'm sure the quidditch players amongst us look at that gray sky this really is in england so what better than a bit of sport to put our prowess with the summoning charm to the no sports were cancelled that's in the dlc you didn't get the memo Unknown_17: So why don't we have our newest student start us off? Unknown_26: Someone in chat doesn't like my character design. Listen, his name is James. The party is thrilling. Unknown_17: Okay. One of the spheres. Unknown_17: Very good. Happens to the best of us. 0:29:09 Unknown_03: Oh, I'm supposed to get on the 50. I got you. Unknown_17: Think of this like gobstones, if you will. But instead of throwing the models out, you are some. That's it. Unknown_17: excellent oh very good points to have yeah there's certainly no sport in playing without some friendly competition miss or not you did it boy to give our new student a bit of a change i didn't realize what it was supposed to be at first and i fucked up the third one honestly 0:29:45 Unknown_03: Motherfucker I think you can steal better than me. You think you can cast the stealing spell better than me, huh? Motherfucker Let's hurry this up. Come on. Come on man Well that you can call that an accio motherfucker, oh look at that shit shit, oh Unknown_03: Oh, that's some nice 50 points you got there, Natazia. That's some nice 50 points, but you know what? Unknown_03: I think I can do it better and see it. 0:30:23 Unknown_03: Look, now we're both losers, you piece of shit. Unknown_03: We landed that fucking blue zone again and we got an issue. Unknown_03: that's what i thought you keep your space you keep your space and i keep mine you dig you dig dog ah i that one up don't lose your glass 0:30:56 Unknown_03: I don't scare I don't scare bitch. Oh 100 point. Fuck you. She's cheating dude This is bullshit Okay, we can break even here I don't intend to lose Oh, I have to press four Oh, fuck I didn't realize you have to tap it again. This is bullshit Fuck you natasya you motherfucker Unknown_17: It's too strong. 0:31:30 Unknown_03: No, I can rebound. He's making things more interesting. Okay. I got you. Unknown_01: All right. Unknown_17: enough chatter focus now you will need it don't don't mess up this round oh yeah don't let me stand in front don't up don't up don't up oh you up okay i got this 0:32:11 Unknown_03: I figured out how to do it now. Don't worry. Easy peasy. Pumpkin squeezy. Unknown_01: Don't fuck up. Unknown_03: Don't fuck up. Ah, boo. No, don't shoot there. Okay, okay. Based. Based. Unknown_01: Concentrate. Unknown_03: If you do not win, you will cut off my hand. No! Fuck! Let me cast again. Why don't they let... I should be able to fix it by casting twice. That's right. Cubes are racist. 0:32:43 Unknown_03: Wow, bitch. Can you get even a single one? Unknown_03: That's embarrassing. That's pitiful. Unknown_03: Just don't knock out your other blue one. Unknown_03: You win for sure. Unknown_03: yeah that's what i thought that's what i thought nicely done very good both of you man marches on exactly the white woman come on now i don't think there's a gun that you need to shoot voldemort with class is dismissed gather your things on the way out 0:33:34 Unknown_03: I am enjoying Hogwarts Legacy so far. Unknown_01: If I was not streaming, I wouldn't be so bothered by the cutscenes. Took me weeks to become proficient with Accio. Took weeks for me to get anything right. Yeah, and I just got here today and I kicked your ass, you know. You know what they say down in Slytherin House. Unknown_03: I won't repeat it in polite company, but you know how it is. That's good to hear. Unknown_08: It's a lot to take in all at once. Unknown_01: To put it lightly... Unknown_01: i remember how i felt when i first arrived i transferred here from wagadu just before my fourth year my mother received an offer to teach divination here before i knew it we had left uganda and were halfway around uganda i was wrong school in a new country i said nigeria i'm way off nice to meet you bye-bye talking and competing with you 0:34:29 Unknown_01: I'm going to make a prediction. There are no love interests in this game. Unknown_03: They're not going to have any kind of romance options whatsoever. I mean, they're teenagers. It would still be kind of creepy. It wouldn't be too bad, though. I'm going to say for sure that there's no romance stuff because that would be too hard to do without pissing everybody off. Unknown_07: You wanted to speak with me, Professor? I did. I trust your first charms lesson lived up to expectation? Well, an outdoor competition wasn't exactly the lesson I was expecting, sir. What charm is there in the expected? You did well managing to best as gifted a student as Miss Unai. 0:35:06 Unknown_17: Thank you, Professor. I enjoyed the match. Miss Unai is always a fierce competitor, though I sense that she is a bit distracted of late. Unknown_17: why is there an iron maiden in both classrooms why does the charms guy also have an iron maiden ordinary curriculum do they is that do they use that for me soon regarding a special you know there's poking to your balls like historically they like crush your testicles too they emasculate you rebellion 0:35:49 Unknown_03: Hi. Yes. I've been fortunate. Beginner's luck. Unknown_19: my brother william would tell you not to be so humble and to trust your abilities william then again he tends to be overconfident in his well better see to my charms homework i'm afraid i can't count on beginners laps to impress i have read all seven books my friend i remember um when the seventh book came out me and my mom both had a copy and i read through it i think i was uh living with her at the time that was i think it came out i was like 18 or 17. 