Life is Strange 2: Episode 1 - Bad at Video Games 2019-12-18

0:00:00
Unknown_16: I've got weird audio settings today, which is hard for the course. I'm also really afraid because I'm using YouTube's new editor, like live streaming dashboard.

Unknown_16: Live streaming is not available right now. What the fuck does that mean? Does it's live?

Unknown_16: It literally this is how great YouTube's new dashboard is It said live streaming is not available now kick me off to the main thing and then show that exact thing exact same stream As being live so very much. So is live right now.

Unknown_16: I Am live. Yeah. Thank you. I know YouTube's just lying to me. I Maybe it's it's foreshadowing You won't be live for very long You keep this up if you make fun of these these teens in a strange part of their life Is the chat legible on the screen everything good?

0:00:34
Unknown_16: Everything everything looks great. Everything looks fantastic. I'm happy with it Walking some yes, exactly

Unknown_16: The feed is up. Oh man, I feel so good. I've been at like less than a megabyte per second down and something like less than 100 kilobytes per second up for for weeks and now I'm like 27 times more than that. I'm way faster right now. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling good. Today's been a good day because I have internet. I'm an internet person. I need internet to do things.

0:01:20
Unknown_16: Okay, this is the much-anticipated Life is Strange 2. People have been asking me to play this for an entire year, literally, because it's episodic, and they've been releasing episodes since early 2019. And just in time for my birthday, which is on the 19th, contrary to popular belief. Apparently people think my birthday is on the 9th.

0:01:53
Unknown_16: No, it's in two days. Intent. Nudge nudge. Get me something for my birthday.

Unknown_16: Just in time for my birthday they put out the fifth episode and I've been saying for a year I would play all the episodes to life is strange to when all the episodes were out to match Last year or the was it last year when was streamed on me because all those all those Life is strange episodes are gone except for the the first and the fifth and

Unknown_16: But the middle, the middle three are just gone. It was like my first video game playthrough because stream.me has been obliterated to the annals of history. It is never coming back.

0:02:25
Unknown_16: Contrary to popular belief, things can apparently disappear on the internet.

Unknown_16: Alright, let's see. Everything seems fine. That is a welcome change of pace. Let's boot up the game.

Unknown_16: I'm hoping that each episode is only like two hours. I'm going into this blind, by the way. I have no clue what this game is about. I know that the protagonist are two Mexican boys, perhaps of the LGBT variety. I am not 100% sure.

0:03:05
Unknown_16: Definitely not as interesting as Max or Chloe.

Unknown_15: Right off the bat.

Unknown_15: Oh, you guys can't hear the audio. I'm glad I caught that. I usually do not.

Unknown_15: You still can't hear the audio.

Unknown_18: Can you guys hear the game audio? Oh, no, it's fucked up. That's fucked up.

Unknown_18: Yeah, that's par for the course. That's just fucked up.

Unknown_18: Oh, aha.

0:03:40
Unknown_16: Aha!

Unknown_16: There we go. If there are issues with the game being too loud and you can't hear me, let me know.

Unknown_16: Trying to read chat. It's very difficult because it's so small on my screen.

Unknown_16: Okay. I have to agree to a privacy policy to even boot this up. I like how it touted that this was made with the Unreal Engine, which I don't know. It seems kind of like tongue-in-cheek making fun of it.

0:04:15
Unknown_16: I haven't been able to watch the killstream in forever because it's at like 4am for me. I've been a good boy, I've been going to bed and waking up at reasonable times, like a weirdo.

Unknown_16: Until the second logo is barely visible. I just want to play.

Unknown_16: I need my friend zone to see what's on the screen.

Unknown_16: Screen music? Oh yeah, the music choice for these games are awful and they get me copyright strike which is excellent. Thank you very much to the people who made this game for choosing copyright music so I can't stream it.

0:04:55
Unknown_16: How long does it take to load?

Unknown_16: It's on SSD. It should take a little bit.

Unknown_00: Is this a Call of Duty game? Am I driving?

Unknown_00: Do I get to drive? No I don't.

0:05:38
Unknown_00: Dispatch, I need to run a life check on that tent.

Unknown_14: Oh, I watch this. Oh, shit.

Unknown_12: Officer Matthews, I've got a 10-10 in progress. 1452 Lewis Avenue. It's a 10-10. I'm gonna need backup. Copy that.

Unknown_04: All backup available. He didn't do anything. It's gonna be all right. On the ground.

Unknown_16: It's so quiet.

Unknown_16: 10-53, do they have a code for psionic powers tipping over a police car? Is there like an alien invasion?

0:06:15
Unknown_16: Is that my computer? Or is that... Oh no, this is not my music playlist, this is the actual game.

Unknown_19: This is one of my favorite songs.

Unknown_16: This is unironically one of my favorite songs. I feel horrible. How did my favorite song get into this game?

0:07:05
Unknown_16: Is this really the game? There's no way. Yeah, it is the game, because when I alt-tabbed it stopped. This is my playlist. This game does not fit the cinematic at all. Aww.

Unknown_16: The harsh reality of Listomania ending and this game beginning. At some point, I would imagine.

0:07:39
Unknown_16: There's our hero.

Unknown_16: Pedro.

Unknown_16: Pirating my playlist.

Unknown_19: Is he a furry?

Unknown_16: How does he have a wolf squad hoodie?

Unknown_21: Okay, update time. You heard back from Jen yet?

Unknown_06: Um, no.

Unknown_06: I'm sure she'll reply at some point.

Unknown_21: Let me take a look at the situation.

Unknown_06: This is such a weirdo.

Unknown_21: These graphics are terrible. They look like Sims 4 characters.

Unknown_16: I thought Pedro was a homosexual.

0:08:26
Unknown_06: Okay, just don't make me sound like a loser. Oh, too late for that. I said matchmaker, not miracle worker. Hey, hold on. Let me check it before you send. Too late.

Unknown_05: Would it be awesome to see you there? What? I could have texted that.

Unknown_21: It's a good start. She'll text back. You'll see.

Unknown_02: So her pro tip was just to ask her out? Is he that meme where the guy is standing in the corner complaining about the party being too loud?

Unknown_21: Let me turn down the music a bit.

0:09:12
Unknown_06: It's dad wants to know if I'm coming home after school. I'm afraid to press He just cares about you Sean Anyway, you should be happy your dad's looking out for you Parties are horrible too.

Unknown_21: Oh, it's Jen saying she can't wait to see us at the party.

Unknown_16: What really?

Unknown_21: Yes, told you I would work my matchmaker magic.

Unknown_16: Hmm. I can't tell what ethnicity any of these children are So what should I wear tonight?

Unknown_21: Oh. That guy's sitting underneath the American flag.

0:09:45
Unknown_06: He's a bad guy. Yeah, I see he's being an asshole.

Unknown_16: We really need to- Who made these games?

Unknown_16: Oh, I want to know. Yeah, he was a white kid. He was sending me to the flag.

0:10:18
Unknown_21: Man, we need to find a couch for your yard one day. How do you know that this is her?

Unknown_06: Last time my dad almost busted me out here.

Unknown_21: Because you were alone? Your dad wouldn't bust me.

Unknown_21: He loves me.

Unknown_21: So you want a hit or not?

Unknown_16: Oh, my first option. Hell yeah. Wait, how do I... Yeah, okay. It's Friday. I can't press enter and achieve the result? Who's gonna remember this?

0:10:51
Unknown_16: Is his dad gonna come up there and be like, Dad, remember this?

Unknown_16: Am I gonna get carcinoma in the third chapter now?

Unknown_06: Thanks for making me smoke again.

Unknown_21: Oh, then I'll make sure you don't smoke any weed tonight. Deal?

Unknown_06: Deal.

Unknown_06: Can't wait to see you baked as hell trying to pull this off. Pull what off?

0:11:25
Unknown_16: What is she doing?

Unknown_16: You've had three minutes to establish what she's doing.

Unknown_21: I got that covered tonight. What else do we need?

Unknown_16: Eric said his parents don't leave shit at the cabin, so we better make an official party list. Hey, whoa! What the hell? Don't move! I'm a human post-it note. First, we need money for supplies, munchies, chips and dips, soda, etc. These better wash off. But of course, we must not forget the booze.

0:12:10
Unknown_06: I can probably snag a six-pack from that if he's got enough. You can tell this game is made by French people.

Unknown_06: Hey, did you ever think of maybe just sending a text instead?

Unknown_21: Hmm. Oh, right.

Unknown_06: Blankets.

Unknown_21: It's gonna get so chilly tonight. You and Jen are gonna need something to snuggle under.

Unknown_21: Oh, one last thing.

Unknown_21: C-O-N-D-O... Ugh, stop.

Unknown_06: You're out of room, punk.

0:12:43
Unknown_06: Oh, oh, I was startled.

Unknown_16: How do I? Oh, there it is. I have to mouse wheel. I can't use the up and down. I can't use my keyboard to navigate this very complicated game. I need to use my mouse.

Unknown_16: Wow, these are both awkward. Whoa, good drawing, Lila.

Unknown_06: Daniel's teacher would be proud of you.

Unknown_21: Can you imagine being friends with someone you can't trust not to draw dicks on your face when you fall asleep? That's why he hates parties.

Unknown_16: As someone who's once lived under a runway, you do not miss the planes.

0:13:34
Unknown_21: Will you still be my BFF? Will shit ever get better than 1452 Lame Avenue? Why is this?

Unknown_16: No, that's possible.

Unknown_21: I don't want to say that.

Unknown_16: Why would anybody ever do that?

Unknown_16: That's like, there's no less awkward... I'm already sick of you.

Unknown_21: You don't have to worry about that. Little I internet, come on.

Unknown_16: It's a proper noun.

Unknown_06: Like Kazakhstan. Or Israel.

0:14:19
Unknown_21: Skype me later when you're ready. Skype! Talk to you soon.

Unknown_16: Everyone's on Discord now. This game's already out of date. Can I move?

Unknown_16: No? Okay. Hands back in my lap. Nice and warm and comfy. I'll get another sip of soda while this develops. Oh, it's saving. Thank God.

Unknown_16: I can't forget my carcinoma story arc. Hey! Perfect timing. Just the son I wanted to see.

Unknown_06: Sure, I'm a little busy.

0:14:50
Unknown_10: Did you see Lila? She said we can go to the movies next week She said bug her not me.

Unknown_06: Maybe not exactly her type. You're lucky. She puts up with you. Oh Geez, thanks pop. I feel really supported right now. You're welcome. And now we need an objective judge

Unknown_06: Why is Chase so annoyed to interact with his family?

0:15:24
Unknown_25: I have to go get ready for a party and stuff.

Unknown_06: Just say who it goes to, you retard.

Unknown_25: I can't say that word all too much.

Unknown_16: I'm gonna get in trouble. Just say who it goes to, you exceptional individual.

Unknown_08: Hey, he swore.

Unknown_06: Yes, I heard tattle tale. Please, Judge Diaz, be an example to the court and society. Then you can go hook up or chill or whatever.

Unknown_17: Now, who deserves to eat this final choco crisp? I like the dad. Your adorable little brother who eats about ten bags a week.

0:16:00
Unknown_16: Okay, I get it. Let him choose.

Unknown_06: Or, your poor, suffering father who slaves over a hot engine to provide his family with a home and a garage?

Unknown_10: Me, me, me! Come on, Judge. Shhh.

Unknown_16: Let him decide. Come on. I want to give the dad the candy bar. Judge? These are the meaningful decisions I live for.

Unknown_06: Uh... Senor Diaz. Oh yeah. You're dunked on. Oh yeah.

