0:00:14 Unknown_00: It's true Unknown_01: If there's one thing Khan would taste, it's a nut sack in the face. He likes buttholes on his plate. Unknown_24: I'm listening to horribly, I didn't mean to go live so early, while listening to horribly offensive Rucka Rucka Ali songs about Kanye West being a homosexual. This really damages my odds of becoming FCC director under the Kanye administration. Or out the gate i've already stumbled i've already stumbled and embarrassed president the future president of the united states of america How could this happen? 0:01:06 Unknown_24: Rucka Rucka got canceled. Oh my God, could it be? Could it be because he made like a million songs that just like were as bluntly like racist and offensive as possible? This is what happened to cancel Rucka Rucka. Rucka Rucka's real tragedy is that he became like a Maddox simp, like after Maddox's career had tanked. And he just kind of like sat around being like a useless fart huffer while Maddox ran like the most boring podcast in existence. um now how the mighty have fallen he's living in uh like la he doesn't really have many prospects um i mean 0:01:51 Unknown_24: Look, I am not like a rap expert. I cannot opine on the career of Kanye West. I know a couple of his songs that I'm fond of. Unknown_24: I've always appreciated the raspy kind of like desperation that is in the vocal performance for Black Skinhead. Unknown_24: I can't name another Kanye song off the top of my head that I really like, but Black Skinhead is a pretty good song. But I don't know. A lot of people seem to like and respect Kanye, which makes it additionally funny that he's like a fucking crazy person who's trying to destroy his entire life. 0:02:30 Unknown_24: Let me get comfy real quick. Unknown_24: Well this dark side Josh stream go pro gamer or or will those be a dark side Josh stream or pro gamership? Well, apparently I'm entering a Particularly Difficult area of the game. Everyone keeps saying. Oh my god. He's in the med bay. I'm in the med bay I'm apparently on mission like five out of twenty though 0:03:02 Unknown_24: We'll see how that goes. Uh, the game, the menus are like loading and laggy. I hope I don't have this bug that everyone has warned me about. Unknown_24: Um, regarding like frame rates or whatever. Unknown_14: I also, I did, um, go ahead and watch that Mandalorian video that everyone kept begging me to watch. 0:03:38 Unknown_24: Um, I did not look at the spoilers for the game, so I can't speak on that. Unknown_24: All right. I'm already confused looking at the map. Unknown_24: Find Marley's office, but Marley's office is like off to the side. Unknown_14: Do I have to go down? Oh, this is not going well at all. Unknown_24: I'm already like a deer in headlights trying to figure out where the fuck I'm going. Unknown_24: Elevator. Unknown_24: That sounds promising. That sounds like where I'd want to go to go down to a different floor. Unknown_22: Restore power. Okay. 0:04:18 Unknown_22: Keycard required. Okay. Unknown_24: I'm afraid to stomp around because I'm aware that if you, uh, even in like supposedly safe areas, you stomp around, uh, they will fucking murder you. Unknown_24: That's the doctor. 0:04:52 Unknown_24: I've already maxed out like my crafting. Unknown_24: I guess not. Unknown_24: What do I? So if I have too much scrap, is there just nothing to do with it? Unknown_14: Assessment room. Unknown_14: I feel like a retard I've already okay. Unknown_24: I went that way and I couldn't get in So I guess I should look for the power grid and fix the door, right? That would make sense Oh my god, I have like a thing stuck in my my arm Come on let's work together, huh? 0:05:39 Unknown_24: Yes, British person, please. Unknown_24: Please blast your voice. It's like blast your voice. Unknown_22: What about BP sound like in Atari? That should be fine. That's right. 0:06:58 Unknown_09: Along that corridor. Unknown_24: Uh-huh. To the left or right? Unknown_24: So we'll inspect both? Oh, I can't use that one. So I'll just do this one. 0:07:36 Unknown_21: Oh, Skeleton. Unknown_24: Hello, Skeleton. Hello, Skeleton. Unknown_24: Alright, I'm getting used to the keys again. The keys for this are like controller. Okay, 1702. Troubled population for better or worse. The right to bear arms. What's the alien, you idiot? I guess I don't have time to like read. 0:08:08 Unknown_24: The, um, the thing. 0:08:40 Unknown_23: E-card. Unknown_21: There's clearly going to be a spooky alien here. 0:09:24 Unknown_24: Oh I shouldn't have swung that wrench. Unknown_24: That's probably a mistake. Unknown_21: I don't hear a bleepity bloop. 0:10:00 Unknown_21: I do see an alien tail though. Unknown_21: How am I supposed to get past? Where did he go? Unknown_21: Alien has gone. Unknown_21: How am I supposed to get past this? 0:10:44 Unknown_24: Uh-huh. Damn, he got a really long tail. Unknown_24: Boy, you got a really long tail. Unknown_24: How am I supposed to get out of this? Unknown_24: I can't see. I hear him stomping around. I hear like really tense music because I know he's like right there, yes? 0:11:37 Unknown_22: I'm afraid to leave. Unknown_24: Like I hear him right there. Unknown_24: I don't know. I feel like I have to guess because I can't like I can hear him walking. 0:12:29 Unknown_21: I don't know. I'm too much of a pussy to, like, leave. Unknown_24: In the cuck vent. Because he's just... He's just, like, leaving up, like, up and down. Poke your head out. I want to. What if I get eaten? Unknown_24: Okay, well, I'm in the cuck vent. I have to get out of the cuck... You know, I'm gonna go this way. It's darker. 0:13:07 Unknown_24: I can't. Unknown_24: Yeah, I cannot leave this way. Unknown_24: Stop venting. He does play like a fine. You know what? Fuck it. Unknown_24: If I die, it's your fault. 0:13:41 Unknown_24: Look at this. He's right there. Unknown_24: Actually deaf. What the fuck do you... Stop making noise. Can you fucking stop? 0:14:14 Unknown_14: Okay, so the dinosaur is like walking around in a circle. I'm at the appropriate elevation now. 0:14:57 Unknown_24: This is why there needs to be like a quick save Fuck Okay E E is the hide button Left mouse button is the make an extremely loud noise button These are extremely dangerous to mix up Okay now oh, it's like like across the hallway where I uh, Unknown_24: Why can I not view my thing correctly? Hold it up a little bit higher, you piece of shit. Unknown_24: Is he in the room? 0:16:06 Unknown_08: You hear me? I tried to use the dispensary today and found I was locked out. I can't possibly be expected to carry out my duties if you... Lingard cut my access privileges. I have patients who will relapse without that medication, particularly when things on the station are so precarious. Unknown_08: I will not see patient care suffer. Consider this a formal warning. Fuck! 0:16:40 Unknown_24: Let me backspace! Unknown_24: Go away. Unknown_24: Go away! Unknown_24: He's never done this before! Unknown_24: He's never gone this way! 0:17:17 Unknown_24: I think I heard a wrench hit a locker somewhere around here like eight hours ago. Let's go check that out, I guess. 0:18:02 Unknown_20: So loud Fuck this I'm not gonna run. Unknown_24: There's like an alien right there. I can hear because of the music Oh, there's a map. Oh, you know what else is outside the room? Unknown_24: Fuck you If she is he really gonna check the locker Unknown_24: I'm not using the tracker. I know that thing bleepity bloops. 0:19:04 Unknown_24: Okay, now where am I? Unknown_24: So the alien immediately knows to come in here when that door opens. Unknown_24: Then there's Dr. Morley's keycard in the other end of the hallway. Unknown_24: There's a skull with sunglasses there. Unknown_24: That's interesting. 0:19:38 Unknown_24: It just chills outside the door? Well, that's so fucking annoying. Unknown_24: Oh, he saw me I thought that this basket would be safe, but it's not safe at all actually It's right there is he gonna come in better not come inside fuck him 0:20:38 Unknown_24: Very not obvious what you can and cannot see through as an alien. Unknown_14: Um Oh, yeah, there's a map in the hallway that I didn't get to is what I can't see I wonder what evolutionary imperative requires the ass eater 9000 in a creature's mouth. 