0:36:44 Unknown_03: Collections, I know it's in there, so I don't have to... I'm curious about the levels. Let's see. Unknown_03: Nothing new. Unknown_03: No, I can't jump over the banner fuck you I'm gonna jump over the banister and Crush my prostate again against the railing and slide down it. I should be able to do my goddamn witch Okay Okay, I can understand not letting you do that one 0:37:30 Unknown_03: Oh, yeah more stolen African masterpieces for the British Museum I see Hey kitty cat 0:38:17 Unknown_03: now this is some gameplay um fun fact i i don't know why i know this but i know for a fact that there's that twitter channel like can you pet the dog and in any video game where you can pet the animal they will tell you that you can or cannot pet the animal um that account has mentioned that they will not be commenting on any petting type situation type deals related to this video game as a form of protest So this experience that we've just had here, troons, they can't have it. And it's important to pet animals in transphobic games to remind people who are gender conscious that they can't have nice things in life. That's a nice cat petting sequence, you might think to yourself. Not that a troon would know. Unknown_17: What about the room, Professor? Unknown_20: I was thinking the same thing, Deek. Perhaps you could help. Oh, excuse, Deek. 0:39:15 Unknown_20: Ah, there you are. Unknown_20: I trust your first classes went well? Unknown_08: They did, Professor. Unknown_20: I feel like she should know. I was almost killed. 0:39:58 Unknown_20: He continues to be reticent about the details, mentioning only a few spells. Revelio, was it? And Lumos? Unknown_08: That's correct, Professor. Unknown_20: I see. Like trying to get a sonnet from a strela. Regardless, you must continue to build upon what you've learned. In that regard, I've asked your professors to help hasten your progress with some extra assignments. Unknown_08: Oh boy, a magic carpet ride. I can't wait. 0:40:34 Unknown_20: Regarding the trip to Hogsmeade I mentioned earlier, we've arranged to replace the supplies lost on your way here, including seeds, potion recipes, and spellcrafts. Unknown_08: Thank you, Professor. Unknown_20: And Mr. Ollivander will connect you with the perfect wand. You've managed your classes well with a borrowed wand, but you'll find the magic you cast with your own wand to be far superior. Unknown_08: Hogsmeade. Unknown_08: I'm not putting on my clothes. Wait until I find the secret BDSM gear outfit. Unknown_20: Oh boy, do I want the hunky Slytherin boy or do I want the nice African lady? 0:41:28 Unknown_03: Pick now, chat. Pick now. I'll do a poll. I'll do a poll. Let's do a poll. Who? Natty. Sebastian. Unknown_03: Come on now, chat. Who we doing? Who's our fine escort for this? Unknown_03: one votes in and it's sebastian oh no 150 sebastian's that's holy natty is catching up with that extra 100 votes but sebastian's sick oh my god 50 50 at 400 votes i can't believe it the closest poll ever we can't decide they can one one no it's back to 50 i can't even believe it natty has just pulled ahead this is the greatest upset in the history of polling i can't even believe it 0:42:16 Unknown_03: I'll cap it off at about 600 votes, but Sebastian's now four. He's rising. Nope. Back down. Nope. Rising again. I can't look. I can't look. I've got so much anxiety. Okay. I think the votes have come in and it's Natty with 53% of the, that is so close. That's fucking unbelievable. And Sebastian was ahead the entire time. Okay, fine. Unknown_03: she going to you know what i think chat picked i was wondering why they didn't want the white guy around but now i know it's because she is the queen and she know the way excellent choice miss you know the way our most talented students not the way to hold sneakers undesirables on route 0:43:09 Unknown_20: A rather unsavory local. Best to avoid him and his associates, including his right-hand sorts, Theophilus Harlow. Once you've finished Professor Ronan's assignment, your friend will meet you at the castle door. No time to waste. The sooner you complete your work, the sooner you can enjoy a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Unknown_03: Okay. Unknown_03: Okay. Jiggles is out. Let's see. Anything up in here? Ooh. Unknown_02: Box. 0:43:42 Unknown_03: Speak to Professor Ronin to receive your first assignment. No, what's in the box? I don't get to know what's in the fucking box now because that thing came up. Unknown_02: Oh, what a piece of shit. Unknown_05: Rebellion. Unknown_03: I should have read that. I've been making a point to do it. Unknown_03: Anything else? Unknown_03: Don't block on that door. Okay, I think I'm done. 0:44:22 Unknown_03: Wait. Unknown_03: I had options of what to do. What have I got? Unknown_03: No, I like the murderous gloves more, to be quite honest with you. Unknown_03: Props to this game for giving you fucking gear without having to buy it. Unknown_03: Wait, I have to learn Reparo from Ronin first. Okay. Unknown_03: I guess we're going to go see Mr. Ronin again. 0:44:57 Unknown_03: He's right there. Unknown_07: How convenient. Ah, there you are. Unknown_08: You have a new spell to teach me, Professor. Unknown_17: Indeed I do, and an exceedingly useful one at that, the mending charm Repero. Fixes things right up, makes a broken object good as new in the blink of an eye. I want to be honest with the chat. Unknown_08: It seems as if that might be the case. The diversity in this game does not bother me. Unknown_03: As Professor Weasley mentioned, I am It is definitely like a children's property. And all the little kids all over the world want to imagine themselves as witches and wizards. 0:45:28 Unknown_17: And it just doesn't bother me. I think in kid shit, especially like super popular properties like this, you can have Ali and Cho Chang and Nadi from Uganda. It doesn't bother me. Unknown_08: It bothers you. Unknown_03: Maybe they should put that in the options. Unknown_03: A display option. All the children in Hogwarts are white. Maybe an option to specifically allow Asian women, because I know there's lots of libertarian gamers out there. What was I doing? Collect flying pages near a broken statue. 