0:16:47
Unknown_16: Okay, back to work. Literally, my choice did not matter in the most immediate and obvious way possible in that my choice was completely overturned within three microseconds of me picking that option.

Unknown_16: Oh, do I get to walk around now? Oh my god. Can I even remember the keys? It's been so long.

Unknown_06: Let's get this party list started.

Unknown_16: Oh, can I read my hand like in the... Let me turn down the talking a bit. I know you guys like to hear. That was something from Life is Strange, the first one, where you could right click or see what was on your hand. For some reason, they didn't add that and they added this really boring menu.

0:17:20
Unknown_16: Why would they do that?

Unknown_16: It was like a perfect way. I'm not bad into cars.

Unknown_16: But these are pretty bitching.

Unknown_16: And that she even wrote on his hand and he can't do it. I'm honestly, I'm still pressing buttons trying to figure what the fuck are the controls in the game like this? Not good.

0:18:03
Unknown_06: Better pack for the party.

Unknown_16: Um,

Unknown_16: Objective, hunt for munchies, find drinks for Eric's party, ask dad for money, and find a blanket. Okay.

Unknown_16: I could have taken that choco bar, though. Because, uh... Angry note.

Unknown_16: How do I- how do I- how- looking at this note from here, how does this young man ascertain that that note is angry? Is it like that- that letter from Harry Potter that just screams everything written on it?

0:18:39
Unknown_26: That's right. Que pendejo.

Unknown_16: Mr. Diaz, your property line overhangs on mine and your children are allowed and won't stay on their side. I have told you many times to build a legal, proper fence no higher than six feet according to Seattle Land Use Code between our two properties and you have not done it yet. You know my rights as a U.S. citizen. Maybe you don't. I expect you to follow the rules. Oh, oh, because he's a little bit of a taco or variety. He doesn't know. He doesn't know that you have to build a six foot tall fence.

0:19:11
Unknown_16: I might take you to small- I'm an asshole. Fuck you, Scott Vaughn Foster.

Unknown_16: That's a very, very, uh, European sounding name.

Unknown_16: Build the fence. I didn't even catch that.

Unknown_16: I can't just take the money. Real funny, dad.

Unknown_16: I'm not gonna steal the coins.

Unknown_13: I don't wanna steal his smoothie.

Unknown_06: What the? Is dad baking something? What the? Is dad baking something?

0:19:45
Unknown_16: This is a very complex metaphor. Yo, cookies.

Unknown_13: You're coming with me.

Unknown_16: Where'd he put that?

Unknown_16: Don't eat for Halloween. Oh, it says don't eat it.

Unknown_16: He did say chips and dips.

0:20:18
Unknown_16: So... I guess that's what I'm gonna take.

Unknown_06: Though I do like cookies more, I don't know why.

Unknown_16: Okay, well that'd be in the fridge.

Unknown_16: Burr?

Unknown_16: Well he would notice if I took the burr.

Unknown_16: Even though it's a light beer. I'll take the soda pop. Well, he does say, she said the booze. She said to get the booze. I am just following orders.

Unknown_16: And there we go.

Unknown_16: I am absolved from guilt. I can just blame it on Lila and her. She said that the dad loves her. So, uh,

0:20:57
Unknown_16: I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Are you ready for the party yet? Answer me or I'll take your hot dad. What?

Unknown_16: Lady, that is unacceptable. How do I answer? How do I say that? You're, you're being awkward and I need some distance from you.

Unknown_16: Oh, I guess he doesn't want to write.

0:21:29
Unknown_06: Okay, what else do I need?

Unknown_16: Ask dad for money and find a blanket.

Unknown_16: Blanket would be in the laundry room.

Unknown_16: Oh, by the way, look, this is walking. I'm going to press shift.

Unknown_16: Really? Ooh, wow. He's sprinting. I got that. I got that perk in call of duty where you run faster. Look at that.

Unknown_16: Died behind cover.

Unknown_06: Well, it's not my turn to do the laundry.

0:22:07
Unknown_16: Can I get that towel? That towel looks perfectly adequate. I guess, I don't know. I don't know what they need a blanket for.

Unknown_16: Can't I go to my room and get a blanket from my room? There we go. I hope the white guy comes back soon. Hey now, don't be picking favorites yet. I have a bad feeling about that, that young man on the porch with his American patriotism. Who's Harv?

Unknown_16: Who's Murphy?

0:22:41
Unknown_16: Oh, is he making a joke at his expense regarding his sexuality? That's not nice. We don't do that on this stream.

Unknown_16: Space rocket. Where is... I don't want to sit on the... I don't want to sit and draw. That's dumb.

Unknown_16: Okay, apparently my task of find a blanket cannot be satisfied with this massive comfortable looking duvet.

Unknown_16: Uh, so I guess I have to find the right one. I probably, you know what? I'm going to make a guess here. I'm going to go into my little brother's room and steal his blanket. Cause I guarantee you that's the moral lesson in this game. Oh, it's locked. Nevermind.

0:23:15
Unknown_16: Where's my dad? Let me get his blanket. In the garage.

Unknown_06: All right, dad, where do you put the blankets?

Unknown_16: Bro, there is one on your bed.

Unknown_06: I'm sure dad won't miss one blanket for the night.

Unknown_06: Okay.

0:23:50
Unknown_16: This is pretty easy. I'm not having to destroy anybody's life. That you, Sean?

Unknown_16: Yeah.

Unknown_06: Yeah. Don't get too excited, kid. You're making me nervous. Hey, since you're creeping around up there, Can you pass me the wrench in the top red drawer over there?

Unknown_06: Sure. Can do.

Unknown_14: What top red drawer?

0:24:21
Unknown_06: um there's no wrench here then somewhere else then take a look around only had magic it's a 16 millimeter reversible flex wrench jeez you can't subscribe to me

Unknown_06: Hold on.

Unknown_16: I'm not, I'm not, I'm not the caliber of entertainer. 16 millimeter reversible.

Unknown_06: Is that it? It says 16 millimeter on it. Remind me never to get old. Hey, it beats the alternative.

Unknown_06: Hey, I got it. I think.

Unknown_06: Nah, I need one with the black switch on it so I can change its direction.

0:25:09
Unknown_16: such a failure man who doesn't know tools that's right he said he said 18 or 16 didn't it no that's not it it's less this says 20 i'm gonna have to go back to that one because it has a black switch on it hey seriously what's taking you so long shut up hey seriously

Unknown_06: I'm not a mechanic. Come on, bring me anything. Really. I'll tell you if it's the right one.

Unknown_16: I did it already. And he said, no, I'm going to say that's it. That's it. Yeah, that's it. I got it.

Unknown_16: It was tactically hidden on the other side of the car.

Unknown_16: And it makes sense because he was using it on other parts of the car, which would have standardized sockets. Is that it?

Unknown_16: Yes!

Unknown_06: This is it!

Unknown_16: I took your time about it, but you did it.

Unknown_06: I'll make a grease monkey out of you. Yeah, yeah. He said 16mm with a reversible black sight.

0:26:04
Unknown_16: I got it.

Unknown_16: Now give me $10 for a party.

Unknown_06: So, you finally decided to come and join your old man under the hood, huh?

Unknown_06: Yeah, um, sure. I know it's not your thing. But you gotta learn a trade. Art. Athletics. Engineering. I don't care. As long as you put your heart into it.

Unknown_06: I'm trying. I just don't know what direction to go. You're only 16 years old. You've got time to figure it out. Trust me, took me a while too. Just gotta try stuff. You happy with it?

0:26:36
Unknown_06: Try being a cyber boy. Your job. Living here. That's a trade. Of course I am. We're doing great.

Unknown_06: Maybe one day when I retire I'll go back to Mexico, to Puerto Lobos. But until then... Ugh, I've heard this one before. I don't even know why I'm fixing you a sweet car for graduation. I'm going to make a prediction.

Unknown_16: The white kid under the American flag is rich. Well, you don't have to.

0:27:13
Unknown_06: It's cool. Are you sure you're my son? You don't want to visit Mexico. Don't want to have a car. I can't even get you into rush or Santana. Are you going to ride the bus for all your dates? This game is being more racist than it ever could be. Mountain Daniel's cock blocking me the whole time. He's nine. He doesn't even know what cock blocking is. He looks up to you, Sean. Try and help him.

Unknown_06: It's what family is for.

Unknown_06: Things are kinda scary out there in this country right now. Oh, um... By the way... Ha!

0:27:48
Unknown_06: I was wondering how long it'd take.

Unknown_06: You need money for the party tonight, right?

Unknown_06: She's right through me. Just say yes! Just say yes. Are you using this money to buy alcohol? Weed?

Unknown_06: Yes.

Unknown_06: Um... I mean...

Unknown_06: Yeah, probably. There we go. We'll be partying at a house and nobody's driving home. I swear. Well, everybody's got to get home somehow.

0:28:23
Unknown_06: But yeah, you and Lila better not get in any car with somebody who can't walk straight.

Unknown_16: Yeah, well, you know, the test for 40 bucks.

Unknown_06: Really? Yeah. Why not? You did a good job on the law.

Unknown_06: Plus, I appreciate that you didn't lie to me.

Unknown_16: see child listen to me I know I know what a 16 millimeter reversible black switch socket just be careful that's all I'm asking for okay I know what kind of crazy shit

0:29:00
Unknown_06: I like the dad. I don't mind stalking them. Give him a hug. Yeah.

Unknown_16: Give him a hug. I'm going to make you be a decent person. Have fun. But not too much. I won't. This is my wish fulfillment fantasies.

0:29:32
Unknown_06: I'm just an energy level asshole, so I'm going to get control of something.

Unknown_16: I have to make him nice.

Unknown_16: I'm trying to farm up karma. I bet dad had a pretty wild teenagehood.

Unknown_06: Yeah. He won't tell. Get some points earned.

Unknown_06: Looks like I got everything. Better pack it all up.

Unknown_16: I'm vaguely aware that you're supposed to investigate stuff and learn more about the characters, but I kind of understand them all already. I just want to know what happened to the mom, but I guess I'll figure that out even if I don't look at anything.

0:30:03
Unknown_06: Let's go.

Unknown_16: Really? Are they getting paid? How do I get a sponsorship with Skype? Can I get a sponsorship with Bing? I'll take some Microsoft money. I'll play it on an Xbox. You guys want to see this game on an Xbox? An Xbox One? Whatever the- What do they call the new one? Because they're not calling it like the Xbox Two.

Unknown_16: Calling it like the Xbox whatever. Xbox One something. Go on chat roulette.

0:30:40
Unknown_16: Hey, he might be by the end of this game. Chapter 5 is I need to go Skype my boyfriend on chat roulette.

Unknown_16: It's just called the Xbox? That's bullshit. Xbox Series X, that's it.

Unknown_21: Yo, that's an inappropriate thing to call someone that you're not in a relationship with.

Unknown_16: That's weird.

Unknown_21: Can't we get it? You're trying to make them bang.

0:31:27
Unknown_06: Hi. Do you like Pokemon? That's what the kids like these days. Pokemon's timeless.

Unknown_16: You like watching fat women eat on the internet?

Unknown_09: I got a couple channels lined up.

Unknown_16: You should see this one chick try to cook English food.

0:31:59
Unknown_10: Hey. Hi, Lila.

Unknown_11: Get out of my room, Daniel. I was just... Come on, man. Why is he so mean to his little brother? Why is there no option to even not be so much of an asshole?

Unknown_16: Is she gonna say, like, that's not cool?

Unknown_14: Sean, you're an asshole.

Unknown_16: Yeah.