0:21:32 Unknown_24: Isn't that like A different creature doesn't like shoot out and like confess someone Unknown_24: no it's really just like a tongue that's bizarre he's like scripted to come inside and like spook you if you're hiding in a locker 0:22:25 Unknown_24: Press E to hold breath. Yeah, right. Unknown_24: Is he just going to check the locker arbitrarily? Unknown_24: No, he's just there to spook you, I guess. Unknown_24: Okay, I get it. It's a close call. Move. Unknown_24: It's frustrating. I don't want to bitch and ruin it, but I can tell. It's scripted. That's supposed to be a close call. 0:22:56 Unknown_24: Really Is it gonna like jump and get me it clearly saw me Not to this shitteroo again now it's definitely gonna get me right Unknown_24: either get me or don't can okay can it see if i peek if i peek like this am i at extra risk yes it can see me okay cool 0:24:17 Unknown_24: i really feel like i've bugged it like because what is it expecting me to do there's no way that i'm going to be able to like run out from under this table and get past it and it's going the wrong way because that's where i have to go Unknown_21: Use a distraction. Okay. 0:25:29 Unknown_21: Fuck me. Unknown_24: Where'd it go? Unknown_21: Find his keycard. I'm in here. 0:26:06 Unknown_24: Where is it in this room? Unknown_24: Behind you? Unknown_24: Oh. Unknown_24: Oh, so... Unknown_24: Find dr moly's keyboard and then Dr marley is in either a29 c20, oh Okay, so now it's going to update to be the rooms, okay Um, I can't save after this point this this is where it's like Like this room should be safe and it should have like a thing this So that If I die right fucking now, it's not game over and I have to like do this again I can lock that door Oh 0:28:09 Unknown_24: Okay, I guess I'll I guess I'll I really don't like making items craft I mean I can't even I don't have a razor blade Hug the alien Unknown_24: And it never felt like before. Oh. Unknown_24: Now it's closed permanently. Unknown_24: There's still no save point. And it doesn't help me. 0:29:16 Unknown_23: Is there like... Unknown_24: Okay, can I make a thing now? Noisemaker? Unknown_20: No, I still don't have a razor blade. 0:30:00 Unknown_24: What's he even looking for? He's just looking for me. Unknown_21: Yeah, I don't have a psi injector. Unknown_24: Don't have a psi there either. Unknown_24: I'm not, like, hoarding psi injectors anywhere. Is he in here? He's, like, deliberately programmed to come where I'm, like, doing this shit. And, like, annoy the fuck out of me. 0:30:32 Unknown_20: Yank his fucking tail. 0:31:19 Unknown_24: Okay, the most straightforward way would have to be through that fucking door. Unknown_20: Is like. 0:32:02 Unknown_24: It's very I'm very frustrated because it's like i'm trying to like sneak around and he just comes to where i'm at every time So I really feel compelled to make it use an item But the item that I would use the noisemaker. I don't have the right injection for so I can't make it Unknown_24: And I feel, I feel additionally punished because it's like, if I, um, if I fuck up, then I lose all this progress and that's not very entertaining. You know, if you're playing a game by yourself and sure you can fuck up and you can lose all the progress in the world, but if you're, um, like streaming or something, it's, it's a big pain in the ass. 0:33:00 Unknown_24: Okay. So we're now on the side, sci-fi room. Unknown_24: And his thing is in here somewhere. Unknown_24: The hunter man has found me. Okay, um... I don't remember, which room was it? 0:33:38 Unknown_14: these devs hate streamers playing painfully that's the that's the the the double-edged sword is like i don't know it's just like now it's like i have to go all the way back to the save point and if i die so it's like wouldn't it be better to play conservatively and not fuck up and lose like an half an hour of progress already uh okay Hello? 0:34:59 Unknown_24: i really want to use something and like have it explode oh so like this is definitely one of the rooms i was supposed to go to but um nothing's powered Unknown_24: It's like right above me. 0:35:57 Unknown_24: Man, he's totally going to come in this room and do the thing where he peeks around for like five minutes. Unknown_24: Need to grab the keycard from the corpse. What corpse? Unknown_08: There's no corpse in here. 0:37:03 Unknown_24: on the save point an ironic bot okay return to dr coolman but um that door is closed and so the entire path has like alien warnings the entire fucking way there Unknown_24: And it sounds like he's in the vents. Unknown_24: It doesn't sound like he's like... 0:38:22 Unknown_21: With your mom. Unknown_24: Oh my God, I did it. Unknown_24: I missed what? Unknown_24: It says return to Dr. Coleman. I did it right. 0:39:21 Unknown_24: Yeah, she does have really spindly arms And I really appreciate if you like fucked off i'm being chased like the entire way there and back Unknown_24: No, I've not seen the movies. We've discussed this before. It's not going to let me out. Like it's just flat out not letting me the fuck out. 0:40:29 Unknown_24: It's like it knows I'm here and it's just stomping around the fuck with me. 0:41:15 Unknown_03: Can you give me the collectible? Unknown_24: Okay, so fucking done let me save before you kill him Damn you're on the other side of this very protected glass wall. 0:42:17 Unknown_18: We can leave Unknown_24: There appears to be a monster on the other side of that door sir Yeah, fuck that 0:42:54 Unknown_25: always say is that a british person you know he's fucking dead if i was writing a game what would happen to the british person fucking dead aha see this is so hard game Unknown_23: Door locked. 0:43:53 Unknown_24: I get the feeling that the stun baton is not going to be very useful against the xenomorph. Unknown_24: It's just the impression that I get. Unknown_24: Frank, I need to talk to you. I've got a body up here that's part of a martial investigation. Female, late 30s, chest wound. You have no idea how long a martial is. I want to keep her up here, but I highly sense that information. I'm going to need your discretion. I also need your trust me on this one. Come see it in my office. Lengard, Senior Medical Officer. Frank, your concern about San Cristal Ball's lockdown has been noted. I assure you the evacuation is 100% necessary and only a temporary measure. 0:44:31 Unknown_24: My priority is the welfare of the living. Unknown_24: morgue temperature. You know, 0:45:33 Unknown_24: that work i feel like i'm not doing that correctly there's no like confirmation missing a coolant but it's in oh i need like a fourth okay i got you find a trauma kit uh Unknown_24: i mean i'm a i'm a little bit hard pressed be like hmm i should go find this coolant tube because there appears to be a paleolithic monster that is hunting for me i'm just not like oh yeah let me go hide in the morgue 0:46:34 Unknown_00: Wow. 0:47:21 Unknown_03: Samuels there's a doctor Lingard senior medical officer should be able to find out where they're keeping everything in her office Good luck Ripley if you want to stomp around stomp right towards us don't as loud as your spindly anorexic arms will commit I 0:48:15 Unknown_24: Fucking kidding me. Unknown_24: Get to send crystals. I'm in the wrong place. Unknown_23: Right. 0:48:50 Unknown_14: I mean. I have a giant green circle is on the fucking elevator. Unknown_24: Okay, I understand. Time to get into the spooky vent. 0:49:23 Unknown_24: Spooky vent that there appears to be a giant dinosaur. There appears to be a giant dinosaur that's chasing me right now. 0:50:21 Unknown_24: He's right below me, is he not? Unknown_24: Like, he's stomping. He's not, like, in the vents. Unknown_21: Where you at? 0:51:05 Unknown_24: Am I just supposed to take a blind leap of faith down the fucking shack? 0:51:44 Unknown_24: Don't you fucking dare. 0:52:17 Unknown_24: I'm not even in the right fucking room. Oh, fuck. 0:53:13 Unknown_24: like off um what am i looking for search oh i have to access the terminal is there not a way to close that thing like an emergency close button for that i feel like there should be dispensary is empty Unknown_24: Death certificate for Foster C. Classified. No audio. Report Lingard. Statement recorded November. Lingard Center, Crispo Medical Facility, Operating Theater. Unknown_12: This is Lingard. Senior Medical Officer, Sevastopol Station. I want to... Unknown_24: Anybody got a headset? Does my headset have an audio jack in it? 0:54:13 Unknown_12: I have been placed under duress with regards to the cover of my patient zero. Unknown_12: And Ransom, season's head of operations, he made certain threats for my career and my certification. I want that on record. Unknown_12: God. Unknown_12: I didn't know what type of parasite she had encountered, but it had planted something inside her. Unknown_12: I am so sorry. Unknown_12: I had no way of knowing what would happen. 0:54:55 Unknown_24: I learned nothing from that. Unknown_14: What did I learn from that? Unknown_24: Search operating theater for trauma kit. Unknown_24: That's pretty fucking far away. Is it? I mean, I activated the map and everything. How far is that from here? 0:55:43 Unknown_24: It's just stopping where I need to go, right? Unknown_14: Sneed flare. Unknown_24: Kinda reluctant to waste my flares. Unknown_24: Ah dude, the other way. 0:56:53 Unknown_24: Bitch. What are you doing? Stop moonwalking. Unknown_24: So now what? I can't go that way, right? Because there's like a big fire. Unknown_24: How long is he supposed to just stay there though? 0:57:44 Unknown_24: Now I have to go all the way back to the... Unknown_24: right like i have to go all the way back to lingard's office watch the cut scene again and then not trigger don't play in the game look i'm just saying that the cut scene happens and that's the appropriate time for a save point 0:58:40 Unknown_12: And then it should say save in progress. Unknown_24: Progress saved. Unknown_24: Progress saved right here. Unknown_24: Get the map. What fucking map? Unknown_20: Oh, this one. Unknown_20: Okay No fucking explosion happens for the giant dinosaur but for the danger 0:59:47 Unknown_24: then we have a problem. Unknown_24: Beep boop, human player detected in room. Menacing, menacing. Unknown_24: Menacing, menacing. 