0:46:03 Unknown_03: What? Unknown_03: We're flying pages. Unknown_09: Oh. Unknown_03: Got it. Unknown_03: Oh, so that's how that works. I have to look out for that. 0:46:42 Unknown_03: Yeah, the gender shit, it's way, way dumber. Like, okay, you want to have black kids and Asian kids in your children's video games. Fine, who gives a shit? But, like, they can't refer to the characters as they or as he or she because someone might be offended. Like, fuck off. Unknown_03: Zenobia. Aww. Unknown_08: Everyone hates you. Why? Unknown_12: Because Hogwarts is full of bullies and spoilsports. Maybe it's because your name is Zenobia. That no-talent moon mind. I wanted to make some new friends, and so I brought my collection down to the common room. 0:47:16 Unknown_12: They'll tell you that everyone hates you, but she won't tell you why. Are you familiar with gobstones? Little balls? Unknown_03: Yeah, I'm fucking better at you than them. Unknown_12: And if you lose, they spray you with a foul-smelling liquid. Unknown_06: My uncle played that game with me once. Gobstones? Sounds like a fun challenge. Unknown_12: That's what I tried to tell everyone. Unknown_12: People can be so cruel. That's why I'm trans now. It's their own fault for losing. 0:47:49 Unknown_12: Imelda is one of the worst losers. Ever written a story No, I was in character. Unknown_02: Come on, chat. Come on. Unknown_12: Keep up. Unknown_02: Keep up. Unknown_08: Rather an overreaction on their part. Unknown_12: I'll say. Anyway, I can't work out how to get them back on my own. Unknown_03: Don't worry, little girl. I'll get your balls for you. I don't think I know the necessary spells yet. 0:48:22 Unknown_12: I need someone, perhaps a selfless and talented fifth year to help me. Unknown_08: I'll see what I can do. Unknown_12: i'd appreciate the help if you do tell me if you see any gobstones do come and see me again i'll be back to playing snake pit and jack stone by myself in no time Unknown_03: Maybe if you were in Hufflepuff, you'd have some friends. Everyone in Hufflepuff is cool and gets along. He doesn't stare at my bulge. He said you're a fucking Ravenclaw. 0:48:54 Unknown_08: Who gives a fuck about Ravenclaw? Unknown_03: I better keep an eye on high places around the school for Zenobia's gobstones. Unknown_24: Oh, that's fine. You're in your nightclothes. I'll be on my way. Unknown_03: Everyone gets weirded out by it. That's funny. Unknown_03: Fuck off, Al. Unknown_03: Um, oh, I have to, I'm like now quested to find her gobstones, I guess. Okay. 0:49:30 Unknown_03: Okay. This is fine. Um, why does it keep putting me out here? Unknown_03: Look in high places for the gobstone. Is it up here? Unknown_03: What do they look like? I don't know what I'm looking for, game. Unknown_03: See some owls. Oh. Unknown_08: Hell yeah. Ow! 0:50:20 Unknown_02: Oh, that's kind of creepy. Unknown_03: Why am I doing this? Is this a part of the quest line? Unknown_03: I'll just go get her balls, I guess. Unknown_08: I'd better keep an eye on high places around the school. Unknown_03: Yes, I fucking get it, bro. Come on, though. Unknown_05: Rebellion. Unknown_03: Something went tingling. Oh no, it's a ladder. Don't even start the ladder shit again. 0:50:59 Unknown_05: Ew, it's like a decapitated hand. Unknown_03: Divination is the dumbest of the classes. Unknown_03: He wants to be a diviner. Oh, look at me. I can look in the balls and shit. Very cool. Unknown_03: Uh, deputy housemistress of divination. Cool. I stole her note. She might not even know that she's been offered this position now because I've stolen her note. Where the fuck is this fucking thing I'm looking for? 0:51:33 Unknown_03: Am I even supposed to be up here? Unknown_19: That is hardly appropriate school attire. Unknown_03: Don't you tell... Unknown_03: I can dress how I want to. I have a special note because of my gender situation. Unknown_06: I'd better keep an eye on hot places around the school to know these gulp stones. I didn't need to go up there at all. Okay, next place. Unknown_27: Hustle, hustle, hustle. Unknown_21: Off on another adventure, are we? 0:52:08 Unknown_03: Yes. Unknown_03: it's up here somewhere that's three nowhere oh geez how the do i get up there wait who said i'm sorry 0:52:43 Unknown_03: Oh, no, I can't. Unknown_03: I can't do it. Unknown_03: Look, dude, I don't know if you've seen my size, but I'm obviously packing. I can't be judged for it. Unknown_06: Ooh, money. Oh, wait. What? 0:53:46 Unknown_03: Do I have to target these? Unknown_03: No. I'm thinking there's like a puzzle. Probably a different spell. There's definitely like an addition puzzle to this. Unknown_03: But I don't think I have access to it. Yes, my dude. Unknown_08: I know. I know what I'm doing. Oh, it's back here. Unknown_03: Alright, I was distracted by the door. In other games like that, I was f***ing distracted. 0:54:23 Unknown_03: F***ing hell. One more. Or two more, rather. Unknown_03: Oh, this is the room with the stairs. Watch out for the dog. Unknown_03: Wow, this is really high up. Unknown_03: F***. I heard a ting. Unknown_03: What went ting? Unknown_03: Bitch of the arts people had like a blast putting up all the um... What? 0:54:58 Unknown_03: Explain yourself! Unknown_03: You said four, but it's like... Okay, fine. You said four, but what does that mean? Unknown_03: Like, in terms of this door, like, what the fuck am I supposed to put into it? Unknown_03: Like, this is... I clearly do not have the spells that are required to, like... Maybe if I do the reveal thing? Unknown_03: Like, I clearly want something from me that I can't do yet. 0:55:45 Unknown_03: And people are trying to... I like... Unknown_03: Like I haven't been indicated how to do that, I'm just saying the people are like bugging us in like how do you not know the answer that? Unknown_03: Shit-talk me piece of shit painting motherfucker I'd better keep an eye on high places. Unknown_06: Yes, it's an obvious gobstones. I know the gobstones Herbology Hufflepuff proud lineage of herbalists There's the gobstone 0:56:49 Unknown_03: This quest is great because i'm now like level 20 just because I have now found like every secret in the game Okay, now there's one more in there I see it That's the last of Zenobia's gobstones I should go and see her How nice to see you my young friend Unknown_03: How do I use your thing? Oh, I don't have to go here. I can just do it from anywhere. That's right. Okay. Unknown_03: Maybe I just do it like this. Unknown_11: Yes. Unknown_11: All balls funnel. Okay. Okay. Unknown_03: Um, I think that's just like a side quest that I just accidentally got myself railroaded onto because I decided to talk to that girl because she had a thing above her head. 0:57:46 Unknown_12: I had quest markers, don't worry. Quest markers in here. Unknown_06: What a fucking dickhead answer. Unknown_03: Oh, no! Unknown_03: Oh! I want to see what happens if I click that, but I don't want to say... Okay, fuck it. Unknown_08: I can't do it. I can't... I can't commit to this. I'm... I'm... I'm stealing from a child! 