Unknown_21: What's your problem? But you only see zombie blood if you don't.

Unknown_06: Sorry, sorry.

Unknown_06: I'll make it up to him.

Unknown_06: He knows I can be a dick. I'm just stressed out about tonight.

0:32:30
Unknown_21: Oh, please.

Unknown_21: You wouldn't understand a single child.

Unknown_16: I mean, if, okay, if someone's watching me, it doesn't matter how much a kid's annoying me. I'm not going to like shove them out of my room. Cause now she was thinking, wow, this guy doesn't know how to handle kids.

Unknown_06: So when are you coming over?

Unknown_16: Even though she doesn't know, there's a punch.

Unknown_21: She doesn't make me lie too much about the party. I'm already in trouble from last time.

Unknown_06: this time don't get caught what am i doing oh shit jen just posted her outfit for tonight what on her wall you should check it out it might get your attention she thought let me see that drawing this might be my masterpiece look at her picture

0:33:24
Unknown_21: Oh, not taking a look at her picture. Uh, where do I go for this?

Unknown_14: Uh, check the page out.

Unknown_14: Whoa.

Unknown_06: Her hair.

Unknown_21: Whoa. Indeed. I told you she was super into you, man.

Unknown_06: What's her profile picture got to do with me?

Unknown_21: Huh? You will see.

Unknown_16: Yeah, she has a thought. She's doing the duck face.

Unknown_16: Really? Those are my options. Yeah, I'll do the heart. It's kind of creepy and orbiting, but I see you, Sean.

0:34:01
Unknown_21: Should we set the wedding date now?

Unknown_16: Hey, come on.

Unknown_06: It's just a heart. I'd like to generate a filter.

Unknown_16: Uh, what else can I do?

Unknown_06: Why is Derek Anderson all over Jen's profile?

Unknown_06: He's an asshole. Is he getting jealous?

Unknown_21: They're like best friends, stalker.

Unknown_06: Really?

0:34:35
Unknown_06: Oh. Leave me alone!

Unknown_16: I'll call my dad!

Unknown_15: Hold on. No!

Unknown_16: Something's going on outside. Go save your brother. You have to make it up to him for being a dick.

Unknown_04: What?

0:35:12
Unknown_14: Uh, I'm not gonna fuck this guy.

Unknown_04: Don't put your hands on my little kid. Oh my god, how am I gonna get banned from Twitch for that?

Unknown_16: Do you think this guy is like a closet homosexual?

Unknown_04: Get inside now.

Unknown_16: You're dead meat bitch.

Unknown_16: Kill him. Saw him. Yes.

0:35:48
Unknown_04: You and your whole fucking family are going to jail. Losers.

Unknown_16: Oh I thought he hit his head on the rock.

Unknown_04: What's going on? Fuck me. Daniel get over here. Oh shit. Okay.

Unknown_12: Just back up.

Unknown_04: No, just do what he says, you retard.

Unknown_16: It's okay if we lose him. He's dead.

Unknown_25: This guy was beating up my little brother!

0:36:23
Unknown_04: This is fucking bullshit! Oh no... Oh my god!

Unknown_04: This is like someone's wet dream!

Unknown_04: Wow, I'm I can't Wow This is how people actually think life is in the United States of America I What, he, like, flattens his house?

0:37:09
Unknown_16: Did he kill his brother, too? Well, some, I assume, are good people. Oh my god, he murdered him!

Unknown_17: Did he kill his little brother too?

Unknown_17: It gets worse than this.

Unknown_25: Oh.

0:37:52
Unknown_16: Are they gonna... Is this game like them fleeing from the police and trying to get to Mexico because they're wanted? Is this the game?

Unknown_16: Oh my god, what tread. You're literally destroying the world as episode 5- Oh my god.

0:38:34
Unknown_16: Don't spoil this for me. I can't read chat that much. I have to soak this in as it happens.

Unknown_16: That can't be chapter one. Better not be. I could finish this in one sitting.

Unknown_16: Life is Strange 2 is a story-based game that highlights player choice. Your actions and decisions will have consequences and impact the world around you and your brother. Choose wisely. But I mean, if I had, like, there's no way, like, that's the plot. If I had chose not to confront him, he definitely would have just been more of an asshole and started to fight anyways.

0:39:15
Unknown_16: Yeah, press and exit now.

Unknown_16: This is comfy. It's been a while since I had the ability to do ultra low latency on YouTube because of my connection. I always gave it time to buffer and stuff. Being able to read chat as stuff happens is really, really nice.

Unknown_16: This reminds me of a book I read when I was in middle school. It was a dystopian novel and it was about a kid and his little brother and they run away on a bicycle after seeing a twin murdered and disposed of.

0:39:51
Unknown_16: And the ending is kind of open because they're starving to death as they bicycle down this highway.

Unknown_05: I don't know what it's called.

Unknown_10: The giver, that sounds right.

Unknown_25: I was there too. Just knock it off.

Unknown_16: I can't help but think that if they had cooperated with the police and obeyed his verbal commands, his father wouldn't have been shot and they'd be okay by now. They might have like a misdemeanor assault charge at worst.

0:40:32
Unknown_01: And that would be really unfair given the circumstances. This is a real adventure, right?

Unknown_25: So, come on. Let's hit the trail.

Unknown_25: Seriously.

Unknown_16: Sean, this is all your fault. You murdered a police officer with force powers. Where's dad?

Unknown_06: Daniel, come on.

Unknown_06: We gotta go.

0:41:05
Unknown_10: Why isn't dad with us, Sean?

Unknown_16: Because he's dead.

Unknown_10: Doesn't he want to go camping too?

Unknown_16: No.

Unknown_10: Yes, but I told you that he can't.

Unknown_16: Is he really lying to him about the death of his father? Okay.

Unknown_10: but I'm so sick of walking. I just wish I was back to my room.

Unknown_06: I know.

Unknown_06: I know. Hey, at least we don't have to go to school on Monday, right?

Unknown_10: Yeah.

Unknown_04: Look, um, everybody's going to be so stoked when they find out how far you walked.

0:41:43
Unknown_10: Really?

Unknown_16: This is such a bad You should just explain that his father is dead cuz he's gonna find out a hundred miles probably 200 feels like it I Would like to say awesome silent like yours is it sound dude Bigfoot doesn't need good shoes No

0:42:13
Unknown_16: This game is built to piss me off.

Unknown_03: Hey, you know what?

Unknown_03: Let's see if you can walk the whole way. I'm getting bullied in my own house.

Unknown_25: I don't whine. I... I... Tag your ass and run! You're it! No way! Not fair! Whatever.

Unknown_16: I don't care if possums and opossums are different things. Awesome opossum sounds better than awesome possum.

0:42:53
Unknown_16: I paid for the game. I don't pirate games anymore. I don't know why. I think it's just because I'm an old person.

Unknown_16: This better not be, oh this is, okay it's the start of the first episode I guess. I like Lithduania more than this. Oh my god.

0:43:26
Unknown_16: i hate when i watch like a let's play and the person streaming feels compelled to talk over everything but if i didn't it would just literally be these two kids walking through a forest and some music that sounds like sack music

0:44:05
Unknown_16: Is this one of those cutscenes where I have to, like, interrupt it for it to stop? Oh, no, it's just a cutscene. Okay. Because I know there were certain parts of Life is Strange 1 where, uh, you had to intentionally interrupt it or you'd get, like, the same loop of things being shown forever.

Unknown_16: I'm sorry, I really have to know.

Unknown_16: What is, like, the rating of this game? Really? Am I supposed to interrupt this? What am I supposed to do? There's no way this is just one... Okay, I guess it is.

0:44:51
Unknown_10: Are we there yet?

Unknown_06: Dude! Stop!

Unknown_06: You know what, you're not allowed to say that. Ever again. Yes, sir. Just tell him your dad is dead and you're taking him to Mexico to join a gang.

Unknown_06: I'm tired and hungry too.

Unknown_16: And there's not going to be any food.

0:45:22
Unknown_06: Listen, this looks like a perfect place to camp out.

Unknown_06: I bet we're not the first people to stay the night.

Unknown_10: It's creepy.

Unknown_10: There's nobody out here. 77% on Metacritic.

Unknown_16: What's the user rating on Steam? I think it was high. It was like positive when I looked at it. Which I guess, I mean, I guess the people paying for this game and reviewing it are the ones who would actually enjoy it for whatever reason.

Unknown_09: Oh, a car to steal.

0:46:00
Unknown_16: So wait,

Unknown_16: Are the party preparations that I got for that, is that like a complete, is that just done? Am I never gonna get to bang that chick?

Unknown_10: Am I just done with that?

Unknown_16: Steal it.

Unknown_10: Break his window and take that chocolate bar.

Unknown_16: Smash that window.

Unknown_06: If you murdered a police officer, there's literally nothing you can do to exacerbate your situation.

0:46:35
Unknown_10: Break that window. Destroy it. Morality is a spook, and so are windows.

Unknown_16: This chocolate bar is the key to your own personal happiness.

Unknown_25: You can hotwire it, hopefully.

0:47:12
Unknown_16: Oh it has like a second one for like talking with the kid.

Unknown_16: Walk by a landslide. Oh I'm sure that's going to happen while we're here. Nice thank you. Okay so we are here. Little picnic area.

Unknown_16: Black bear forest and there are wildlife signs for bears there I think. Looks like a triceratops kind of.

0:47:45
Unknown_16: It looks like a goat. I wanna go see the goat.

Unknown_26: Now we can see where we are.

Unknown_06: Cool. There's a river nearby.

Unknown_10: A river? Are we gonna go swimming?

Unknown_06: No. Duh. What's this? It's way too cold for your skinny butt. Oh, the trail is. Okay. Come on, Daniel. The sun is going down. We're gonna go see the goat.

Unknown_10: Sean?

Unknown_10: Look how big these trees are.

Unknown_06: Eh, that's only because they need the sun. Besides, they'll protect us from the rain.

0:48:17
Unknown_10: What if they don't?

Unknown_06: Then you'll get wet.

Unknown_16: What kind of stupid-ass fucking question is that?

Unknown_16: Mr. Minecraft?

Unknown_06: Aren't you Mr. Minecraft? I thought you loved the forest. I watched you build giant cities out of logs.

Unknown_10: I did! I built the biggest cities ever!

Unknown_10: I can use my axe to chop up some wood.

Unknown_10: Then we can build a secret base.

0:48:50
Unknown_06: Well, sounds like you're ready for the woods.

Unknown_16: Let's go this way. All right, let's go.

Unknown_10: Whoa, that place is huge.

Unknown_06: Yeah, it's kind of cool.

Unknown_16: Because you didn't tell him! You intentionally lied to him about the status of his father being fucking dead. One... Two... I'm gonna make a prediction.

Unknown_06: One...

0:49:38
Unknown_16: I want to find him getting attacked by a bear. Oh, I thought maybe I could break it before.

Unknown_11: Why not?

Unknown_06: If you can. You literally could if you wanted to.

Unknown_16: squirrel you guys see a goat tell me mushy room now where could Daniel be I imagine what's gonna happen if I can't find him is he's just gonna come out and complain and the game will progress and as he's complaining he'll be attacked by a grizzly bear

0:50:39
Unknown_16: Well, he said he liked big trees.

Unknown_06: I see you, Daniel. But you don't see me. Oh, I'm going to get you.

Unknown_16: I'm going to get you. Look at this. There's something very fairy about the way he walks, but I can't see that. I'm going to get banned from Twitch.

Unknown_16: And blah.

Unknown_06: Here's God.

Unknown_10: You almost didn't find.