1:00:19 Unknown_24: Oh shit, that's the wrong button I pressed Q I pressed the Q button, that's the back button Unknown_24: stand your ground stay back we will defend ourselves apparently you cannot open the um the uh the radio menu while within the locker oh i'm not even close to the fucking operating room i thought this was it 1:01:31 Unknown_23: Oh, this is why it's safe here. Unknown_24: Okay. Unknown_24: Great wonderful. I'm actually really pleased. I was surprised I thought they were gonna make me go all the way over to the fucking um The surgical room all the way over there before I could save Dr. Molly, I don't care if I think what you think I need to do. I want to I want you out of san cristobal now Unknown_24: you know what we've set up here i'm truly sorry for what it means to the patients who can't be moved but this is the only way there'll be no further warning really i need you at a medical set up a shop in habitation tower people are fighting over supplies we've got more injuries coming in we have to deal with them uh two five zero five linger medical ward has been locked down Dr lingard, this is good 505 chat remember it your friendly six and chief executive Good job chat. 1:02:55 Unknown_23: Good job. You don't call aren't we pals anymore? Oh, well, we're both busy people and after all I have lots of other friends Some of them have badges One of them told me you called marshall waits about uh, shall we say interesting find? Unknown_17: Actually, I should save again. Let me save again. Let's see. Why is there a hostel nearby? 1:03:59 Unknown_24: I sprint. I walk three steps. Unknown_24: So therefore. 1:04:42 Unknown_24: oh fuck i mean i only i only saw him jump up into the fucking vents i didn't think that he would immediately like jump down that's the fastest he's ever moved Unknown_24: I guess the fuckhead has a key card too. All right, this door's gonna open I want you to do it Okay, hug the left 1:05:50 Unknown_16: Holy shit. Unknown_23: I just shit myself. Unknown_24: There's nowhere to hide in here. Unknown_24: How do you see me? Really? 1:06:47 Unknown_24: I'm a snake. I'm a slippery little snake. Unknown_24: I'm a slippery little snake. You can't find me. Unknown_25: What the fuck? 1:07:25 Unknown_24: Don't you fucking dare you cocksucker. Do you not realize that there's a fucking alien? Unknown_24: I i cannot believe i survived retard alien mechanics like that and then there's just some with a gun right there all right i was i was very spooked i was not expecting humans to be around 1:08:26 Unknown_24: Humans, they were humans! Unknown_22: Um... The fuck is this asshole? Unknown_21: Fuck it, I'm going. 1:09:03 Unknown_16: Some fucking assholes walking around. Unknown_16: Samuels, I've got the meds. Unknown_07: We're at the transit station outside medical reception. Ripley, we heard gunshots. And if we heard them, so did the creature. 1:09:39 Unknown_24: Hey, asshole, there's like eight million people out there who are trying to fucking kill me. Unknown_24: Your dumb ass could be productive for a moment and go kill them. I would really fucking appreciate that shit. Unknown_24: Dusty cunts. Oh no fuck off. Unknown_24: I didn't mean to call you a dusty cunt bitch I can't fucking believe he there's people like turning around and shit And with guns shooting and then he's just like right on my ass the entire time 1:10:22 Unknown_24: Okay, I see no fucking dinosaur on my thing. Put in the key cord, pull it out. Unknown_24: Everything's fine, go down the dark spooky hallway. Unknown_16: Let's go into hell in here, Samuels. Unknown_21: Here it has, get the shit. Unknown_16: Take the thing. I've got the meds. 1:10:55 Unknown_07: And the ID card. We're at the travel station outside medical reception. Ripley, we heard gunshots. And if we heard them, so did the creature. Unknown_21: Don't have time. I will play this. Unknown_11: We've had something go down here in San Cristobal. Tape off the scene and make sure it's not touched until Garcia comes in with forensics. So where was the fu- 1:11:46 Unknown_24: There are definitely humans in there doing shit. Unknown_08: This is like Alien vs. Predator, and the Predator is some dude with a gun. That call reception's a no-go. 1:12:42 Unknown_06: I can't get out. That's the only way through. Ripley, this is a public hospital. There has to be an evacuation procedure. Unknown_24: Are they like working together? 1:13:19 Unknown_24: I shart under a table and i'm getting fucking eaten. These guys are walking around with guns all willy-nilly like I wonder what's going on around here And they're just okay Do you not hear that guy right there Really bitch do you not hear him 1:13:57 Unknown_09: Right at the door, ain't you? Unknown_24: Well then so is that lame asshole. Unknown_24: really you don't see him you don't see that guy right there what what what what what what Do you fucking mind? I mean, how am I supposed to interpret that other than they are working together? That is like classic cooperation tactics. 1:15:58 Unknown_15: All receptions are no-go. Unknown_06: I can't get out. That's the only way through. Ripley, this is a public hospital. There has to be an evacuation procedure. 1:16:43 Unknown_24: Okay, you know what? Unknown_21: I'm about to shoot that dude. Unknown_24: There's not even a dude. He's just gone now. 1:17:39 Unknown_21: I'm a little bit defeated at this point because it's like I Unknown_24: After the great meme-ification of the dude. Unknown_24: It's like, okay, if I walk out into that corridor, there's like a 50% chance that she can just see me right away. And then I go up the corridor and I go to the door. She'll always go there after I go to the door. She's like scripted to go to the door. And then there's like another 50% chance that there's going to be a dude with the gun right there blocking the way. And then... 1:18:37 Unknown_24: She will completely and totally ignore the existence of this person at all times. 1:19:18 Unknown_24: Oh my god, it happened. We killed the other man for once. Unknown_23: See, that felt like really random. Unknown_06: I've been through this how many times? Unknown_24: And that's the first time that she's like, yeah, actually, you know what? Fuck this dude in particular. 1:20:14 Unknown_24: what's this investigate sand crystal save the game that's what it says it says in plain text save the fucking game okay that was really rough that part of the game is like um i'm not being like intellectually challenged here i just feel like i'm being deep dicked by the fucking random options going on at once Unknown_23: Well, this thing. Unknown_24: Yeah, this is normal. I'm not playing on, like, super autism or whatever. I have no idea what I just did. I'm investigating the medical procedures, apparently. Based. 1:21:25 Unknown_24: Okay, now what? I have to activate both of them. 1:21:59 Unknown_21: There's a monster in that. Unknown_21: He's ogling. Unknown_24: Nah, man. Really fucking far from okay. Unknown_24: What am I supposed to be doing here? 1:22:48 Unknown_24: God, there's so much coom coming out of this. What the fuck was that? Oh my god, that robot's gone crazy. Unknown_24: He's dancing. He's doing like Kanye West dancing. He's happy-feeting. What the fuck? Unknown_24: This is super dangerous. Unknown_24: Can you like, can you put that away from me? Can you put that away faster, maybe? Oh, geez. 1:23:42 Unknown_23: He's really pissed off, I guess. Unknown_21: Oh no, there's two robots now. 1:24:33 Unknown_24: I really the fuck am I doing? Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna be real with you guys This is scaring the fuck out of me because i'll tell you this is a true story Unknown_24: there was in disneyland or disney world my in florida a when i was a kid a attraction called 1:25:10 Unknown_24: Oh, man, I don't even remember what the fuck it was called. It was an alien thing though. It was based off alien It was uh, and they've they've just it was so scary That they've destroyed it. They've made it a um a thing that's now like a Who's the little guy that has like he's like a little space alien encounter. That's it. That's the fucking name They've replaced it with some bullshit like a little kids thing um No, I swear, this is not like, oh, Disney, how can, it's not like I met a mascot and Pluto scared me or whatever the fuck. There was this thing. Yes, the Lilo and Stitch. This guy is Florida. This guy is from Florida, Rob Rob. It's a Lilo and Stitch thing now, and what it was, it was a 3D experience where you were walked in, and it's this thing you sit in this huge auditorium it's like a circle of seats in a theater facing inwards and at the middle is this pipe and it's a 3d experience where there's like air that blows on you it even sprinkles you with water at some point so it's like you hear guys rolling around the vents like don't worry the power is coming back on we're fixing it and there's like an alien hunting them i'm pretty sure it's based off this movie series and they the alien gets the guys that are talking to you and they like crunch the bones and it sprays you in the face with a little sprinkle of water it's really really heavy it's really intense it plays with all your all your sensations the seats vibrate and shit the tunnel shows the aliens and then it goes dark and you hear like glass shattering and it sprays you again in the face with water so it feels like glass is on your face it's really intense to the point where they got rid of this um They got rid of it and replaced it with a much more mild Lilo and Stitch thing that has like, instead of like bones crunching, it's like Cheeto dust. Like you smell Cheetos in the air or whatever, because he's eating Cheetos while crawling around in the vents or whatever. And it's like that. It's a completely different thing. But this, I went with it with my mom and it was very frightening because I was a little kid. And afterwards, I'm just kind of like quiet. I'm just like really shaken. And I'm quiet and I'm standing out in Disneyland or Disney World. And my mom hooks up with her sister, my aunt. And they're like, oh, dude, you got to go see Alien Encounter. It's really scary. So we get back in line. And I'm like, I don't want to go again. Which is like oh, well you have to I can't just leave you out here when we both go see alien encounter and i'm not gonna like ditch the ride so that I'm not gonna miss it, you know, just so I can like because you don't want to go So I like I like throw a proper fucking fit. I throw like a tantrum I do not want to go back on this ride and uh, my mom forces me to go on it again And there's another kid in line. He's like all snow. He's a little bit older. He's like It's just like fake. It's just like animatronics, bro. Like don't be afraid Fuck you, bitch 1:27:59 Unknown_24: um i feel like i'm desperately lost in here i feel like the alien is like programmed to get me in here if i Unknown_24: Yeah I hear the fucker I think going down here was like a bad idea Oh, yeah, it was a bad idea 1:29:08 Unknown_24: Ah, I have to redo the fucking thing again Okay, next time I will not I will not do the uh I've noticed that like the vent is just like the worst fucking thing every time you're in the vent You have no idea what's going on. The scanner doesn't work The audio like the the audio helps like you can tell what's going on. But at the same time the um Unknown_24: The AI seems programmed to loiter near the exits to like intimidate you. Unknown_24: I need to jump? Unknown_24: What the fuck does that mean? You can't jump in this fucking game. 1:30:10 Unknown_24: Oh, there is. Oh, those are where the robots are. Unknown_24: Okay, I understand now. Oh, there's like a long cooldown time. I probably could have accessed the fucking thing in that time. Ripley, are you okay? Unknown_24: Ripley? Stop coomin'. Can I like walk past this? 1:30:44 Unknown_24: Yes. Matter of fact, I can walk past this. Unknown_24: This reminds yeah, like the way that things powered down like the shape of this room. It's very reminiscent of alien encounter Fuck off Okay, let's see what I can do I am stuck in this room The robot is very pissed off about me being in this room Robot is a part of the storyline. I have to be in here. I'm sorry. I'm not, like, trying to close the door or anything. 1:31:16 Unknown_24: Just let me get the fuck out. Unknown_24: That door does not work anymore. Unknown_25: Ah! Fuck! 1:32:14 Unknown_24: We're back in the main room that reminds me of the traumatic childhood event of my life. And we're gonna redo the fucking thing yet again. Unknown_24: You must relive the trauma If you think we are near the breakthrough If we expose you to the Lilo and Stitch right enough times you will overcome the trauma and you will stop the cyberbullying Why don't you just give us the last of all the safekeeping protocols? 1:33:05 Unknown_24: Can't go in there if I even if I wanted Who to combat my cyber bullying initial incident? I would be unable to because they've demolished the ride because it was too scary. I 1:34:14 Unknown_21: I guess he just doesn't notice me. Unknown_24: Okay, I'm done with this. Unknown_18: God fucking dammit, can you put down the stupid fucking thing any faster, you piece of shit? 1:34:54 Unknown_24: Oh look, it's the guys who wanted to murder me, but the fucking asshole didn't kill. Unknown_05: Heh, aww. Unknown_24: it was nothing must be the wind appears that the entire facility is falling apart sir that's nothing bro trust me on this this is fucking cunt is just gonna like watch me the entire time 1:35:49 Unknown_21: I guess not. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Unknown_21: Just skedaddling. Unknown_21: Just gonna skedaddle on out of here. 1:36:22 Unknown_23: Use vuvuzela. Unknown_23: Oh, okay. I didn't go to the right place Going into events Unknown_26: Gah! 1:37:39 Unknown_23: Imagine the alien as PPP is for a horror game Unknown_24: Andy Worsky jumps down. Andy Worsky is crawling along the ceiling like a monster. And he drops down on you, and then he pounces on you. And then he just says, felted, buddy. And then the little tongue comes out, and that's PPP's face. And then you get killed by that. You get mogged by this. Unknown_24: I feel like there is something I'm missing here. I feel like I'm going to die. 1:38:29 Unknown_24: Is there like a thing to reprogram? I guess I can run, huh? Emergency override? Unknown_24: That doesn't feel right. Unknown_24: That's not it. No power override. Ethanol. and I'm a writer covering Sevastopol's decommissioning. Unknown_02: I was hoping to interview you about your experiences on the station. You know, the limited medical resources, the mental effects on patients in deep space, that kind of thing. 1:39:04 Unknown_02: But look, Doctor, I've heard there was some kind of incident in the hospital recently. No one seems to know anything. Doctor, if there's a major public health issue here on Sevastopol, people need to know. Unknown_02: I'm freelance. I don't have any corporate affiliation. Unknown_24: I'm like the biggest fucking retard in the world. Unknown_24: I mean, I'm definitely supposed to go through there, but the door do be locked. 1:39:42 Unknown_24: There does not appear to be a terminal that I can use to reprogram the fucking door. Unknown_24: This door is open. Is there a vent on the floor that I can crawl through? Unknown_24: No? Okay. Unknown_24: It's in the ladder? What ladder? When have I been required to use a fucking ladder before? What ladder? What fucking ladder? Unknown_24: What ladder are you- Identify to me the ladder that you are talking about. Ladder in reception. 1:40:20 Unknown_24: There is no fucking ladder in reception. Unknown_24: Where'd the alien go? Unknown_24: There is not a ladder in here. Unknown_24: Behind you, jump the ladder in the fire? Oh yeah, my health is going... Well, I'm sorry, but there's no fucking ladder in reception. Unknown_24: I still don't see it. 1:40:58 Unknown_14: There was no ladder in Outlast either, just so you know. 1:41:36 Unknown_24: What ladder bitch, you know where a ladder is Have you seen a ladder around here I think he knew where she knew where the ladder was I Unknown_24: how nobody nobody would ever look here why would you're trying to escape past the door and you're going to assume that the fucking ladder that's literally on you could not climb this ladder your hands would burn off of you Unknown_24: I'm sorry that I'm just so logical that it appears unlogical to your monkey brain. Look at this shit. You would fucking die. My suspension of disbelief is ruined. The alien I can handle. The climbing a burning metal ladder. Nah, fuck that. That ain't real. 1:42:38 Unknown_24: Oh look, there was a jump button. Unknown_24: Oh no, now I'm in danger. Can I do a pull-up after climbing a molten hot ladder? Oh thank god I can do a pull-up after climbing a molten hot ladder. 1:43:40 Unknown_24: Space Steel. Everyone knows that Space Steel has an alloy property that keeps it at a comfy room temperature even when exposed to open fire. This is well known. 1:44:16 Unknown_24: Oh, good. It's on fire now. Wonderful. Um... Have I gone the wrong way? Unknown_24: Find an ultra... Wow, thanks, elevator. Wow, cool. Awesome. Unknown_24: Warning. Space fire detected. You are now booted off the elevator. Goodbye. 1:45:11 Unknown_24: I think this might be a good time for a pee break chat. Unknown_24: Because I'm going to become more and more impatient. I'm already extremely impatient. Unknown_03: There's a piece missing. I need to fix that. Unknown_24: Okay, yes, this is the appropriate time gamer bottle Okay chat go pee. What's your moment your break chance? 1:47:40 Unknown_14: Dilation break. Unknown_24: Are you all freshly dilated? Have you all I'm healed the wound I'm loose down there. Unknown_14: Great. Unknown_24: It's important to be loosey-goosey. I Unknown_08: Um Let's take an appraisal of the situation chat We got bad guys up ahead. 