0:58:19 Unknown_06: It's just a joke. Unknown_12: It's just a joke. Oh, no! Unknown_03: There's no reason to do that. 0:58:52 Unknown_03: I can't even give it to her! Oh, no! I can't, like, change my mind and give it to her. I can't... I'm sorry. I... Unknown_02: That sucks. Unknown_03: Reload to save me. All right. Do I now have the Gobstones as my outfit? Why do I now have a suit and tie? Did I steal her suit and tie too? What is that? 0:59:24 Unknown_03: Six Godstones. Unknown_03: I have her note. I did I like literally stole her fucking thing Okay, um Sell them for crack that's a good idea. Okay Learn repair. Oh, how did I not do that? Oh, I have to go back. Okay. I did I got like I see you're not dressed 0:59:59 Unknown_26: She just now noticed I don't have clothes on and had a line for it. I've traumatized this child. Unknown_08: I completed the assignments, Professor. Unknown_17: Marvelous. You clearly know your way around basic charms. Let us give the old mending charm a try then, shall we? Remember to be deliberate in your enunciation and movements. I want to see some... We're not reloading a scene. 1:00:30 Unknown_03: We've got to move on. Unknown_17: Yes, sir. I've just traumatized a child, Professor Rowland. Unknown_03: Just like you taught me to do. With the old Exposa Patronus. 1:01:05 Unknown_03: and then the broken object, ok cool ok, I'm done Unknown_03: weird because i don't i've already looked through everything it kind of bugs me that it won't go away quest hogs need um okay and then after this i'm probably gonna have another 30 minutes to stream so uh after the hogs me thing i'll go to the dueling and i'll kick that kid's ass 1:02:12 Unknown_03: Oh, we don't have a thing there. Okay. Unknown_03: Fine, fine, fine. I will just walk. I'll walk like a fucking muggle. Unknown_03: I wonder if I get the bad ending now that I stole that girl's gobstones. You think at the end Voldemort just fucking, one of those soul-sucking demon monsters just kills me? Unknown_03: It tries to slurp on my face and I was like, actually you have no soul, you're a fucking weirdo. Yeah. 1:02:54 Unknown_08: Do you know how they were? 1:03:39 Unknown_03: Natty means natural. Nappy means uncounted. There was a gaffe where a white guy who was like a sports narrator was commentating on a women's basketball league, and he said something like, ain't nothing but a bunch of nappy-headed hoes down there. And he didn't realize that he was Hot Mike, so that basically ended his career. Unknown_03: I mean, to be fair, that is pretty fucking mean. When you're commenting on somebody's sports game, you're just like, wow, all the players are fucking hideous. Unknown_01: What did she elect to take? 1:04:25 Unknown_01: It is beautiful this time of year everyone will tell you to visit at Christmas You can tell they really put the money into like I'll die just how the game looks It looks like if you're really someone who's just like I just want to be along for the ride I love the movies. Unknown_03: I love the world. I want to be a witch and then you're like wow It's like I'm actually in the Harry Potter over here That's definitely what they were going for. Unknown_01: That's okay. Not every game has to be Space Station 13. But I just killed a bunch of flies. Unknown_03: Can I kill the butterflies? No. No butterfly. 1:05:16 Unknown_01: Look! From the Forbidden Forest! Hippogriffs! Unknown_03: It's like when you're playing Skyrim and you see the butterfly, you're like, ooh, a butterfly. You get butterfly wings in your inventory. Unknown_23: I'm not putting clothes on. Unknown_03: This is how the game was meant to be played. Everyone has to see my bulge, my feminine bulge. Unknown_01: Why is it off limits? 1:05:47 Unknown_01: The professors claim it is too dangerous. I think that calling it forbidden only makes it more alluring. Unknown_03: Yeah. Unknown_01: Ah, there's hogsmeade over the crust. Call it the gay forest. Unknown_03: Where all the gay students go to blow each other. You don't want to go there. Unknown_01: It sucks. I would spend all of my time exploring. Unknown_03: My computer crashed. It sent this once before today. It just went completely black for no reason. And then I rebooted it, and it worked fine. And now I did it again, but this time... Um... It's, uh... OBS says that NVIDIA doesn't work at all. I mean, I've never had this here before, and I'm on Windows. 1:06:24 Unknown_11: Um... So, wow, that sucks. I don't know what I can do. Um... Unknown_11: Because if my NVIDIA drivers are crashed, they can't play the game because it's not going to work. Unknown_03: I think the issue might be power supply. I think that the power of this building does not support the power supply that I have for my computer. I'm going to have to get a... Because I understand that the European voltages are lower, I think. So if it doesn't work, I'm going to have to get a backup power supply that can support the voltage, I think. I think that's how that works. Yes, I'm very sorry for stealing a little girl's toys. This is obviously direct instant karma for doing that. And I have no other explanation for what's happened. 1:06:59 Unknown_03: I don't know how else my video drivers can literally uninstall themselves on the fly like this. Unknown_03: Let's try to boot up the game, and if that does not work, then I'm done. If it does, then I'll play for about 30 more minutes. But let's see. I'm curious if my NVIDIA drivers are legit just fucking broken. 1:07:33 Unknown_03: I'm curious if I've lost my save state. Unknown_11: Okay, the game starts. Unknown_11: Let's see what my GPU is doing. Unknown_11: Let's see. I am at a hundred percent CPU for some reason performance GPU. Unknown_03: Okay. My Nvidia shows up and it's doing work as the game starts. That makes sense. 1:08:06 Unknown_03: Do the game capture and see if that works. Unknown_03: does not oh there it is can i do 60 frames per second without using nvidia doing 60 frames per second just fine i'm getting 140. hey i think it's saved boys and girls we're going to be using open source software to encode this stream Unknown_03: Let's see. 60 frames per second. 