Unknown_06: Yeah. We're in a giant forest.

0:51:12
Unknown_10: The best hiding spot.

Unknown_16: There's nothing that no bear.

Unknown_10: Man, if I had a woody Nats, we could build a city out of this forest. I guess I'm going to keep going this way then look from my goat.

Unknown_16: Stealth takedown. Geese are scary.

Unknown_16: Snake.

Unknown_16: Raccoon.

0:51:45
Unknown_03: Daniel, come check this out. What?

Unknown_03: What?

Unknown_26: Be quiet. That's a raccoon.

Unknown_08: Raccoon.

Unknown_08: He's so cute.

Unknown_06: I'm surprised the raccoon tears apart.

Unknown_16: Let's go, bro.

Unknown_16: No!

Unknown_16: No! You're gonna attract grizzly bears. I don't think that's true.

0:52:27
Unknown_06: Maybe you, specifically you.

Unknown_06: I'm surprised that raccoon wasn't secretly racist. Now you could have just like broken into that car. That's what I would have done if I was a fugitive.

0:53:15
Unknown_16: that's where they keep the goats and the grizzly bear it's totally gonna be a bear that's gonna be the end of the chapter when I find this bear that's my prediction oh look it's saving saving maybe some bear related activity coming up if this bear doesn't happen I'm gonna be such an asshole you still following me?

Unknown_06: Shit, I should have helped him so much for the big bro.

Unknown_16: Look at what you've done. Oh man, you okay?

Unknown_16: No.

Unknown_10: No, I don't like this place. I don't wanna stay here.

Unknown_06: I know Daniel, I get it.

Unknown_06: But we won't be here long, I promise.

0:54:15
Unknown_10: I'm tired.

Unknown_10: Do we have to keep walking?

Unknown_16: No. Donald Trump is president.

Unknown_06: Plus the sun is going down, so we better find our camping spot for the night.

Unknown_06: Is that cool with you?

Unknown_23: I better be in there. Such a shit father.

0:54:50
Unknown_16: You can't say his dad died because that would involve not being a complete piece of shit all the time. Can I help him down? Mirror!

Unknown_10: Let's go find that bear.

0:55:38
Unknown_16: Perhaps, I mean what else could there possibly be for this?

Unknown_10: What? Did I break the game accidentally?

Unknown_16: V.P. Mushroom.

Unknown_16: We're definitely getting close to where the goats were at.

Unknown_16: I remember that map.

0:56:15
Unknown_16: It's across the river though.

Unknown_16: Is he going to force this kid to cross the river for no reason?

Unknown_10: Looks like a cave.

Unknown_10: What looks in caves? It's kind of spooky here.

Unknown_16: No. Actually, it's kind of perfect. This is a great place to camp! What a fantastic area to lay down in! Where are we going to stay in there?

0:56:49
Unknown_10: I don't know.

Unknown_04: What could possibly happen in this cave? We could fight off any skeletons or creepers with some good traps.

Unknown_01: Cool. In that case, we definitely need to get a fire going. Oh, some good traps. I wonder, I wonder for the creepers, right?

Unknown_10: So what do we need?

Unknown_06: Okay.

0:57:22
Unknown_06: I needed to build a camp to keep out all those creepers and whatever.

Unknown_16: Like this kid this age would not know what a creeper is.

Unknown_06: Come on. He plays Minecraft too.

Unknown_16: Deal?

Unknown_10: Yes. I can build traps too. Nothing will get to us.

Unknown_06: Awesome dude.

Unknown_10: I know.

Unknown_06: Okay.

Unknown_16: Let's unpack.

Unknown_16: Is Minecraft shits breaking your immersion? Mine too! You can't acknowledge that video games exist. You have to give them like fake names.

0:57:57
Unknown_16: Oh, so that's what the blanket was for.

Unknown_16: Should have brought that cop's gun too for the bear.

0:58:39
Unknown_16: Is he really? He's kind of an asshole. More and more. For every second he does not tell that kid that his father is dead. I mean the kid's going to find out before they get to Mexico.

Unknown_16: Eventually the kid's going to be like, why are we crossing this border?

Unknown_10: This kind of looks like a...

Unknown_16: that game with the cult leader apple seed it was uh what's the name of it how did i forget this it's like far far cry far cry 5 or like in montana what was i doing gather wood to build a fire now this is perfect

0:59:32
Unknown_10: I wish I had some redstone. I could make way better traps.

Unknown_06: Oh, shit.

Unknown_06: No, don't desert me. That went to the ER after he got stung.

Unknown_06: Now we don't have that option.

Unknown_16: Ooh, we can yell as much as we want. A bear does not come. Oh, a wasp. I wonder if the bear could be hit with the wasp nest to get them out of a sticky situation. Where am I building this fire at?

Unknown_26: No way they're putting us in foster care.

Unknown_10: We can't fortify without weapons.

Unknown_16: We're gonna put you in the camps.

1:00:06
Unknown_16: In the Trump camps.

Unknown_16: Why can't I build a fire?

Unknown_10: What do we have? Come on dude, just find another log.

Unknown_16: Come on man.

Unknown_16: Don't overthink this. My prediction is the bear is gonna come and then the wasp nest is gonna fall on the bear to distract it. Either that or a much less interesting twist would be that the wasp just stings him. Then he gets sick and they have to go find an epipen or something. And they have to kill an old woman with the forest to get the epipen.

1:00:39
Unknown_16: And then little kid cries and was like, why are we killing old people and stealing their EpiPens? Why can't we go to the hospital or any place with police officers? And he's like, oh, you know, it's a game we're playing with dad or dad can't make any contact with us for a couple of weeks.

Unknown_16: And the police are in on it too. If they catch us we lose the game. Like in Minecraft when Steve kills a couple of villagers and the police are after him.

1:01:14
Unknown_14: Can I just start the fire already please?

Unknown_26: Hey, this isn't too bad. I guess Daniel can chill a little.

Unknown_10: Hey, can you give me a hand?

Unknown_06: Yeah.

Unknown_10: This is the best way to protect- Yo, what are you doing?

1:01:58
Unknown_03: I'm trying to move this branch to protect the base.

Unknown_06: Good call. Here, let me take this side.

Unknown_10: You got it?

Unknown_06: We'll see. There's probably insects on that. Go ahead and... push!

Unknown_10: I hear creepy crawlies and the spiders.

Unknown_16: What games do they play at Trump Kids? Probably, probably like Trump themed ones. It's like just a re-skin Minecraft called Trump Craft. They have to rebuild the Trump Tower.

Unknown_06: When does this end?

1:02:35
Unknown_16: Make a fire.

Unknown_16: Right wing beer spuds.

Unknown_14: Is that kid gonna come back?

Unknown_16: The kid from before?

Unknown_08: Do you see any bears? Do you see any goats?

Unknown_16: It's not appropriate to make that joke.

1:03:16
Unknown_16: We're gonna have a nice brother moment here. I'm gonna be the brother I never was. Your dad's dead.

Unknown_16: I was gonna do one of those things where it just rotates between scenery for like forever until you interrupt it. My father. You're not very creative.

1:03:51
Unknown_06: You should draw racist caricatures of your friends like I do.

Unknown_16: The only way this would be interesting to me is if he said it looks like a bear. He's describing the bear with the clouds. Maybe that's what the brother will say, like, look, it's a bear. He's like, I don't see a bear.

1:04:28
Unknown_16: Oof, your textures are not detailed enough to do this kind of close-up with lighting. Hey! Oh yeah, there it is.

1:05:11
Unknown_16: continue with the story come on let's get to that bear spikes why are there spikes there oh that's the kid he put those up as defenses

Unknown_06: Alrighty, Nano. We're cave people now.

Unknown_06: Time to make fire.

Unknown_08: We make fire.

Unknown_08: Can I help?

Unknown_06: You have a big mouth like me, so come on. Blow.

Unknown_06: Yes!

Unknown_10: Dude, don't blow it out. Sorry. Sorry. I wanted to do it like a movie.

1:06:01
Unknown_16: Suburban kid has some good survival skills, like he can start a fire. Is that it? There's no bear?

Unknown_16: You better, you better not. You better not just end the chapter right there. I paid good money for this game. I bought it for like $5 on sale.

1:06:33
Unknown_16: Look, my choices did impact the story. Now they're eating chips instead of cookies at this campfire. I feel so rewarded. If they had eaten cookies, it would have been a disaster. It would have upset their tummy.

Unknown_26: I know.

Unknown_26: Me too.

1:07:06
Unknown_10: I'm ready for dessert.

Unknown_06: Go ahead.

Unknown_08: Do you want a piece?

Unknown_26: I'm good. You eat it.

Unknown_10: I'm the judge now, not you. So you can't have a piece anyway.

Unknown_06: Okay. Figures you try to get revenge, judge. Hey, I want a new trial.

Unknown_10: Too late, tort clothes. It didn't make sense because I didn't give him... I didn't try to take a piece.

1:07:44
Unknown_16: Okay, that kind of thing actually bothers me because that would have been a funny line to introduce if I had been an asshole and And try to take the piece there because I I didn't I didn't I didn't give him the piece earlier But because I didn't and they thought that was too clever to let slip away Instead of making that like rewarding reaction based on prior choices We just they just did it anyways and it completely ruins like the storytelling you'd went with this kind of game and That's that that I don't know why but that in particular was very egregious to me yesterday Dude that shake was so good.

Unknown_26: Can't believe we found a diner on the way out here.

Unknown_10: I Want another one I know We'll get you one promise

Unknown_16: We'll get the bear some day.

1:08:47
Unknown_16: We're almost broke. How'd you spend money? What do we eat tomorrow? You got 40 bucks. Man. 30, 30. Is this like, I remember a while ago I saw like a TV advertisement about poverty in the United States of America.

Unknown_16: It was like a weird flash game on a 501c3's website and the gist was that you were a single parent taking care of a kid.

Unknown_16: It was actually kind of a decent game because it was like Oregon Trail and that things would happen and you'd have to account for it with your budget or make hard choices and deprive your kids of stuff they needed.

1:09:25
Unknown_16: Obviously I beat the game because I was good at it.

Unknown_16: but if they had like a budget budgeting system where bad things happen kind of like Oregon Trail like oh your kid like ripped out his shoes are you gonna make him walk on on uh uh threadbare souls are you gonna spend the money on new tinnies are you gonna steal something that might have negative consequences those are a really interesting storytelling mechanics you could add to a game but I get the feeling have a hunch just in in my my gut that nothing of the sort is going to happen whatsoever maybe that's uh maybe i'm just being pessimistic this is the coolest secret base ever nobody's gonna find us oh yeah do they have beer oh he's drinking the beer what the kid can't have any beer his dad's dead

1:10:22
Unknown_16: Stop it! Stop assaulting me! I don't consent to being wooed at.

Unknown_16: Oh. Oh. Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it for the crowd.

Unknown_11: Are they both gonna do it?

Unknown_16: Yes!

Unknown_16: I subjugate myself.

Unknown_16: This game is my literal hell.

1:11:02
Unknown_16: Wait, wait, wait.

Unknown_16: Wait, wait, wait.

Unknown_16: All this, all this awooing.

Unknown_16: Could it possibly, could it possibly have some kind of ramifications in the story?

Unknown_16: I'm left, the world wonders.

Unknown_16: Could it attract a bear? Yeah.

Unknown_10: Feels good to sit down.

Unknown_10: Sean?

Unknown_16: Is dad dead?

1:11:41
Unknown_06: It's not your fault.

Unknown_06: A wooing repels bears?