1:48:25 Unknown_24: We have a stinky black hole right here Oh, it seems obvious to me what's going on Unknown_24: So whenever I see dilation stories posted on like telegram or whatever I wonder if they're even real Because someone was posted a story where it's like hey, I was dilating and my vagina started to poop and fart It's like is that normal is that normal for your vagina to poop and fart do women's vaginas poop and fart I think I heard something. No, you didn't Forget it guys. 1:49:03 Unknown_07: It was nothing Unknown_24: I may have to murder this man. Unknown_24: Where's my, where's my thing. Unknown_06: Remind me why I agreed to this contract. Unknown_24: Where am I going? Unknown_24: Find a compression cylinder to repair the elevator. Unknown_24: It looks like a cylinder. 1:49:36 Unknown_24: But it's not a compression cylinder I have a noisemaker But why would I throw why would I throw one of my valuable tools I Don't know what the fuck I'm going. I Unknown_24: well any complacent cylinders down here nope i don't think so glad i found you guys well i'll make some stuff here i can't make a battery i will make a more med kit though i do need some of those i'll make about 3ds 1:50:42 Unknown_24: Do a thug shaker or a thug shit. No, but I Make another noisemaker Why didn't they shoot the alien, um the alien You can shoot the alien but it has a hardened carapace made of um aluminium Unknown_24: You can't, your bullets will simply whack us there. 1:51:28 Unknown_11: No, don't. I don't know, I guess. Unknown_24: Very, very sneaky. Unknown_24: Okay, so far so good. Unknown_24: Find a compression cylinder. 1:52:00 Unknown_24: Not to be confused with a compression bra. Unknown_24: Um, report Smythe had the synthetic development. I received schematics for the whatever. I don't know how much we paid our mole, but the Sigson board is going to need to shell out a hell of a lot more. I know this seems like old tech for Whalen Utani, but it's beyond anything we're capable of. Our key executives and shareholders won't listen, but we need investment. The company and all its subsidiaries are at light years ahead of us. 1:52:35 Unknown_24: I've been looking over... Or Smithy, I guess is how you pronounce that, right? Unknown_24: I've been looking over your report for Weyland-Yutani androids and proposals for imposing the Working Joes. Now, I appreciate the work you put in, but I understand we live in different worlds. Yours is full of extrapolations and estimations. Mine has an executive suite and $8,000 suits. Bottom line is, I've got to look after the money, buddy. I hired because you're the cheapest, not the best. Find a way to bring these costs down, huh? Ransom out. What an asshole. 1:53:09 Unknown_24: I would not be like, oh, I can't wait till I... Unknown_24: to help you. Unknown_24: Kind of seemed like a dickhead. Unknown_13: This whole station's got to be shit. We've only done what we had to. 1:53:47 Unknown_23: Sorry, I thought I saw something over there. Unknown_17: Had to be done, I guess, but it was your idea, not mine. Unknown_24: Computer, the hard drive clicking that they have for that intentionally sounds like the alien clicking. Unknown_24: Working for Joel Spiel. Russell, here's my spiel for the potential clients today. What do you think? Spedding? Well, no, not speds. Well, hang me out to dry if they don't bite. Welcome, gentlemen. Welcome to the buzzing heart of Sevastopol Synthetic Solution. Next up on your tour will be the SysTech Spire and the Apollo Core itself, but first an example of Android self-governance. When Apollo synthetics require a little more care than the repairs words can reply, they come here. 1:54:19 Unknown_24: so this is like his script for like the tour they want to do so jumping wrestle upstairs once a full run down what we've got stocked in component storage there's some useful stuff in there some junk they want to value estimates too Unknown_24: I guess that they wanted sevastopol to be like a tourist center. But then oh, oh my god Praise This game really makes you thankful for some fucking save checkpoints What did I get an upgrade to If we see it we just run 1:54:57 Unknown_24: yeah man all the dead bodies everywhere kind of does that huh wow this is ominous have i missed the uh whatever the fuck 1:56:11 Unknown_24: Molotov. What the fuck is that for? Unknown_24: Damn, that's very expensive. Holy shit. Unknown_24: Um... Um... 1:56:52 Unknown_24: That's weird. What's the point of including that information? Unknown_24: We changed it because it was German and it upset people. Unknown_13: That's a really unfortunate name Wow, I do not like this room at all. 1:57:48 Unknown_24: Oh, this is a morgue. No wonder why no, it's not it's like a cryo sleep thing. Oh Unknown_24: No, this is the synthetics lab. Unknown_24: Those are all robots. Unknown_24: Security access to an upgrade. Find a way to power up the requisition android. 1:58:25 Unknown_24: Are you a cylinder? Okay. Unknown_24: Find a way to power up the requisitions. Android, find a way to open the door to the warehouse. 1:58:57 Unknown_24: That's like condensation. Unknown_24: I guess there's no point to this until this room becomes hostile because those it Those fucking robots are definitely going to come alive. I'm going to turn on the fucking The requisition robot that I need and then that robot's going to come alive and he's going to be a dickhead 2:00:50 Unknown_24: um don't go into the stinky room i guess it would be nice if the stinky room alerted me to the stinkiness Unknown_24: It has a yellow sting cloud. Okay. But has anything gaseous done damage to you so far in this game? No, sir. It has not. Okay. 2:01:33 Unknown_24: requisitions android spending now you fired me and you'll have to descend from your ivory tower to pick up the slack the guy is decommissioning sevastopol of free access to supplies and storage but everything will need logging so use the requisitions android power him up let him out of his box and watch him go just like me huh by the time you get this i'll be dead drunk in gillan's bar i guess you already know this it's been pure hell working for you the best thing that's never happened to me this is the best thing that's ever happened i'm smithy i just got another message from spedding about the busted elevator outside the android extermination or examination theater my guys have gotten a million things to do right now so it's not going to be fixed in time for your vip visit if spedding wants to be a priority then maybe he should stop being a petulant an easy job off the top of my head i can tell you how tell you the parts you need are in the component storage row one stack b You can't find it yourself ask the requisitions android just get off my back row one stack b It was pronounced smythe and not smithy what the fuck Maybe he pronounces it wrong just because he doesn't like the guy That's got me pissed 2:02:47 Unknown_13: Hello, you have a robot Unknown_03: Now play nice. Unknown_08: How can I help you? Unknown_03: I need a compression cylinder. Unknown_08: Components warehouse. Unknown_07: Row one, stack B. Follow me. Unknown_15: Just keep the noise down, okay? 2:04:10 Unknown_24: whole smithy is dead how come the requisition android is the only one that's been trained not to kill people um i don't think i can get there bro Unknown_24: That shit looks dangerous. Unknown_24: Oh my god. Holy shit. Unknown_24: His pathfinding wasn't up to snuff. Unknown_24: Okay, this is not the correct way, I guess. 2:05:08 Unknown_24: Um... Okay? 2:05:48 Unknown_24: That looks dangerous. Unknown_24: And I can't activate this thing from while standing on. Unknown_00: Am I a retard? 2:06:22 Unknown_24: it said move up yes i know yes okay okay so i have to get across this thingy that thing you will kill me i can do this from Unknown_24: I can move these, so that is important. Moving the thing is important. Unknown_24: Is important to my thing. Unknown_24: Maybe I can move... I can't. Unknown_24: Okay, if I aim down, I can move it down. So let's try moving these, because I know those other ones won't really seem to do anything obviously beneficial to me. Unknown_24: Now I can walk this way. Aha. There does appear to be a path this way that I can follow. I can move these as well, but I don't want to do that yet. Unknown_21: I know what I'm going to do. 2:07:22 Unknown_24: at the end of this row, so now I can... Ah, the only thing. So that's it, right? The ominous music is not doing anything to instill confidence in me at this moment. Unknown_24: It does appear to be a monster in the vents. Unknown_24: Does not seem, does not instill confidence in me at this moment. 