80 in the game? Unknown_01: Seems fine to me. Wonderful. Okay. We will... It's a little bit jerky, you say? No, it seems fine. It's not fine? 1:08:38 Unknown_03: um is it really bit is it really bad really oh you know why because i've set bit rate for 600 kilobits per second instead of um 6 000 which is what it needs to be that latency ultra really low how about this this better 1:09:30 Unknown_03: It's good now. Okay. I think when you increase the bit rate from 600 to 6,000, when you're doing 60 frames per second, everything's fine. I think everything's fine. Okay. Unknown_03: You're fire. Wonderful. Wonderful. Is it still bad? 1:10:02 Unknown_03: Yeah, there's butt flaps. Unknown_03: It's still bad, they say. What happens if I try to switch the compression over to the other one? No, I can't do that. I don't know. I think that's all I can do. Unknown_03: It's good enough. Unknown_03: Can't read chat. Is it really that bad? Unknown_03: Oh, it is pretty fucking awful, isn't it? Unknown_03: What if I refresh it? Is it fine? 1:10:35 Unknown_04: Do you realize what you're wearing? Unknown_03: Yes. It's intentional. It's called fashion. Unknown_01: Got a peek at the prefect's bathroom last year. It runs its own. Unknown_03: Okay, in the sake of time, this wonderful streaming quality, which you see before you, will be what you receive until the end of the game. Unknown_03: Or at least until the end of this segment. 1:11:09 Unknown_03: It's finally a trauma. Okay, wonderful. Unknown_03: Okay, let us continue where we left off. Unknown_01: Look out! Unknown_03: I can get her to stop talking by shooting my wand. Unknown_01: I cannot tell you how nice it is to be fresh air after being cooped up in ancient ruins. Grave mistake to take it as an elective class, believe me. Unknown_01: What, Hogg? 1:11:47 Unknown_01: Okay, it works fine now. I like how I constantly have my wand out. Unknown_06: Like, I'm, um... Like, everybody else is just walking around casually, and then I'm armed. Unknown_03: I'm ready to go. I'm ready to fly off the fucking handle at a moment's notice. Unknown_03: I'm walking around in a bad part of London, if you know what I mean. Unknown_01: I often spot lacewing flies in this area. Unknown_03: Oh, what's so special about them? Unknown_01: They are interesting to look at. I have to wait for her to finish that statement. You can also use them in potion making. 1:12:24 Unknown_03: That guy already did this and the game knows that. It does. I'm just restarting the quest over. Unknown_03: Look! Unknown_01: From the Forbidden Forest. Hippogriffs. Unknown_01: I wonder if something startled them. I heard rumors that hippogriffs had been spotted nearby. Do you think Poppy's already seen the hippogriffs? 1:12:59 Unknown_23: Absolutely. Unknown_01: That's the Forbidden Forest on the left. It's off-limits to students, as their name implies. Unknown_01: Why is it off-limits? It'd be funny if you could, like, switch weapons. I'm imagining, like, GTA where you just get, like, an AK-47 or RPG in your hands. Unknown_03: I would spend all of my time exploring if I could. 1:13:31 Unknown_08: I confess I was surprised when Professor Weasley mentioned that you knew the area, since you're relatively new here. Unknown_01: She said that? Unknown_01: She knows more about me than I have thought. I will say, while I certainly learn a great deal in class, much can be gleaned outside of the castle walls. Unknown_27: My parents were thrilled to hear that Black Widow. Unknown_03: If I see the Delia again, I will give her the fucking gobstones. I will apologize profusely. I will ask her to lift her fucking curse from me. Her gypsy curse. 1:14:06 Unknown_08: I want rock. Give me the rock. Yeah. Yeah. I got the rocks. Unknown_03: Come on, bitch. We gotta go. We got shit to do. I'm not abandoning. Unknown_26: Move! Schnell! Schnell! 1:14:39 Unknown_01: What? I haven't heard that name in a long time. Oh no, I'm a drunk. And I'm Asian. How can this be? How can this be? How far I've fallen. 1:15:25 Unknown_16: Oh, his name is Moon because he's Korean. That's why. I think he had too much fun in the village. Unknown_03: Rowling gave me a shout-out, that's right. Unknown_01: Rowling specifically asked, look, you gotta put a moon in this game. Unknown_03: And they're like, moon? What kind of fucking name is that? So I looked it up, and it's Asian. Unknown_01: But it's a direct reference to me, believe it or not. Yeah, fuck goblins. Ooh, pigeons. No, don't fly away. 1:16:07 Unknown_08: Sometimes it seems all roads lead to Hogsmeade. Unknown_06: Why? Unknown_01: And here we are. Unknown_03: You've never been here before, you fucking weirdo. Unknown_01: The Three Broomsticks is the place for butterbeer. And you can get any sweets you can imagine at Honeydukes. Unknown_01: I could not choose a favorite shop here. It changes with every visit. Unknown_01: I can tell you that you are certain to find everything you need in Hogsmeade. Unknown_03: I didn't pick Moony's last name. It's my dad's name. 1:16:41 Unknown_01: Professor Weasley said that you need to get potion recipes, spellcrafts, some seeds, and... A new wand. Of course. You will enjoy, Mr. Ollivander. And I am keen to see what you will do with a wand of your own. You should be able to collect everything you need and still have time to explore a little as well. Experience hogsmeat at your own pace. We can meet up in the town circle when you are finished. Unknown_01: Okay, let's do the wand. Wait, hold up. Unknown_03: I know what the map is, bro. I know what the map is. Come on. 1:17:18 Unknown_03: But before I do that, I gotta pet the kitty cat. Unknown_03: No, get out of my way. I'm petting the cat. Unknown_03: The game's quality looks like it's way different. I don't know if that's, like, me or what. It could be because there's no Nvidia drivers or something. I am kind of... Fuck it, I'll check that on my own time. Unknown_03: It's fine for what it is. Unknown_03: Uh... Zonko's. Unknown_03: I'm looking for Ollivander, though. 