Unknown_16: Okay, that's good to know. If I ever see a bear in real life, I'll just woo at it. It'll be so shocked and horrified at how homoerotic I'm being.

Unknown_13: It'll turn tail and run.

Unknown_16: Something gonna happen today?

Unknown_16: Look at the moon.

1:12:13
Unknown_10: I'm so tired.

Unknown_26: Man, I made a fire tonight. Yes, you did. That would be proud.

Unknown_06: But he's dead.

Unknown_06: You look tired.

Unknown_06: Ready to crash?

Unknown_10: I think I need to go to the bathroom.

Unknown_06: I knew it. Oh no. Okay. This is it. You have to pee then go. This is the moment we've all been waiting for.

Unknown_16: You want me to come?

Unknown_10: No. I'm not a baby. I wonder what's gonna happen.

1:12:44
Unknown_16: Oh. Dude!

Unknown_10: Not that close.

Unknown_16: Yeah.

Unknown_10: We have to sleep here. I wasn't. I was trying to find somewhere to go.

Unknown_16: I wonder. It's coming.

Unknown_16: It's coming.

Unknown_16: Uh oh. I hear that. I hear it.

1:13:18
Unknown_10: I hear it. It's coming.

Unknown_06: I think we earned some serious rest.

Unknown_06: I could sleep forever.

Unknown_10: Not on this ground.

Unknown_06: Better than freezing out there, right?

Unknown_10: Way better. I swear I heard something growling. Now we have a real fire.

1:13:49
Unknown_06: And a secure base.

Unknown_06: You did awesome today, Daniel.

Unknown_10: Really?

Unknown_06: Hell yeah.

Unknown_06: Get to the action. You're like a real wilderness expert.

Unknown_23: Sleep tight, bro.

Unknown_16: Don't let the wolves bite. Come on.

Unknown_16: Come on!

1:14:22
Unknown_16: Don't you fade to black.

Unknown_16: You son of a bitch.

Unknown_16: This game is intentionally fucking with me. Oh, middle of the night, come on. Come on. No whammy, no whammy. All bear. Give me a bear.

Unknown_16: Come on game, do something.

Unknown_16: Stop crying. You don't even know your dad's dead.

1:14:54
Unknown_16: It's not your dad, it's a bear.

Unknown_01: I'm gonna keep saying it until he tells them.

Unknown_10: It can't possibly go on all five episodes.

Unknown_16: The woods.

1:15:29
Unknown_16: Look at how terrible those fire graphics are. That's abysmal.

Unknown_16: This is the Unreal Engine. This engine has made real games before, you know.

Unknown_06: You fortified our base, so we're perfect.

Unknown_10: I did. You're right.

Unknown_06: Go. Go back to sleep.

Unknown_26: You need your rest.

Unknown_10: But I might have another scary dream.

Unknown_26: You won't.

Unknown_06: Oh, come on, game.

1:16:04
Unknown_16: Give me the bear.

Unknown_18: Fade to black again, nothing happened.

Unknown_18: There's no way. There's no way that this sequence is ending with nothing happening.

Unknown_16: They're wolves running in the corner, yeah.

Unknown_16: there's no way that that you've you've got to be fucking kidding me that really that's it how did they think this was okay they just want

1:16:49
Unknown_16: Okay. Maybe the wolf was kind of far away.

Unknown_06: It's easier now. We're going down here. You just got to keep walking.

Unknown_10: Yeah, that's better. Hey, maybe we'll find a milkshake shop.

Unknown_06: Ah, yes. A four secret milkshake factory.

Unknown_06: Keep dreaming, dude.

Unknown_06: Let's walk a little more. There will be a rest stop or something where we can buy food. I'm sure.

Unknown_06: You know, I get the feeling that they would get hitchhiked eventually.

1:17:26
Unknown_10: I can't believe that sequence ended with nothing happening.

Unknown_10: Life is Strange 1 was more exciting than that. There's all sorts of, like, lesbian drama happening.

Unknown_06: yep must be the gas station we saw on that sign the battery's out but I had to go check it shit my phone's dead I'm so hungry for real food right now I hear you we're gonna get food water and plus a map so we can find the best route Utah

1:18:19
Unknown_26: You're a long way from home, dude. I hear you.

Unknown_26: We're gonna get food, water.

Unknown_16: I'm moving too fast for the game. I cut a nail off her fork because I was running through it. And he wasn't expecting that. So the whole story about how he was trying to tell him something when he shoot him out the room. I'm looking for money, by the way. I want to steal some money.

Unknown_06: California plates. Maybe they can help us. Wish we could sleep in here tonight. California plates. Maybe they can help us. Nah.

1:18:53
Unknown_06: Too much traffic.

Unknown_06: Exactly.

Unknown_10: A box.

Unknown_06: You sure it's okay to poke around?

Unknown_06: What the?

Unknown_02: Something's under that cookie box.

Unknown_16: Read the notes. Okay.

Unknown_02: Be gentle.

Unknown_16: It's a birdie. Fly.

Unknown_16: Why the fuck was that bird under a box? How the hell did that happen? A mouse would make more sense. I mean, it wouldn't make much sense, but it would make more sense. I can't believe I'm still mad about the wolf.

1:19:26
Unknown_16: Hey, there it is. Hell yeah, that's the bear I was looking for.

Unknown_16: For all this time.

Unknown_16: Anything I dig in the trash to get money?

Unknown_05: Damn, why do they let this rust out here?

Unknown_10: I know dad would be able to fix it.

Unknown_06: Yeah, maybe not that one dude.

1:19:57
Unknown_10: He has to finish your car first.

Unknown_06: Yeah, I know.

Unknown_06: Looks like the perfect setting for the Washington Chainsaw Massacre. I get it, it's funny.

Unknown_16: I wanna steal.

Unknown_16: Open it and steal the money inside of it.

Unknown_16: I'm trying to like, find money.

Unknown_16: Cause I know we're gonna need it, right?

1:20:32
Unknown_08: Do what?

Unknown_14: Do what?

Unknown_16: There's something doing like loop-de-loops in the air.

Unknown_16: Hey!

Unknown_16: Piece of black bear attack. Drop food and possessions. Do not run or play dead. Fight back vigorously. Aim for the head with any objects available.

1:21:06
Unknown_16: See?

Unknown_16: Look, all the bears, the bear, there's a bear.

Unknown_16: Didn't happen where it should have, or it would have been interesting.

Unknown_16: Are they gonna find out in here? Is this kid gonna have to figure out that his dad was murdered by like the cashier of this building? Because there's no way he hasn't seen that newspaper that's stocked out front.

1:21:38
Unknown_16: Howdy.

Unknown_10: Hey.

Unknown_16: Two dollars for a shitty little candy bar? Are you fucking nuts?

Unknown_23: Can't believe how lost we are.

Unknown_23: Thank God we found this place.

Unknown_16: Hell yeah. Give me this. Uh oh. She distrusts you. Stop looking at me, please. Because you're a minority. How is that water bottle $4.50?

1:22:17
Unknown_16: Lady, this place is a scam.

Unknown_16: I will give you $0.99 of my American dollars and not one penny more. That is ridiculous. $6 for two hot dogs?

Unknown_16: This place is... I don't care how hungry I am, I am not paying $6 for two hot dogs.

Unknown_16: You could make $30 last for like a week.

1:22:50
Unknown_16: In terms of groceries, just buying this stuff.

Unknown_16: You could buy a pack of hot dogs for less than $6.

Unknown_16: This is preposterous.

Unknown_16: What's he doing?

Unknown_16: Is he a creeper? Jesus.

1:23:32
Unknown_03: Nobody.

Unknown_20: Yeah, I agree.

Unknown_03: Is this like a rent? Why is this random hipster in like this?

Unknown_16: Hick's store looking at naked people.

Unknown_20: I'm getting carried away.

Unknown_20: Name's Brody.

Unknown_20: I'm kind of an online traveling journalist.

Unknown_16: Didn't ask.

Unknown_20: Sean.

Unknown_06: What's it? Kumar. Online traveling journalist.

Unknown_20: Just a fancy name for someone who drives around in a car to Mexico about people and stuff. There's a few websites that pay me for these papers since I know how to write. Nice to meet you, man. Traveling with your brother.

1:24:04
Unknown_14: Why would he lie?

Unknown_06: That's a horrible option.

Unknown_20: Why would you lie about your father? The best way to learn is on the road. This guy looks like the fat guy that does the comedies.

Unknown_16: What's his name? Like Seth MacFarlane or something. He's in a lot of comedies. I wonder if Seth MacFarlane's a coomer.

1:24:46
Unknown_16: Like another world.

Unknown_16: I bet you.

Unknown_10: Ooh, Shawn, check it out. It's a ratcoon costume. I wanna be a ratcoon.

Unknown_16: I bet you.

Unknown_16: Daniel, come check this out.

Unknown_10: What? What is it? I'm gonna steal that tent.

Unknown_10: It's a puppy. Super cute.

Unknown_16: Yeah, super cute.

Unknown_10: Is this yours?

Unknown_07: No, just another stray mutt.

1:25:21
Unknown_10: Must be sad.

Unknown_10: What's his name?

Unknown_07: That's a she.

Unknown_10: Oh, right. Oh, can we have the puppy?

Unknown_06: No, please. There's no fucking way.

Unknown_06: Sorry, man.

Unknown_06: No way we're taking a dog with us. We need adults to take care of her.

Unknown_16: Daniel, talk to this woman about this dog while I go here and inspect the tents.

1:25:54
Unknown_10: What about what?

Unknown_10: Uh, camping dishes, Washington t-shirt.

Unknown_16: Why would you even add this to this game?

Unknown_10: Did I buy a fishing rod?

Unknown_16: Knife display. You could buy a knife when you're like 14, I think.

Unknown_16: You can't buy a fishing rod?

Unknown_07: We're going to Mexico. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. It's got me. It's got me.

1:26:40
Unknown_16: I can't not do this. I have to know. Look, there's a bird.

Unknown_10: Can we play? I bet it's easy to get a prize.

Unknown_06: Yeah, no. See all those prizes still inside? Nobody wins except the machine.

Unknown_06: But hey, we're the Wolf Brothers. Us teach this machine a lesson, right?

Unknown_10: Yes. So who goes first?

Unknown_05: Go get him, little brother. Ooh, I'm gonna beat this boss. He's not a boss, he's a bird.

1:27:11
Unknown_10: Wait till you get a good opening.

Unknown_16: It's gonna be a disaster.

Unknown_10: Not fair. It sucks.

Unknown_05: Don't grab so fast. I'm gonna spend all my money on this.

Unknown_10: This is hard.

Unknown_10: Can you try?

Unknown_16: No.

Unknown_06: You got this, Daniel.

Unknown_16: Look, these hot dogs are $6.

1:27:46
Unknown_16: We can spend $3 and get a prize.

Unknown_04: You're a failure.

Unknown_16: You can't be a wolf if you're this terrible at claw grab machines. Is this why your dad died?

Unknown_19: One more. We got this.

Unknown_10: No! Go in. See, it was only three bucks.

1:28:21
Unknown_06: Little hot dog.

Unknown_16: Oh, hell yeah. I got my bear. I can't believe it. I am the prognosticator of prognosticators.

Unknown_16: After my keen predictions, at the most narratively sound moment possible, a bear has appeared.

Unknown_16: Can I get this? Can't take out money off the ATM on credit. Well, I guess you can, but you have to pay a premium.

1:28:52
Unknown_16: Can we steal someone's wallet?

Unknown_16: I bet you there's a way to steal someone's wallet and get that ATM.