2:08:05 Unknown_24: Um, the next step is to move to the elevator. Before that, I will go back up and I will save. 2:08:42 Unknown_24: Imagine making an AI and programming it to be me. What is the point of such things? Unknown_24: Okay, asshole's that way. I have to get across that way, but I, um... I avoided them the first time somehow. Oh yeah, this red just went around. Unknown_17: Hey, what was that? Sorry it was nothing you can say now they hear me But maybe there's going to be a scripted thing where they all get killed by a monster I ain't done 2:09:19 Unknown_24: What's with the music? It's so tense. Unknown_24: The music feels unnecessarily tense at this moment. I feel like what happens is that when the music gets triggered, like when you get noticed, it starts up this really tense building, but the building doesn't terminate if you reach safety, and it really should. 2:10:31 Unknown_10: I'm glad I found you guys. Would the game be more scary set in Detroit? Unknown_24: Maybe. We've got a sleep suit. I can't hack much more of this. Unknown_06: The hell was that? 2:11:21 Unknown_24: Now to put in the cylinder. Unknown_24: Nice and quiet. Nobody. Stall. Unknown_22: Thing. Unknown_24: The smell when you picked it up, that is true. Unknown_24: That is completely accurate, it is. No objective yet, so. And we'll save again. 2:11:56 Unknown_24: Alrighty now. Unknown_24: Oh. Oh no. Unknown_24: Oh, no, these are the doors that they're using for Monsters Inc Don't shoot the children you're supposed to scare them I 2:12:47 Unknown_20: He's shooting at me are you shooting at me? Unknown_24: You motherfucker The fuck is that I think I did get I took the elevator to detroit Now the homies is wild and shit Unknown_21: The music has just gotten very spooky. I'm not particularly inclined to go into that scary butthole. 2:13:32 Unknown_26: This is bullshit. Unknown_24: Music is unnecessarily tense Honestly the music being so off sync with what's happening is like the worst part of the game so far I can't get someone from six and synthetics to look at my android I've just worked a 24-hour shift helping out with trauma patients and i'm at the dentist. What? I'm, sorry, but is there like something happening that I should be paying attention to? 2:14:22 Unknown_24: want to like shut it off um i need some extra help got an android down here perfectly i put chrome but he's gathering dust because apparently the same mouse are acting up on the other side of the station what the hell's going on with this place for now okay and that's it 2:15:01 Unknown_24: I really gotta figure out what the fuck he wants me to do. Hello? Unknown_24: Hello? Unknown_24: Find exit to synthetic fluid plant. Unknown_24: OK, I guess I'm going to go in the spooky butthole and sneak around. 2:15:36 Unknown_24: I feel like you know so far I'm not killing anybody but I really feel like I should just murder them you guys are shooting at me you guys are assholes Unknown_24: Oh my gosh, you're like freaked out. I will defend myself. Unknown_24: I will defend myself. 2:16:24 Unknown_20: They don't know what to do. Unknown_24: I'm too secure in the butthole. Unknown_20: i mean i guess i'm killing them i feel kind of bad i really don't want to i feel like there's a way around this without killing them 2:17:17 Unknown_24: The alien will just kill them anyways. Unknown_24: Well, you want to open up that can of worms. Doesn't the fact that they die anyway invalidate any meaning in their life? Unknown_24: I don't think so, chat. Unknown_26: I don't think so. I just need to see the family again. That's all I want. Unknown_24: Where there is a will, chat, there is a way. Unknown_24: It's like if I just stand there staring at them with my gun pointed at them. They're like, oh my god Look over there. There's a guy standing in the hallways with a gun. I just walk past them. They don't they don't care Low power, okay music you're doing it again 2:17:51 Unknown_14: Okay Josh is doing no kill run. 2:18:25 Unknown_24: I mean I just feel like I don't have to I mean, that's how I played do it deus ex Mac no, I didn't kill anybody either That was really hard when you had to save the helicopter lady Unknown_24: I would laugh if there was just like a an alien that just jumps immediately at you Like you picked the wrong door fuckhead moron Didn't you read the terminal that said don't do that door 2:19:48 Unknown_24: I mean, I'm aware that the thing is I watched the Mandalorian review because you guys kept telling me to do that. And he told me and well, Chad even told me never run. So I am aware that if I do run, the alien will show up in places where he otherwise or she otherwise would not show up. Unknown_24: I think a lot of I think there's one scene in particular where there's like an elevator and it's like a long time before the elevator actually shows up and a lot of like you expect that this is just like a scare the aliens aren't actually going to show up but if you do if you run around if you around her in that scene he'll kill you I sent you a clear directive not to land on station I told you we didn't hear your message we understood you would be me hey 2:20:39 Unknown_05: Identify yourself. Unknown_03: Ripley. From the Torrens. Unknown_05: Relax, kid. What the hell is going on here, Marshal? Where's the security forces? You're looking at them. Unknown_03: I've seen the creature. What is it? Unknown_05: I don't know. Something brought here by Marlow, the captain of the Anisadora. The ship that found the flight recorder? Unknown_03: Is there anywhere safe left on this station? That creature's running around and the seeks and synthetics are less than friendly. 2:21:10 Unknown_07: Goddamn androids. Ripley. Unknown_07: Taylor needs attention. Unknown_03: Medical's a no-go. Unknown_03: We can't take her there. Unknown_05: We have a basic life support unit back at HQ. Unknown_07: Then let's go. Unknown_05: I didn't screw up anything. The alien got caught in it. 2:21:44 Unknown_03: What the fuck do you want? Unknown_05: Asshole. Unknown_24: Imagine how annoying Sargon would be in space. Unknown_24: Have you even read Kant? Oh god, Kant. Whenever I think of Kant, I'm going to think of that shitty song called Be Deutsch, where the little Greta Thunberg girl yells at you, they can be whatever the fuck they want. Read Kant, you cunt. Haven't you even read Kant, you cunt? 2:22:22 Unknown_25: Hmm. Unknown_23: X marks the spot. Unknown_24: I can't sneed. Ah! 2:23:19 Unknown_25: If we just get Wayland the Atari to tweet hashtag gamergate it would trigger their lips Imagine how funny it would be Reactivate the transit at the main console. Unknown_24: That's the main console right there Unknown_24: Don't be a hero, buddy. Unknown_24: Never shut down the whole system before. I may not come back up at all. Unknown_04: No you don't. Unknown_24: Friendly, friendly. 2:24:24 Unknown_06: Oh what I didn't want to do this other teaming up. Unknown_24: Oh my god. He took a bullet from me. What a chad What an absolute chad Unknown_24: wow teamwork really makes the dream work huh robot so nice to have you helping me out i'm risking it i'm risking it all for the chicken dinner chat um well you're the one that's trying to kill me brother 2:25:21 Unknown_24: Don't you dare. Unknown_08: You're violating my N.A.P. Unknown_08: Oh, fuck you, buddy. Unknown_24: Okay, you're forcing my hand here, buddy. Unknown_06: Fuck! Unknown_24: Holy shit! Unknown_08: Why not ask me about your mom? 2:26:00 Unknown_24: Huh? Why not? Unknown_08: I'm not running. Unknown_24: You're the one running. Unknown_24: EMP and smack? I don't want to waste my EMP on this piece of shit. Unknown_08: There's got to be a way to close that fucking door. Unknown_24: No, you don't. 2:26:33 Unknown_24: give up okay i'll use an item i give up i give up chat wait wait shit fuck off i hate this fucking radial tool piece Unknown_24: Okay, fine. I hate games with items that are really scarce because then you're like, I don't want to use my fucking items. 2:27:26 Unknown_24: I can't be the only person that feels this way. I don't like using items that are scarce. Unknown_24: like there should have been like a thing that i could have used to like close the door like one of those emergency access things 2:28:34 Unknown_24: Um, listen, you crazy bastard think that thing gets around in a fucking transit car You're sitting on an override that'll disconnect the transit from apollo So fucking pull it you can stop all this bullshit just by pulling a lever You think you're safer with the transit powered down, but we're trapped like rats for god's sakes help us Got a heads up for you jackass. Don't even think about throwing it in with sinclair and the six insecurity guys I told them it was you that killed morrison if they see you they'll shoot you in sight You should have let me join you in your bolt hole. You won't last a week This was like after everything started going wrong Unknown_24: all shitty it is true like probably doesn't he doesn't get around in a transit car he gets around by spooky spooky things transit control that's right i knew there was like a thing i had to open what is this box over here why is there like a thing telling me about transit control 2:29:37 Unknown_24: I have to get something before I can do that. Or that's like below me or some shit. Unknown_24: You know, you need goggles to do this safely. Yeah, good luck trying to fucking do that. Quietly. 2:30:34 Unknown_04: The egg was cracked. Unknown_03: I can tell that that egg was still ready to crack. 