1:17:51 Unknown_03: Hairdressing Salon. Unknown_03: Ollivander's right there. Unknown_03: Surprise motherfucker Hello on your stick I'll be right with ah It's you. Unknown_17: Um Just a moment, please Unknown_03: Don't mind me, I'm just going to adjust my junk while I wait. 1:18:25 Unknown_17: For a new wand, yes. It's about time. Yes, about time. Well, you're our new fifth year student, are you not? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you are. Gerbold Ollivanders, the name. But of course, you'll have heard of the Ollivanders, I'm sure. Finest wand makers in the world. It's a pleasure to meet you, truly. Now, come with me. Let's find you the perfect wand, shall we? 1:18:58 Unknown_03: I'm gonna make a prediction. He's gonna go through like three ones exactly like they do in the movie There's like mishaps Yeah, impressive give this one a try Well, go ahead swish Unknown_03: No, Ollivander, I don't like this dilator. It's too big. It hurts my girl pocket. Ah, what a disaster. It's going to be the third one. 1:19:33 Unknown_17: It's going to be the third one they use. It has to be. 13 and 3-4. Unknown_03: Oh my god. That's obscene. That's a novelty. Nobody can use a wand that big. That's something you give as like a joke gift. Unknown_03: Like a little knobbly and shit. Nobody can use this one. 1:20:06 Unknown_17: Huh? Unknown_17: This is proving to be trickier than I had anticipated. How perplexing. Unknown_03: I wonder if this next one's going to be it, chat. Unknown_17: Ah, there you are. Unknown_26: That was the joke one. Isn't that one of those ones up there? Unknown_17: The cobwebs? I think you might be the one. Here, take it. 1:20:37 Unknown_03: Oh, I get to design it. Wow. Okay. Nevermind. You can do the, the, the fun movie thing if you want. That's cool. Unknown_03: Um, Oh, how intriguing. Unknown_03: I'll get three colors. Unknown_03: I'm having such a magical day now. Cause I did the design. I love this. I love, I get to design the one indeed. 1:21:15 Unknown_03: I'm not... They got me. I'm so engrossed in the magic of the Wizarding World now, because I get to design the horn. Unknown_03: Uh... I don't like that. Unknown_03: Not sure about the spiral. I like that this is like a unicorn horn. Unknown_03: What kind of one would Jim Sterling want, though? That's the question. A straight, classic black one, the unicorn horn, or the knobbly wood? Unknown_03: notch for your pleasure that's true notch for your pleasure go with the dark brown what kind of curious indeed it doesn't change the color at all obviously i want the biggest possible one 1:22:10 Unknown_03: Flexibility I want this to be floppy Quite beneath. Yeah. Yeah boy Now we're talking. I want a giant floppy one And what kind of what I need something that sounds lewd Apple Dogwood, I don't know what that looks like, but we're sticking with dogwood. I'm gonna be honest with you now. I Unknown_03: and a unicorn unicorn here yeah this is the one that jim sterling is most to be quite quite honest and faithful to its owner what do you think extraordinary another one another beginning of a bright and magical future 1:23:10 Unknown_03: Yeah, he got an AGP smirk out of that one. Unknown_07: How did that feel? Good. Different. I sense the sort of surge of some kind. A match. The alchemist seemed particularly powerful. Unknown_17: The right wand will learn from you, just as you learn from it. I'm eager to try it out. Indeed. Treat it well, and you shall find no more dependable a wand than one with a unicorn hair core. And the bond between you and your wand should only grow stronger. Do not be surprised at your new wand's ability to perceive your intentions, particularly in a moment of need. That sounds wonderful, Mr. Ollivander. I'll let you get to it. Do come and see me again if ever I can be of further assistance. 1:23:49 Unknown_02: Okay, let's see. Unknown_03: Let's test this bad boy out. Unknown_03: Ooh, free money. Unknown_03: I've already seen some fucking floppiness. Doesn't seem that floppy. Unknown_03: Why is my stick so stiff? I got the floppy one, god damn it. 1:24:27 Unknown_03: Doesn't seem that floppy at all. Seems like a piece of stick. Unknown_03: Yeah, I got fucking, I got fucking scammed by Ollivander. Okay, where's the hat store? This is the last thing I'm doing. And then I have to call it quits, unfortunately. I'll do the, um... Hats. Wizard of Gear. Okay, here we go. Get that fucking Chetum thing. Unknown_03: Getting snazzy with him. 1:25:01 Unknown_15: Dashing pajamas you didn't buy those I love that everyone shits on my pants and tea Okay, tell me some pantalones sir Sell me your pants Unknown_05: Rebellion. Unknown_03: Why can't I buy pants? Unknown_03: Take a scope, type a dark detector, spin, detect someone untrustworthy nearby. Give me this. Unknown_05: Accio. Repairer. Can I buy your pants? Unknown_03: Never quite got the hang of that one. Why can't I buy pants? 1:25:49 Unknown_03: Hmm. Unknown_03: I will take all your money and I will leave then. Actually, I'll drink some more tea. Okay, fine. I guess I can't buy any fucking pants then. I guess I have to do all the objectives first and then they'll let me buy some pants. Unknown_03: Okay. Okay, fine. I'll do that. We'll bust through this. We'll get it done. 1:26:33 Unknown_03: I want to buy pants before, or my hat. Actually, the hat's more important than the pants. How the fuck do I get up there? Unknown_09: No, give me that thing. Unknown_08: Pardon me, sir. I'm here for the spellcrafts Professor Weasley ordered. 1:27:07 Unknown_00: Matilda's student. Unknown_00: I thought I might be seeing you soon. Unknown_00: I am the proprietor here. Thomas Brown. I take it you've had a conjuring lesson then? Unknown_08: I'm afraid I haven't yet, sir. Unknown_00: Ah, but you will soon enough. Unknown_00: It is magic at its purest. Unknown_03: Sir, can I have your hat? This may be an unusual request from a guest, but I think that your hat would complete my steampunk persona. Unknown_00: But that is where my spellcrafts come in. Stay the course, and you could soon impress even Professor Weasley. 1:27:43 Unknown_08: That's certainly something to aspire to, Mr. Brown. I look forward to that day. Unknown_03: No, I don't sound like a robot. Unknown_00: I sound like I'm in the process of transitioning to a beautiful woman. Unknown_00: Um... 1:28:25 Unknown_00: Nothing like finding just if you're interested feel free to take a look around at the rest of my inventory Bro, I don't get no fucking money. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help rebellion Dressed to impress I see Okay potions now Unknown_03: I love how every character in the game has a line to make fun of the fact that I'm naked. Unknown_26: Uh... Oceans. 1:29:16 Unknown_25: Welcome to Jay Pippin's Po- Sorry dude, I gotta get my thing. Unknown_03: Pippin's Potions. Pippin's Pippin- Pippa Potions. Pippa Potions. Unknown_25: Pardon me, sir. Oh, thank goodness. Unknown_08: When I heard the bell, I thought you were Miss Lawang. Unknown_25: Not that she deigns to come here. Don't believe I've seen your face here before, either. It's my first time in Hogsmeade, actually. Is it really? Well, Parry Pippin at your service. And this is Jay Pippin's potions. Potions for all ailments. 1:29:54 Unknown_25: You'll have read it on the sign, of course, but Grandfather always made me say it in full. How may I help you today? Unknown_08: Professor Weasley sent me to collect some recipes. I'm new at all. I need something special. Sometimes I don't feel so feminine. Unknown_27: You know what I mean? Unknown_25: I need a little bit of... You'd want your potion supplies. Unknown_25: Is it not the most fascinating art, potion-making? Rivals anything you can do with a wand, I've always said. Are potions really that versatile? They may not be as showy as spellwork, but make no mistake, they are just as powerful. They can heal, destroy, protect. You'll discover all of this soon enough. As it's your first time in, I should mention that it's not just potion recipes I sell. I also offer ready-made drafts for all manner of uses. And I unveil new ones from time to time. Pop in when you can so you don't miss out on anything. But for now, let's get you those recipes, shall we? 1:30:29 Unknown_25: What can I do for you today? Do you have any funny hats? A wise decision. Unknown_03: Feel free to take a look at the rest of my inventory. 1:31:03 Unknown_25: Or come back another time if you're in a rush today. Unknown_05: Don't take the money. Unknown_05: Oh, I see a page. Hey now, don't be snarky. Unknown_03: Uh, okay, one more. What am I doing here? Unknown_03: Why can I not see the quest guide in the fucking map menu where I need to fucking go? I'm already on my way. 1:31:36 Unknown_26: Wonderful. Unknown_14: Well, I love all that! Unknown_08: Pardon me, sir. I'm here for the seeds Professor Weasley arranged for me to collect. Unknown_14: Oh, the dittany for the new fifth year. I take it that's you then. Merlin's beard. Starting Hogwarts as a fifth year. You must be positively reeling from it all. Not at all. I'm choosing to see it all as one big adventure. Well, bravo. Not everyone has the temperament to take things as they come. Name's Timothy Teasdale, by the way, and this is my shop, the Magic Neap. I keep the cart out here because I like a good chat. Can't very well be in the thick of things if I'm heading away inside now, can I? I suppose not. I swept it up, don't you worry. Okay, I don't know. 1:32:57 Unknown_03: No, I want my pants I swear to god these pants are like 10 million dollars each i'm gonna be so fucking pissed off I'm gonna i'm gonna be unreal how pissed off I am He's a shit Unknown_03: Why is this tree interactable? Really? Unknown_14: Secret hidden shrubbery, then again. 1:33:51 Unknown_15: Thou may your hats. You didn't buy those here, did you? Unknown_03: Why can I not buy? I don't understand. Okay, maybe if I talk to her, then I can buy. If I can't buy a fucking hat while I'm here. Unknown_08: I have everything. I see what you meant about not being able to pick a favorite shop. Unknown_01: We should walk around a bit more. Perhaps today is the day I finally pick one. Unknown_03: I guess I'm not buying a fucking hat. 1:34:36 Unknown_03: This guy would be dead. Unknown_03: Like he's... Like he'd be standing in this... Like he's standing in a... Like a... Unknown_03: Marketplace full of wizards. Oh my god. So I guess I'm not getting a hat. Unknown_03: I guess I don't have an option but to complete this. 1:35:11 Unknown_03: Alright, time to die, motherfucker. I don't know. Okay, that's what happens when you miss it. Unknown_05: Okay. Unknown_03: No, I don't want to repair him. No, get out of there! Ow. Unknown_05: Holy shit. I'm about to die. 1:35:53 Unknown_08: What was that? I was trying to beat him at his own game. Unknown_03: Ow. Oh, my God. I'm getting dark stoles. I was just. Unknown_26: It's not fair! You can't just beat the fuck out of the black girl like that! 1:36:55 Unknown_16: I think I'm fucking up. Unknown_03: I think there's a way for me to, like, carry, but I'm not pressing the right button. Yeah, that... I keep... I'm gonna get it right. Hold up. Unknown_03: Ah, damn it. I think... Okay, next one should also be a Q. No. Not a Q. Unknown_03: Why am I so bad? I'm not. Unknown_03: I'm invocating that. Why is my wand not floppy? My wand should be flopping around. Holy shit, he's dead. 1:37:34 Unknown_03: Oh no, my jammies are all dirty. Unknown_21: Goodness, a second troll. Did you two take on a fully grown troll by yourselves? Unknown_08: I suppose so. It's all a bit of a blur, to be honest. Unknown_21: Merlin's beard. Are you all right? Unknown_08: We are and we were glad to help I'd say help is a bit of an understatement nerve like that The makings of an aura if you are yeah, nice try lady. 1:38:08 Unknown_03: Stop trying to groom me I'm not gonna join your fucking fed up the two of you wouldn't mind you're so radicalized. Hey, they were should be coming or singer officer singer and Thank you again Unknown_03: OK, repair the damage. Unknown_03: Oh, he wants to sell me a hat. Unknown_03: Can you sell me a hat now? Let me know what I'm doing. Tell me a hat. 1:38:45 Unknown_03: Yes, you want to sell me a hat. Unknown_03: He invites me inside, and then nothing happens. Am I supposed to be repairing stuff? Like, she wants to talk to him, but then I'm supposed to be repairing stuff, and they're just gonna, like, stand off-screen. Unknown_06: Ah, you would be dead. Those rocks just fucking smashed upside my head. 1:39:16 Unknown_03: Look at this. I'm dead. These things are, like, swirling around a million miles a second. I can't believe they're making me sweep it up on my day off. Unknown_03: Lucky they didn't do more damage. Unknown_05: Repairer. Unknown_05: Rebellion. Good thing I missed it. 1:39:53 Unknown_03: A Xur Niffler scarf? I've always wanted to skin a Niffler and wear his scarf. Unknown_01: we were just talking about you oh finally hello sir i don't believe we've met allow me to introduce myself augustus hill clothier extraordinaire Unknown_16: Augustus. Unknown_02: We have a brother. Unknown_16: Pants. Pants. 