Unknown_16: Where's your money at, Coomer? Supplies and a map. Where's the map? There's a map right there. The only one I can buy. 30 bucks!

1:29:31
Unknown_07: Okay, there has to be a way to steal.

1:30:02
Unknown_16: Does she actually, like, follow me? Come here.

Unknown_03: Fuck.

Unknown_03: Nah. She keeps looking at me.

Unknown_16: I'm fucked.

Unknown_16: There has to be a way. I'm not- I'm not- I'm not accepting this. I deserve to steal.

Unknown_16: Oh, man. I don't want to sit around and make it boring, but I desperately want to figure out how I can steal something.

1:30:41
Unknown_16: Walk behind South Rogan. Let's see.

Unknown_06: I've never thought I'd be so excited to see a gas station. Are you right?

Unknown_16: Maximum Boomer that. Just give the Boomer a blowjob. Take the Coomer's money. I don't see his wallet anywhere. Or I would in a second. He doesn't deserve it.

Unknown_16: Put it in your basket and run out. There has to be some way to like distract this woman though.

Unknown_10: I'm very frustrated.

1:31:21
Unknown_07: I'll pay for what I have. What?

Unknown_07: All right, here's your change.

Unknown_16: Cool.

1:31:54
Unknown_16: Thanks.

Unknown_16: Life in America is so rough. $10 for a hot dog. Bitch.

Unknown_16: Bitch.

Unknown_16: Damn it.

Unknown_10: Hey look! Empty table!

Unknown_06: Let's grab it and check out this map.

1:32:26
Unknown_16: Do Americans really do this?

Unknown_16: There has to be a way to steal. Ooh.

Unknown_16: Food.

Unknown_06: Thank God.

Unknown_06: Yay! A fucking half-eaten apple. Don't swear, young man.

1:32:57
Unknown_10: It's our table now.

Unknown_16: Yep.

Unknown_16: Let's see. What do we got here? Wait, did someone actually know how to do it? Is that all we've got?

Unknown_02: Sorry.

Unknown_16: Oh, I forgot about that.

Unknown_16: The burger.

Unknown_16: He had better luck than I did. I only found an apple. That's healthy food. I'm not going to eat that.

1:33:30
Unknown_16: Our freaking people know it, man.

Unknown_20: That's right.

Unknown_20: Hey, it's the Coomer. Yeah, he called. Little weirdo. Yeah, hope I can read it.

1:34:05
Unknown_10: Is this supposed to be Washington?

Unknown_10: I don't recognize anything.

Unknown_06: Yeah, me neither.

Unknown_06: But we have to be somewhere in there.

Unknown_10: Hey, I know. We're here. There's a gas station. See?

Unknown_06: Nah, no way. We were near Mount Rainier yesterday, but it's miles away now. Let me show you where we are, okay?

Unknown_10: Yeah, okay.

Unknown_06: Um... We slept at that trout trail thing.

Unknown_16: Then we walked south for a while.

Unknown_16: Where's the trout trail at?

1:34:38
Unknown_16: Oh I see.

Unknown_10: So then we went, oh we're right there though.

Unknown_16: I think.

Unknown_06: Yes it is. It's next to the river we camped by yesterday. Here we are.

Unknown_10: Okay, so can we go there tonight?

Unknown_06: Are you kidding? It's way too far. You want to walk a whole week again?

Unknown_10: Why didn't they just ask the Coomer for a ride?

Unknown_06: He seemed really open-minded to that kind of stuff.

Unknown_16: Find where we can go. He was like right on. He was like, well, are you going south?

1:35:10
Unknown_24: Looks like you're out camping. Uh-oh.

Unknown_24: Yeah, just going over trails and stuff seems dangerous to be out here all alone But maybe you're the ones who need to be watched, huh?

Unknown_24: What do you mean? We just hope you paid for all that We don't tolerate job lifters Sir we paid for this

Unknown_16: You really paid $6 for a hot dog? Like, I believe that. Shoplifter motherfuckers.

Unknown_24: You get it? He's racist. What? What? Talk to him.

1:36:01
Unknown_16: How do I pick the right option? Oh no. Why doesn't my button work? Oh no.

Unknown_16: How do I go up?

Unknown_16: I literally can't pick that.

Unknown_16: I feel like a retard. Wait.

Unknown_16: This is the hardest game I've ever played.

Unknown_16: Seriously. Okay.

Unknown_16: I want to go up. Ah.

Unknown_16: That was like flicking a beam, that was hard. That was a technical jump. Stay back! No I had to-

1:36:46
Unknown_24: Now let's go. Don't touch me. Don't do it boy. My option didn't matter because now they're fighting anyways.

Unknown_16: This is really weird. This doesn't matter what option I pick because they fight anyways. Use your, use the force.

Unknown_16: Oh, is he going to get Washington chainsaw massacred?

Unknown_16: We're from rural Washington, boy. They don't take kindly to your folk around here. They are fugitives.

Unknown_24: Like, genuinely. Damn, they like tied him to a radiator.

1:37:31
Unknown_16: As it turns out, y'all are wanted for murdering a police officer using the force. Got a long camera and everything. Bring out the gimp.

Unknown_11: The gimp's asleep.

Unknown_24: Wake him up then. Oh yeah, you're in mad country now, boy.

Unknown_24: No. Hey there.

Unknown_24: You finally awake?

1:38:07
Unknown_24: Sorry I had to secure you.

Unknown_24: But if you're innocent, don't act guilty.

Unknown_16: He's literally wanted for murder. That makes this whole racist thing less ridiculous.

Unknown_24: I'm gonna tell the police you kidnapped me. Nice try. But I know who you are and what you did in Seattle. I saw it in the paper.

Unknown_24: I saw it in the news this morning.

Unknown_16: A father in arms. Damn, dude. No one would do that, ever. No one would tie a kid up to a radiator and then kick him in the head.

1:38:53
Unknown_16: You gotta call him a mutt. American sees when you call him a mutt.

Unknown_24: If you didn't have any second thoughts about letting him out in the middle of nowhere though. That's real safe for a little kid.

Unknown_16: Life is literally like this, too. That's a good title. Yeah, no, it's ridiculous. Like, this is like fan fiction. Like, no one... Look, I get the feeling that there are actually people out there who daydream and fantasize about being victimized like this so that it vindicates their... their, uh... dispositions. Or tell the world how the world is.

1:39:42
Unknown_16: I can break these cuffs. You can't break them cuffs Must be scared shitless leave him out there Yeah, that's what I thought Wonder if I could get more light from it More light

1:40:19
Unknown_16: So move the mouse Yes, look there's a lot of family But now he sees the shelf above him The bear the prophecies Get the bear I'm sorry, but you married him

Unknown_17: Why would you kick something you can use to help you away?

Unknown_25: Daniel? I'm right here.

Unknown_25: Are you okay? I think so.

Unknown_10: That old guy chased me into the woods, but I think I lost him.

Unknown_16: Daniel, he's getting the gimp. You gotta help me.

Unknown_25: Hey, and I know you're doing great. He totally fooled them.

Unknown_16: I'm gonna say this out loud in as explicit a way as possible so that people hearing me can figure out the kids are dead.

1:41:21
Unknown_05: Use your force powers to murder more police officers.

Unknown_02: It is, but be careful.

1:41:59
Unknown_02: It might attract him.

Unknown_25: Hey, you think you can open the back door?

Unknown_16: I'm not seeing like a clever approach to this. So I guess I just have to be blunt and try everything.

Unknown_09: I don't know.

1:42:31
Unknown_25: Let me think. Can you try and open this vent? I guess that should have been the first thing I tried.

Unknown_11: Don't worry. We'll figure something out.

Unknown_16: Talking Spanish to confuse Whitey.

Unknown_16: I mean, technically they should.

Unknown_16: Okay, the only thing I see is the open that, which doesn't make any sense.

1:43:02
Unknown_16: He's in the back room being racist online right now. He's on pull, posting like, hey, guess what I got in my back room right now. He wouldn't believe me.

Unknown_16: Let's save. He's distracted. He's gonna get- he's gonna see some tits on Paul and he's gonna have a Coomer moment. He's just gonna completely throw off his plan.

Unknown_16: No, I'm handcuffed to a radiator and they're getting the gimp.

Unknown_25: Yeah, we get it.

1:43:40
Unknown_26: You're the perfect American.

Unknown_06: I see it.

Unknown_16: I see it. Windy Carter. Calm down. Calm yourself.

Unknown_16: Uh, what's this? How do I click that? And I get closer. Oh, I can get closer. Don't be I'm.

Unknown_16: Oh, I thought I'd do a handstand and grab something.

Unknown_11: I mean, you did murder police officers, to be fair.

1:44:13
Unknown_05: Maybe that police officer was his brother and he's not just a racist.

Unknown_16: Maybe that's a family member who's not going to come over to his grill next Saturday because you killed him in a fit of rage.

Unknown_16: Oh.

Unknown_26: Ask for a tool.

Unknown_16: This is a callback. It's like an earlier when I had to ask, or when the dad asked me for a tool.

1:44:53
Unknown_04: Now I'm, I'm fathering the little brother. Oh my God.

Unknown_16: It's a narrative story arc. He's coming of age.

Unknown_25: I think I saw a big file thing in the workshop with all those bear sculptures. I know you can find it.

Unknown_10: Okay.

Unknown_10: I'll try.

Unknown_16: Wait, wait, wait.

Unknown_16: I'm going to crab walk until he gets back.

1:45:32
Unknown_25: Come on, Sean. We gotta hurry. Before the police gets here.

Unknown_16: Can I take it with us now?

Unknown_11: This is it. You rule, Daniel.

Unknown_16: Okay. I guarantee you, as soon as I start doing this, the guys are gonna come in.

Unknown_05: Let's do this.

Unknown_16: Oh, I have to go in a circle now. Oh, I have to... Oh, I just click really fast. I can break these cuffs.

Unknown_25: Yes!

Unknown_11: good job bro move forward with w what the fuck oh he's still on the pipe okay what the fuck oh he just broke the little the thing tying him to that pipe keys

1:46:35
Unknown_14: I think the people who write these scripts have like a BDSM fetish because Max gets kidnapped in the first one.

Unknown_16: Look see it doesn't even matter because as soon as we get close he's gonna show up anyways.

Unknown_10: Oh god, I was so scared.

Unknown_10: What happened to your face?

Unknown_05: That old bastard happened.

Unknown_01: Okay, we need to cut this off, fast.

1:47:17
Unknown_10: How about these?

Unknown_11: Dude, you're Brock. What? Did that asshole see you? No way.

Unknown_17: What was it? Was it just like zip ties?

Unknown_06: Yeah, you are. Was he zip tied?

Unknown_16: Okay.

Unknown_06: I heard the police come in.

Unknown_16: Cause they opened the door and it went ding dong.

Unknown_01: Wait, is the little kid the one with psi powers? Oh thank god, more murdered people.

1:47:57
Unknown_16: Oh hell yeah! Build that camp here. We got the force. Hang now!

Unknown_24: Murder him. Give him the boot. Morality is a spook. Give him the boot.

Unknown_16: That's a pussy kick.

Unknown_25: You gotta go American History X on him.

Unknown_16: This is a race car. Quick, let's steal this truck. We're heading to Mexico.

1:48:29
Unknown_03: Wait, I didn't get my camping gear?

Unknown_16: Oh, I did get the camping gear. I hope.

Unknown_17: It's the Coomer.

1:49:04
Unknown_04: Just say that the guy was racist, and he said this was MAGA country.

Unknown_16: He'll do anything.

Unknown_11: You're fucking crazy. He tied me up and he's back office.