2:31:08 Unknown_24: the way that he like momently looked at the barbie and the door went out like oh my god that egg was so ready to hatch do i want door access on or off i feel like i want it off Unknown_24: Yeah, my gay voice is very close to Mr. Slave. Mr. Slave just has all the stereotypical aspects of gay male speech pattern. How long have I been streaming? Two and a half? 2:32:04 Unknown_11: Okay. The most dangerous creature of all, the man. 2:32:40 Unknown_24: Wait, she told them to go ahead for like 10 seconds? Unknown_24: They couldn't wait like a couple seconds for her? That's stupid. Unknown_10: Maybe he's found a better site to rape. Unknown_09: More a way off this, fuck you. With that, today's the day we finally seal ourselves in with habitation rights. With that creature, we'd be dead by now, right? Unknown_24: Damn, there's a lot of them. Can I peek? Oh, I can wiggle. Whee! 2:33:22 Unknown_19: This car for Solomon's Habitation Tower. Unknown_19: You don't have to threaten me. 2:34:02 Unknown_14: hey yo oh no he's like you like get away from the monster and you're in like um Unknown_24: You're in the the cart and the cart takes off and like the nick of time You see the monster barely like almost gets like caught in the door almost And then you have a second you have a moment's pause and then the the tram speaker says Next stop brazil and you're just like shit yourself I thought I was safe. I thought I made it Colonial marshal bureau. Am I not in the right place? 2:34:49 Unknown_24: Have I completely fucked up? Unknown_24: I can't read this. This is in Japanese. Unknown_21: Oh, everything's... Oh, okay. Unknown_04: Ripley, we're in the Marshall Bureau. Just turn right at the top of the stairs. You can't miss it. 2:35:21 Unknown_03: No welcome, committee? Unknown_04: Just get up here. Wait's out. I prefer not to go through the metal detector. Unknown_24: That right, right? 2:35:53 Unknown_13: Turn around. Unknown_24: How do they get past these people? How did they, in the logic of the game, get past these fucking assholes? Unknown_24: They are enemies. Unknown_02: How am I supposed to tell? I was about to start shooting them. 2:36:47 Unknown_03: How's Taylor? Unknown_05: Stable. Should be walking soon enough. Samuels is with her now. Unknown_05: Okay. You managed to get transit up and running, so I guess we're even. Unknown_03: Where's Ricardo? Unknown_05: Prepping her next move. Look, I'm busy. I've got Marlow in the cells, the lowlife who showed up with your flight recorder. Unknown_03: Talk to Marlowe, it says. Unknown_05: Hello? 2:37:41 Unknown_03: Marlow? Unknown_09: Who wants to know? Unknown_03: My name's Ripley. I'm with the company. Unknown_09: Here for your empty box already? You guys are keen, I'll give you that. Unknown_03: I'm here for personal reasons. My mother was on the Nostromo when it went missing 15 years ago. Unknown_09: You serious? Shit. Well... Shit. We never found her ship, Ripley. Unknown_03: But you sure as hell found something else. What happened out there? 2:38:13 Unknown_09: I need a way out of here, Ripley. Maybe we can make a deal. Unknown_03: Just start talking. I want to know everything. Unknown_24: They said don't make a deal with Marlo. I'll make a deal with Marlo. I'll make a deal with whoever, you know. I'm here to make deals. We have the best deals. We have the best offerings. Unknown_25: We have the best station. Unknown_25: Dean change coming. Unknown_10: You get me, Lewis? A little fuzzy, Marlo, but you're coming through. Unknown_02: Let's take it slow. I want to get to that beacon in one piece. If you're looking for a piece, Foster, I've got something for you right here. I need scanning equipment to find it, Heist. 2:38:47 Unknown_10: Okay, enough already. Focus on what we're here for. Unknown_24: I don't want any mistakes. Holy shit. Unknown_24: I know I mentioned this at the start of the game, but this really is like... This is like one of the best-looking games I've ever played. I am actually in stunned disbelief that this is like a... What is it? An eight-year-old game? This was made at the same time as Outlast. 2:39:23 Unknown_24: The difference is like night and day. Unknown_10: There you are. Foster of Beaks, keep your eyes open. Unknown_26: Roger, sir. Unknown_24: like they still don't make games that look as good as this well things have regressed because um 2:40:03 Unknown_24: People just, like, stop caring. Everything is, like, so bloated. They don't bother compressing anything. This game looks great, but even the people, the old reviews said that it runs, like, amazing, like, on old computers for the time. Unknown_24: So it feels like they really, really work on optimization, which is why it looks so nice. Unknown_10: Don't worry. If it's a distress signal, they wouldn't have lasted, which means we get the salvage rights to anything we find. Unknown_23: I'll have a look around. 2:40:54 Unknown_10: See if I can find a weak spot. Wait here. Unknown_10: Gotta need a lift. Heist, over here. Give me a leg up. Unknown_24: After this sequence, hopefully this sequence won't be too long, I will save. Unknown_10: So is this like, in the movies, is this like the alien homeworld? 2:41:30 Unknown_24: It's like black and spooky like they are. Think I don't know humans aren't really like green and blue Yeah, I'm good it was a close one though don't think I'll be able to get back the way I came Where they found the alien ship The aliens had a ship? They were like flying around? That fucking ugly, ugly beast with the skeleton tail was just like, aye aye captain, we're setting 20 FTL knots, north-northwest, up. 2:42:03 Unknown_10: Borrow, we see you. Stay put. I think I found something. 2:42:34 Unknown_22: I guess I'm just going to go down. Unknown_10: There's a fissure in the rock. Stand back. I'm going to blow it. Unknown_24: Where? Unknown_24: Oh, no. Am I going to get stuck here in the easy... Is that not the fissure in the rock? Can I not blow it? 2:43:06 Unknown_24: Is this not... Help, I'm... Help, chat. Help. I'm mentally handicapped. I am confusing... Oh wait, I see it. I see it. It's blinking. It's blinking red. Unknown_24: Placing the bomb. Pressing the buttons. Unknown_24: Move back. Like that. 2:43:44 Unknown_24: I'm not a space woman. I'm playing Marlow. Unknown_24: Let's get going. Unknown_10: Follow me. Unknown_24: How the fuck does this guy know where anything is? I like his spacesuit design. Unknown_10: Heist, over here. Give me a light. Unknown_24: The guy's name is heist and his role is to heist them up is that is that deliberate? 2:44:36 Unknown_22: Oh Unknown_24: Um, this is an alien spaceship. Unknown_24: I have something to report guys, there's an alien spaceship ahead of me. 2:45:09 Unknown_24: Where did they get their spaceships? I'm scared. He's eating the human gay. He's got like a second gay little guy on him. See how he's eating them gay? Unknown_24: It's probably the funniest thing that's ever been generated by that stupid algorithm. Like feeding bullshit lines into a computer and getting them out. Unknown_24: okay chat answer me this about the aliens can they survive the vacuum of space 2:45:50 Unknown_24: Can the alien, like, skitter around outside of the spaceship? If so, why does he not simply break the ship, the hull of the ship, and kill everybody with the vacuum of space and then eat them that way? Unknown_24: Is that, like, not intellectual enough for him? Is he like an orca? He doesn't want to be fed fish. He wants to, like, murder fish. Unknown_24: Like, with a hunter brain. 2:46:37 Unknown_24: something big you don't have to eject the humans into space just vacuum out the uh the ship Unknown_24: people overestimate how much it's not like in that one really shitty uh jason movie jason in space where like there's a grill and the woman gets sucked through the grill and she's like blended past like the vacuum of space when the when the spaceship decompressorizes there is not enough force i've done the calculations for this i know this for sure there's not enough force to like suck someone out like through the eye of a needle in a spaceship when it decompresses Um, so if you decompress a ship everyone's just gonna suffocate or probably die for it's just from the lack of pressure So the alien could just just give them the suck. 2:47:18 Unknown_10: I don't want anything damaged and uh Not have to worry like then they could just eat them I would not be like oh yay We're in this horrific Unknown_24: We're in this horrific movie set. Like, this alien spaceship surrounded by horrors beyond our comprehension. Yes! Yes, this is the payday that we've been looking for. I would be like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna... We got this on film. I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'm gonna hand this off to somebody else. And I'll sell the Discovery for, like, a little bit of money. I'm not gonna, like, deconstruct this spooky-ass fucking spaceship myself. Fuck that. Unknown_02: We're not gonna like this. What is it? The tracks lead here. Same name that's on the flight recorder. Nostromo. 