1:40:41 Unknown_16: Nice try, but I'm not putting on any clothes. I'm just trying to hide my feminine body. Okay, this is free. Unknown_03: They're trying to get me to put clothes on. You're not going to do it. Yeah, I know. Oh, they're making. Oh, okay. Yeah, I see how it is. You're making me put on the clothes. 1:41:13 Unknown_15: Dashing pajamas. Unknown_03: You didn't buy those here, did you? Actually, as a matter of fact, I did. Unknown_03: Okay, let's look at this. Unknown_03: Look at the stats. Offense. Fuck this. Unknown_03: i just want a nice there's no like steampunk hat though and that's what i want i'd say that looks as if it was me oh man that that's pretty james stefani if i do say so myself what about this one 1:42:06 Unknown_03: I can't afford that one. I'm like James Stefani. I'd say that looks as if it was made for you. Unknown_16: Buy the mask? I'm not feeling the mask to be honest with you. Unknown_16: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you. Unknown_03: That's pretty funny. I have to be level six to wear that, though. I don't want this stupid hat. What the hat? 1:42:38 Unknown_16: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you. Unknown_03: It's not a top hat, though. I want a top hat. Unknown_03: I'm just not feeling it. Unknown_16: I'd say that looks as if it was made for you. Unknown_03: Yes. I know you've told me this before to be honest to be honest I can't afford the mask Okay, I think I suspect you have a shot if you don't have access to a top extraordinary introduction I am going I would say that we just simply take off this room at least one butterbeer Shall we head to the three broomsticks? 1:43:24 Unknown_01: Sounds like a good idea. Wonderful. Just down this way then Unknown_03: okay let's fix this travesty that has been done to me this be robing which i did not consent to and how do i save i sell even more battle worthy items should you be inclined you're most welcome my shop all right Well, I will see you guys tomorrow. I'll stream for another three hours. I'll stream this until it's out for everybody, not just people who spent extra money to trigger the libs and own the libs. 1:44:00 Unknown_03: I hope you have enjoyed this. I will hopefully have a computer that works for that one. We'll see how it goes. Let me read the super chats real quick. Unknown_03: Oh my fucking god, there have been six... Oh, I know, never mind. I had the filters off. There's no fucking way I can read all these. Unknown_10: Um... Unknown_03: Jack Tucson says, for 10, try to make a scary Amazon Black Lady as a character. I did not. I went with the Troon. I think it was a much better choice in retrospect. The people who voted for the Troon knew what they were doing. Goblin for one says, Josh, don't go into the gas chamber secrets. Too late. I did. I almost got executed by a goblin assassin. 1:44:32 Unknown_03: Nonymous for 20 says, you'll never be a real wizard. You have no wand. You have no orb. You have no robes. Sure, I don't have any of those things. I do have a wand, but it's not as floppy as I'd like. You're an unenlightened apprentice twisted by potions and transmutation to a crude mockery of the Academy's perfection. 1:45:02 Unknown_26: Thank you, Nonymous. Unknown_03: Goliadante for five says the goblin is immunized from all magic. When they cast stupefy, expeller amos, reducto, even avada cadavera, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. Unknown_03: Call him a goblin. And watch as he recoils. I imagine it continues. Pope Urban for one says, if I donate in the middle of the week, does that super chat just get lost, or will you read them come Friday? I read them at the end of the stream, my friend. Anonymous for two says, you will never be a Hufflepuff. You have no loyalty. You have no friendship. You have no determination. You are a Slytherin twisted by a hat and a juice potion to a mockery of nature's perfection. I think I'm very Hufflepuff. I eat all the food in the dormitory, and that's what you need to be. 1:45:37 Unknown_03: Near for one says, Cap Flipendo, nerd. I think that is like jumping off a building. Flip. I think that's what he's implying. I assume I assume that they take 1:46:11 Unknown_03: Yeah, I mean, look, okay, listen. Unknown_03: J.K. Rowling's universe is not well thought out. It's just like, when it hits your face, you're like, that's really cool. It would be really cool to be a wizard. The thing is about these classes is that... they're like so whimsical like sure they're in school but they're not studying math they're studying potions and like magic and shit and it's like amazing and it's just supposed to be like a complete escape from reality where there's no responsibility and like chores are taken care of and class is magic and shit like that it's not supposed to be like a Tolkien thing where everything makes sense 1:46:53 Unknown_03: rabbi rabbi herschel sneederman berg black sneed for 15 says keffels is streaming hogwarts legacy right now you have more time more than three times the viewers that he does this true twitter twitch falls um he's streaming i don't see it is it on you like youtube Unknown_11: hog one left hogwarts legacy one death equals one star challenge and he's not playing hogwarts legacy he's playing a fragile white womanhood he's playing that game where you're on a raft i think it's just called raft yeah he's not actually playing hogwarts legacy he's playing um raft and listening to vouch gay i do have more viewers than him though Unknown_03: okay uh thanks for watching i appreciate the support i appreciate uh your time um i will play this and then we'll be outing and i'll see you tomorrow at six not seven this time