Unknown_11: I swear. He said this was magic.

Unknown_16: See? I told you. The Kumar cannot resist. He's crazy out in the woods. This is basically his fan fiction. And he was on that computer. He was writing this story about how he was a hero who saved two disenfranchised young brown people from a life of being bullied in Trump's America. And that's how this script ended up into a video game that I'm now playing.

1:49:55
Unknown_18: I totally believe you.

Unknown_16: I saw him. He had a MAGA cap on in the back. I knew right then he was no good.

Unknown_20: Damn, that is crazy.

Unknown_16: Now, this might be a bad time to tell you about Hitchhiker's Rules. How you have to pay with green, or what's the rules? It's like, green isn't money, green isn't weed, or sex. Someone inform me of what this policy is, I know it's a thing.

1:50:30
Unknown_06: Did he mess with you too?

Unknown_16: Gas after cash, good job.

Unknown_16: It's Washington!

Unknown_16: Oh, it's not Washington anymore. You're in Maga country.

Unknown_16: More Bigfoots than Mexicans.

Unknown_06: Yeah. My dad said there are more Bigfoots out here than Mexicans.

1:51:07
Unknown_20: People out here are more scared of you and your little brother.

Unknown_16: This is nuts. I really hope that there is a scene where President Donald J. Trump comes out and announces that these two kids should be killed on sight by any and all officers and anyone who just so happens to have a gun.

Unknown_06: What's under the blanket?

Unknown_06: Come on, I'm not stupid.

Unknown_16: They stole the puppy! The only- no camping supplies, no food, but they stole the fucking puppy. Are you shitting me? That is- that is ridiculous.

1:51:41
Unknown_02: Oh, he's a cutie though.

Unknown_10: Whatever.

Unknown_16: A little bit of happiness here.

Unknown_10: Ooh, do my choices finally matter?

Unknown_16: Oh, I don't even get to choose? Okay, nevermind.

Unknown_10: Do I really not get to pick the dog's name?

Unknown_10: That's ridiculous, because they would have to voice act lines a couple times, depending on the name, and they can't be bothered to do that.

1:52:25
Unknown_06: There's a dog! There's a dog meme on the-

Unknown_16: Wow, this guy really is a coomer. Why does this guy's voice sound so familiar?

Unknown_09: It's driving me nuts.

1:52:58
Unknown_16: Oh, they're in Washington. Is there going to be a chapter where Onision is chasing after them? Like, get in my basement. No one will even know how much I abuse you.

Unknown_16: He's a coomer. We already know that.

Unknown_06: So, what do you do exactly?

Unknown_20: Long, boring story short, I come from a family with money.

Unknown_20: Oh. No soul. I took off after school and never looked back.

Unknown_20: There's a DSP reference?

1:53:36
Unknown_16: Oh. He's also in Washington. He's in Seattle.

Unknown_20: That would be great.

Unknown_16: If they went to like an arcade or something and DSP's in there like, I'm pushing buttons man, I can't do anything.

Unknown_06: So, how do you make money?

Unknown_06: Spoken like a real American.

Unknown_13: Self-insert.

Unknown_06: Yeah, this guy does feel like a self-insert. Just curious. It's really weird. Now that we're urban nomads too, if you have any tips.

Unknown_20: I sell shit. Like a good capitalist.

Unknown_01: Oh my god.

1:54:07
Unknown_20: Stories when I can, eBay when I can't. My biggest expense is gas and food, so it's easy.

Unknown_16: I know that feeling, amigo.

Unknown_20: Hey, no matter what, I just try not to get cynical.

Unknown_20: He runs a cyberbullying site.

Unknown_16: He just can't say if you think he's an asshole. He works online, air quotes. He builds websites for small businesses, air quotes.

1:54:41
Unknown_19: This song is shit, by the way.

Unknown_16: Oh, put back on Lithomania.

Unknown_20: This is, this is like weird... self-fulfillment fantasy.

Unknown_16: I'm just imagining the guy that looks exactly like this going, and then I help them, and I gave them room, and they were very thankful for it, and they were polite and tidy in the back at the same time. Oh, and they brought a puppy, and it was so magical. They saved the puppy from the racist too, so he doesn't grow up to be racist like the pit bulls are.

1:55:19
Unknown_16: It looks like a lava lamp. Fuck this guy now. I bet you the person who wrote this has a lava lamp screensaver too. This song isn't so bad actually. Wait, I wanna save the day.

Unknown_16: Then everyone clapped. I'm clapping here.

1:55:59
Unknown_17: It's three hours later, it feels like it.

Unknown_16: This has to be the end of chapter two. It's right around two hours in. Or chapter one.

1:56:39
Unknown_16: Clapping at video games is American. That sounds like a quote from the first game. Any interaction going on here?

Unknown_20: No?

Unknown_16: Hey, listen.

1:57:12
Unknown_20: I know what happened with you guys in Seattle.

Unknown_16: Do you want to talk about it?

Unknown_20: I'm a good listener.

Unknown_16: It's a little pressure. I don't even know what happened. It was so fast.

Unknown_16: Mario, explain the police.

Unknown_11: This guy will eat the shit up. Is the little boy listening to this?

1:58:03
Unknown_16: If only I had heeded any verbal command in this tense situation.

Unknown_16: Damn dude, you don't gotta be an asshole to South Macfarlane. He's helping you.

Unknown_16: In fact, he really wants to publish your story in Vice Magazine and it'll get him like $10,000. That's enough money to smuggle you out to Tijuana.

Unknown_20: I'm really sorry this happened to you, man.

1:58:38
Unknown_20: Injustice is everywhere.

Unknown_20: And you're taking the brunt of it right now. Oh my god.

Unknown_20: But you're gonna be okay, Sean.

Unknown_16: Seth Rogen! Seth Rogen, thank you, Constantine.

Unknown_11: How?

Unknown_11: My life feels like... like that town down there.

Unknown_11: Wiped out. Destroyed.

Unknown_16: Wait, wait, is that the town from Life is Strange 1? Because that was in Washington too, right?

1:59:13
Unknown_20: What is sure is that's the past.

Unknown_16: Wait, wait, wait. So if that is, if that's Arcadia Bay, then the canonical choice for life is strange one is to choose love over the lives of everyone in the town and let them die. And that is fucking awesome. Remember morality is a spook. Read, read Max Stirner. You can't look back now.

Unknown_20: I was in Oregon, I'm sorry.

Unknown_16: Washington's right over Oregon, the state line.

1:59:47
Unknown_11: Why?

Unknown_20: You may not see it, but what you and your brother have is the most important thing.

Unknown_20: He needs you.

Unknown_20: And you need him.

Unknown_20: I can tell he doesn't know what happened.

Unknown_20: Sean, at some point, you're going to have to tell him.

Unknown_23: I know. I just have to find the right time.

2:00:18
Unknown_20: Take it from me. The sooner you can address it, the better. Yeah.

Unknown_20: He doesn't look like Jarbo.

Unknown_16: He looks like Dead Ringer Seth Rogen. Down to the voice. It's not going to be easy.

Unknown_20: So then, what's your plan?

Unknown_20: Where are you going?

Unknown_20: Quick question.

Unknown_11: I was thinking, get out of the country, fucking go down to Mexico, you know?

2:00:51
Unknown_20: Damn, I thought I was the long-haul traveler.

Unknown_16: Really, if this guy was a real person, he would say, I will publish your story. I'm an independent journalist. You guys are the victim of injustice. I will catalog your story, and we'll go on a road trip to Mexico. We'll publish this in Vice. It'll make some money. I'll get my name out there, and I'll get you guys down to Tijuana. But I can't imagine that's the actual story.

Unknown_25: Maybe this is crazy, but should we just keep going so we get to Mexico if you think that's the right thing to do Yes, this is exactly what you're supposed to be doing You have family there Maybe is he really saying go back to Mexico.

2:01:38
Unknown_17: That's fantastic Go see your abuela about your mom No, no way.

Unknown_23: She's a

Unknown_23: Out of the picture.

Unknown_23: You have to go back.

Unknown_20: That's a pretty cool name.

Unknown_20: So it's got to be great.

Unknown_20: Okay. So you've still got a long ways to go.

Unknown_20: We've shot the shit long enough.

Unknown_20: Time to hit the road.

Unknown_16: As much of a pushover as Seth Rogen is, I think he's my favorite so far. Because he's sensible. He's like, I know who you are, you gotta tell the kid that his father's dead at some point.

2:02:20
Unknown_16: It's like, if you are the victims of injustice, I guess, you know, do what you want. You ain't gotta do shit. You ain't gotta take it, follow the rules.

Unknown_16: Morality's a spook.

Unknown_16: Life is literally go back to Mexico 2.

Unknown_16: Is this ending at any point?

2:02:55
Unknown_16: I'm so irritated now that I'm looking at the moon again. I'm irritated that the wolf never happened.

Unknown_16: Like they set it up that like there would be like an accident or something you have to go to a hospital and somehow deal with that and not get arrested at the same time which would be like intense I guess.

Unknown_10: Okay, mushroom, you can chase me.

Unknown_06: Mushroom is such an awful fucker. Um, no.

Unknown_09: Come, see if you can catch me. Ow!

2:03:28
Unknown_16: If the dog's nippy, he's not trained properly. He got taken away too early.

Unknown_16: Okay, this has to be the final

Unknown_16: Oh, I- There's only been one part of this game where I actually have to, like, move.

Unknown_16: This actually looks nice, though. Like, this- this set is put together well. The lighting and stuff. The lamppost. Very cinematic. Very artistic.

Unknown_06: Very French. Test throw? It's a- It's a machine? Does it work?

2:03:59
Unknown_16: Does it know how to fetch?

Unknown_25: Come on mushroom, I can see it don't go through the tall grass and make it jump by a Pokemon I think we need a frisbee Is this dog gonna die if this dog died did you find I want to be so mad I

2:04:41
Unknown_06: I think it's a shark, too.

Unknown_09: I got an achievement.

Unknown_16: Trail Angel.

Unknown_16: Oh, is that like a thing? Like if you throw the stick with the dog, you get an achievement for it? Something has to happen.

Unknown_06: At some point.

Unknown_16: Is that shark tornado from Arcadia Bay going to hit this beach and I have to run away? That'd be too exciting.

2:05:22
Unknown_10: Come on Mushroom, get that stick.

Unknown_20: Looks like these two are getting along.

Unknown_20: It's good to see him like that.

Unknown_20: Oh, he's gonna read it?

Unknown_20: Why can't this... Why can't this wandering nomad traveler take him down to Mexico?

Unknown_16: Like this would be a breakout piece.

2:05:55
Unknown_20: Because this is like an ongoing story and probably national news that these two kids are missing.

Unknown_16: There's a police officer involved shooting of a minority.

Unknown_20: Okay. You can always get a burner later.

Unknown_20: Trust me.

Unknown_20: And Sean... Talk to Daniel.

Unknown_16: He deserves to- Brody! Why is the Coomer leaving?

Unknown_20: You're not leaving?

Unknown_10: Are you?

Unknown_20: Yes, I am. But... Not until Santa Brody gives you a goodbye gift. Ta-da! I-I mean... Ho ho ho! And don't you dare argue about it. I'll leave it right here if you do.

2:06:32
Unknown_16: I don't understand why this character is motivated to depart from these two. He's not explaining what he has to do. He seems interested in their plight.

Unknown_06: He has a motivation to stay with them because he's a writer.

Unknown_16: There's like 10 different publications that would pay him money for this story.

2:07:07
Unknown_20: An ascot?

Unknown_10: Oh. I wonder why they turned out gay. Oh yeah, this is just my lucky ascot.