2:48:07 Unknown_10: Someone's already been here. Unknown_02: Maybe they abandoned ship and landed here. Unknown_10: I can see that. Unknown_02: Shit! If they were here before us, why is there no record of this place? Unknown_10: Well, if they're still alive, there goes our salvage. Let's find out. I'll find the beacon and shut it off. Don't want anybody else finding this place. Foster, Heist, check out the cavern below. 2:48:42 Unknown_09: I'm sorry, there's no fucking way. Unknown_24: There's not a fucking chance in hell I would get near this giant monster sitting in a chair. Unknown_24: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not a fucking chance in hell. Unknown_24: Where's the thing at? This is me looking for a bacon, right? Unknown_20: Where's the bacon at? Unknown_20: Touch it. 2:49:23 Unknown_20: Is this the bacon? Unknown_20: Is this the bacon? Unknown_24: And I guess it has to be over there, right? Unknown_24: My metal detector tells me that if I go into this spooky, moist hole... I'll find the bacon. No, for real. Let's fucking get through this. Oh, I have to wait for Heist to hoist me. Look at how resigned Heist is to his lot in life. 2:50:00 Unknown_24: You know, I see this slimy, moist, decrepit hole on this spooky-ass fucking planet, and I'm thinking, cha-ching, moolah. 2:50:33 Unknown_24: This is my lucky day. I can't believe I'm so fortunate to find this dank crevice that goes spelunking in. Unknown_24: Yeah, oh my god, holy i'm so lucky I can't even believe my luck right now I want to caress this thing in this dank hole that I found I don't know what happened but the beacon stopped broadcasting Marla you have got to see this it's amazing on my way 2:51:22 Unknown_24: This whole thing is covered in like zerg zerg creep I realize that's what it is. It's like a real human spaceship, but it's like covered in zerg creep Starcraft was inspired by the movie. Huh did not know that 2:52:08 Unknown_11: this place just keeps on giving here strap yourself in you guys are such mean words this place is like so rich with like money and for me i love money we're gonna be so rich when we get off this planet um i saw a little thing to go spelunking you know what there it is Unknown_24: Warhammer 40k has Zergs? Who are the Zergs in Warhammer 40k? I know there's the Necrons and the Orcs and the Ultramarines. Unknown_24: What the fuck is a Tyranid? 2:53:03 Unknown_24: Yeah, buddy. Unknown_24: I'm not feeling this Those are shaped exactly like chicken eggs And they're in ugly purple shit that we don't know what the fuck it is Could it possibly be under Unknown_24: Uh, yeah, like, fuck this. 2:53:36 Unknown_24: Are you for real? Unknown_24: Yeah, I would be shitting myself and getting the fuck out right now. That thing is moving. There's a fucking egg that is moving. Do you not know what the fucking egg is? Unknown_24: Bro. Unknown_24: You're retarded. Unknown_24: What are you- I- What- Unknown_24: What do you hope to accomplish? 2:54:13 Unknown_24: Okay, I'm saving now. This is the perfect moment if this is a thing that I'm going to continue doing. Unknown_03: Okay, we'll call it there. Unknown_24: Um, we have found the ship this man is out there cracking eggs with the best of them I got through the medical and uh, we will now be figuring out the mystery of the ship And there we go, okay Thank you. Oh my god. I completely forgot to read any of the um, the donation words. Oh, i'm such an asshole I completely forgot to bring bring the thing out and read them during saving moments 2:54:45 Unknown_24: I'm like the worst businessman ever. This is why it's not even like, even if I could process credit cards and shit, I would still be terminally unprofitable because I don't know how to make money. I don't know how to be polite to people who are giving me fucking. Watch, I say all that, and then I'm going to go to the donation page, and there's, like, nothing. There's, like, no super chats, and I just have to, like, pretend. I have to, like, Google something to read that to pretend. Moon Cricket for $2 says the alien is designed with two AI systems. One knows where you're at at all times, and one can confuse the first and make it fair. It's really interesting. that's how i mean that's how it feels the aliens obviously tracking you uh pretty well throughout the game and then it like has like a subsystem that like can it actually see you but it's obviously like always on your ass um which is kind of frustrating dodo faggins for pipe says this was a nice florida story thank you i'm glad my childhood trauma means something to you pink the sink for five says i remember the destiny aliens experience or the disney aliens experience i always had a fear of being blind when the lights went out i could not even i couldn't even see the exit signs that was ridiculous too intense for kids well apparently disney agreed with you because they made it like a shitty lilo and stitch thing now that i would never want to go visit but yeah it was it was it like abuses all your senses like when you watch a movie you think like okay even if it's loud and scary like 2:56:13 Unknown_24: it's a movie but then it it breathes on you it shoots hot air down your neck and you can hear it like in more than like fight like a surround sound there's like 80 different speakers that are throughout the entire theater and then like two are behind you and two are in front of you and it's just constantly bombarding all of your senses and it's really overwhelming uh when you're like a retarded little kid Keeley Archival for 10 says, here's a tenor. Love the gaming streams. I hope to see you play some Soma after this. Shout out to the birth. Shout out. Happy birthday to Jenny. Well, happy birthday, Jenny. I hope you. Unknown_24: I don't know. I guess apparently you watch my streams because he's saying happy. Shout out to happy birthday to Jenny. And if you didn't watch my streams, that would be extremely confusing. So happy birthday. A rat daddy to one says, if you like alien slash Geiger vibe, you should play score. And that's all the game is inspired by that Beck Sinky and Geiger. 2:57:07 Unknown_24: Um, well, I do like, I mean, this game is like really re like, you can tell there's an extraordinarily level of detail involved and the people who've made it probably really, really give a shit about the, um, the alien franchise and wanting to make a good game. Unknown_24: uh i mean so far it's it's not like obnoxious or anything there's a little bit of frustration with the ai because he seems to like always sit on your ass um but i figured out that if you just keep moving at all times um you can get through stages really quickly it's if you like allow yourself to bunker down and try to hide then you end up like the thumb up your ass for for you know what seems like 10 minutes at a time um but if you just keep moving at all times uh because the thing is that the alien moves at the same speed as you 2:57:55 Unknown_24: So if you just keep moving, you can never, it can't catch up really. Unknown_24: Um, and that's it. Okay. I probably would've made a little bit more if I, uh, I had remembered to read the donations, but the game is pretty engrossing. So I could slip my mind. Unknown_24: Soma's good. Okay, everyone keeps saying Soma. I don't know. I'll have to do some research. I have a list of things. But I'm not even close, right? I'm like two out of at least five streams for this. So it'll be Wednesday before I'm even done with Alien Isolation. And then I'll figure out what I want to play that weekend. And I will do this until... 2:58:30 Unknown_24: probably two more weeks i'll probably get through two more games after this um when mid-december rolls around i'm going to like power down a little bit i'm gonna um because my birthday my birthday is on the 19th i'm gonna i'm gonna i have one more like hail mary before i give up on the birthday silver thing i have a guy who may um accept mail for me near him at like a po box um so that that's the status update on that if he can't do it then i guess i'm just not gonna do it because i can't be you know it's too much of a pain in the ass it's not worth the risk i don't have to deal with like drones sabotaging um and then for the second half of december um i won't do much i probably should take the time to make a nice new year's stream the first new year stream i did was really nice because i went back over all the topics that i covered and i kind of did like a where are they now thing um throughout that year and if i if i can find the time to put in that effort it would be worth it because this the last two years felt like a lot has happened and it would be interesting to kind of just compare like go over like the the usual suspects um that i usually talk about and then cover them all like in a like how did their how did their year shape them over in retrospect and maybe do a retrospect on the forum as a whole for the year 2:59:28 Unknown_24: Okay, I will see you guys tomorrow, I suppose. We'll just keep doing this. And then, if not, I'll see you on Friday. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh, I didn't record this locally. I'm a fucking retard. Bye-bye.