Unknown_16: Go ahead, put him on a dog.

Unknown_16: Oh, he does look cute though.

Unknown_17: It's a cumwreck.

Unknown_20: It's his lucky cumwreck. I don't understand his motivation for not staying with him. I don't mind Seth Rogen.

2:07:49
Unknown_16: He's a lot more tolerable than any of the other people. Or Max or Chloe. That's sad that he's just abandoning them.

Unknown_20: What an asshole. He has no obligation. That's frustrating.

Unknown_16: It would just be too convenient for this white savior to trip him all the way down to Mexico. But realistically, what I'm saying is right. He would just publish this on Vice.

2:08:23
Unknown_16: How I helped two fugitives escape the United States of America after they were falsely accused.

Unknown_17: It's a great story.

Unknown_16: New item added to my inventory.

Unknown_16: Yeah, it's weird that they establish all those characters, and then they just completely abandon it.

2:09:03
Unknown_16: What does he have leaves on his backpack?

Unknown_14: He has a charger.

Unknown_16: He somehow obtained money. I guess he did. I guess Seth Rogen or whatever gave him money.

Unknown_16: Okay, number 10. Can we steal money? No, no option to like steal stuff. No moral choices I can make here about...

2:09:55
Unknown_19: It would be funny if you thought you could open the other doors or like knock on them and then people would open it and say racist stuff because everyone in this game except for Seth Rogen is an asshole apparently.

Unknown_16: That's a comfy looking hotel room.

Unknown_10: Whoa, this is nice and warm.

Unknown_10: This bed is soft.

Unknown_10: What about this one?

Unknown_10: Uh, not bad, but too far from the TV. Can I take the one in front of the TV? Huh?

2:10:46
Unknown_10: Wanna play it over rock, paper, scissors?

Unknown_06: Oh, there's no way you can beat me, bud.

Unknown_06: This is the decision making I've been waiting for.

Unknown_16: Rock, rock, always rock. I told you man.

Unknown_10: Best two out of threes. Fine. He's gonna go paper. He's gonna go paper.

Unknown_16: I'm going scissors.

Unknown_06: Tactical scissors deployment here.

2:11:23
Unknown_10: I knew I'd beat you and I knew you'd brag about it. Don't be salty It's a fair way.

Unknown_06: Yeah, it predicted my producer render. All right, I'm gonna run a bath We totally reek especially you I wouldn't be so sure cave boy. I'll call you when it's ready.

Unknown_16: I'll let him I'm a good guy. Okay.

Unknown_06: I'm a nice guy.

Unknown_16: Oh

Unknown_16: Thanks for everything, bro.

Unknown_16: I guess I'll read this.

2:11:58
Unknown_16: Sean, I'm a better writer than I am a speaker, that's why I'm writing this letter while you and Daniel are asleep in the car. I'm sorry that I can't take you further, but there's a good reason to it. As dysfunctional as it can be, family is family. When we met, I was on my way to Utah, where my mom is currently losing her battle against cancer, and I have to be there. Okay, I'm glad they had an explanation for it, because that's ridiculous.

Unknown_16: You'll find a few dollars in the backpack. They're all the cash I have left.

Unknown_16: But you need it more than me. Your goal is- if you can't tell I'm struggling to read cursive because I'm brainlit. Your goal is good and you need to follow your... Ims? Hock?

2:12:36
Unknown_16: Instinct!

Unknown_16: but please be careful and protect your brother no matter what you'll see when you'll you'll see when you tell him the truth about Seattle that sharing the pain will make you stronger together oh my fucking god that is literally Hillary Clinton's campaign slogan eventually when you get to Mexico keep a few a low profile until you meet people that can

2:13:20
Unknown_16: you can truly rely on. In any case, I think you'll be safer there than you are here. A dead cop in the current state of things cannot be a good way to start negotiations. I wish I could have met you, too, under better circumstances, but I'm glad I could help you the best way I could. Take care, Brody. P.S. Hit me up when you're safe. A tribe called West. I'm always, uh,

Unknown_16: Always around when not drawing. Been a while since I've used a pen. Hope you can decipher. It took me a second, but I got it, Seth. Phone's charging. Let's see what Chad's saying about me. Oh, they're okay. Are you okay? No, I was having a stroke while trying to read that paper because it was in a foreign alphabet.

2:13:55
Unknown_16: Read my journal?

Unknown_16: hi son i hope you'll work wonders with this new sketchbook i'm sure you will that is if you're not too lazy to get to it i remember your very first drawing was of was of r oh oh me now you can beat my skillful portrait of you okay right uh i'll leave it in

2:14:51
Unknown_16: Oh, those are good drawings.

Unknown_16: That reminds me of the gorillas. The style, with the hard facial features.

Unknown_16: Oh my god. No, it's funny. I like that. I like these drawings.

Unknown_16: How to customize Sean's bag, what the fuck?

2:15:26
Unknown_16: Oh I did get that.

Unknown_10: What's that?

Unknown_10: It was in Brody's car. He stole it to you thief. Well yeah.

Unknown_06: You stole it from him. I don't know.

Unknown_10: It looked cool and you stole before. So I thought no I haven't.

2:15:59
Unknown_16: Man.

Unknown_22: Yeah, yeah, okay.

Unknown_22: I see what you did.

Unknown_16: Well, it wasn't an option. You shouldn't steal useless trash that has no value to you. It may have sentimental value to people who helped you and who are friendly towards you. It's okay to steal from assholes trying to murder you. It's just needless theft. It's just garbage. And he might have had, like his dying mother might have given him that.

2:16:32
Unknown_16: Hot dog man?

Unknown_06: Oh boy! He's my favorite. The giant meatball attacks in the next episode, right?

Unknown_10: Yes! And I get to meet the city mayor!

Unknown_06: I love my hot dog man. It's been ages.

Unknown_10: Why don't you watch Hot Dog Man with me anymore?

Unknown_06: We're fugitives. I'm too old, dude. And I've seen it so many times.

Unknown_10: Okay, Grandpa Sean.

Unknown_10: Feels so good to sit down and watch TV.

2:17:05
Unknown_16: I love my hot dog man. There's my hot dog, man That's how he said it, okay, okay?

Unknown_06: You're missing the best part. I know but I got to take care of the bath Don't forget your outside now We're in a mustard country now boy.

Unknown_16: Oh

Unknown_16: I don't

2:17:45
Unknown_16: Do they really have to say something for like everything they do? You guys... Maybe I'm like a weirdo. Do you guys say stuff in your head like that when you do mundane things like turning on the faucet to run a bath? Get the bubbles in. Add the bubbles.

Unknown_17: Yeah.

Unknown_16: Daniel will love this.

Unknown_16: Yo, put it near the faucet so it bubbles up. What the fuck? Why does this idiot not... Why are you using long-sleeve hoodies when you're running a bath?

Unknown_16: This guy's, like, incompetent. Uh... Do I have to just wait?

2:18:25
Unknown_06: One bubble bath coming up. Brother of the month.

Unknown_06: Yeah, right.

Unknown_16: I just talk to him?

Unknown_16: Come.

Unknown_06: You ready?

Unknown_08: Aww, the episode's almost finished.

Unknown_06: Nice try. The water's hot. Come on.

Unknown_09: Yeah, okay, I'm going.

Unknown_16: Aww, manhandle the puppy. Is the puppy taking a bath too?

Unknown_09: Oh my god. Whoa. So many bubbles.

2:18:57
Unknown_06: Try and keep them in the bathtub.

Unknown_09: I will.

Unknown_10: Promise. Thanks.

Unknown_06: And no, the doggie's not taking a bath with you.

Unknown_10: Okay, okay. Don't worry.

Unknown_26: I should throw my phone away while Daniel is washing.

Unknown_26: He'd freak out if he saw me.

Unknown_16: Pick up the battery first.

2:19:38
Unknown_23: It's nice out here.

Unknown_16: Wish I cared.

Unknown_16: I just want to drown that dog. Don't say that!

Unknown_16: Anti-dog talk is not allowed.

Unknown_23: How can we get there without money?

Unknown_11: And Daniel still doesn't know what really happened.

2:20:09
Unknown_11: How the fuck am I gonna tell him?

Unknown_14: bruh me and daniel just have to take it one step wait wait why why don't they take the sim card out of the phone and then sell it if it's a new phone they can get like a hundred bucks for it why am i so much smarter than the writers of this video game you just take the battery out in the sim card and you sell the phone

2:20:48
Unknown_16: Come on, let's get it done. Throw that phone.

Unknown_16: David Cage? Are we still saying that these games are made by David Cage?

Unknown_16: Uh, I wanted to throw my phone. Why the fuck? What was the point of that?

2:21:22
Unknown_16: This cigarette with Lila seems so far away. Throw your phone off the balcony. Fucking moron.

Unknown_16: Get rid of your phone. Throw it off the balcony.

Unknown_16: Oh, I have to grab the phone off the thing first.

Unknown_16: Okay, phone in hand. I'm pressing the G key to throw this like a grenade.

Unknown_16: My attention is killing me. Throw this phone.

2:21:57
Unknown_16: Is it going to send a text? Don't send a text message! Dear NSA, goodbye.

Unknown_26: Too bad.

Unknown_16: Yes, you should. You should not send any text messages. No, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

Unknown_16: No, there is no... Just throw your phone. All you gotta do, check that phone.

Unknown_16: Check it. Throw it off the balcony, into the sand.

2:22:29
Unknown_16: Just gotta raise your hand and rear it back. And throw it forward. And then release it from your hand as you're throwing it forward. Then watch it fly. Throw it!

Unknown_16: There we go.

Unknown_16: Chuck it! Chuck that phone! Chuck that phone!

Unknown_16: This is not emotional at all. They're trying to make this like, oh, I'm throwing away my past life because all my family memories are on it. Hey, check that phone. There we go.

2:23:04
Unknown_16: Old life gone. Could have sold that phone for a little bit of money to help us get to Mexico, but you know, working with the brain cells we got here.

Unknown_16: Okay, don't think about it.

Unknown_16: Just tell Daniel the truth. Your dad is dead. Are you kidding me? Remember that song? Come on, dance!

2:23:35
Unknown_16: Daniel, your dad is dead. Oh, just tell him. Say we have to have a big boy moment.

Unknown_16: Sit next to him.

Unknown_10: Invite him to sit next to you. Oh no! The game minimized.

Unknown_10: I thought I crashed.

Unknown_06: I almost killed myself.

2:24:07
Unknown_06: Really? I thought this was gonna be like, each was gonna be like two hours long like it was before.

Unknown_16: This is ridiculous.

Unknown_16: David Cage, you're trying my patience.

Unknown_16: I can't wait to see what racist thing happens when they hear him buying a soda pop.

2:24:46
Unknown_13: What the fuck is happening?

Unknown_05: Dad! Daniel. Oh, fuck.

Unknown_06: Oh my god. Luke.

Unknown_11: Daniel! What's happening? Daniel, calm down. You lied! Dad!

Unknown_16: Oh, he saw it on the TV.

Unknown_10: Our dad is dead!

Unknown_10: Why?

2:25:21
Unknown_11: Calm down, Daniel. Let's just talk, please. You knew Dad was dead!

Unknown_11: You knew it!

Unknown_16: Why? So my choice to tell him directly didn't even matter. I was scared, Daniel.

Unknown_03: I didn't know what to say. You could have told me. I couldn't believe it either.

Unknown_04: I didn't mean to! I hate you!

Unknown_16: Murder him, Daniel. Not my brother! Redeem yourself through blood.

2:25:54
Unknown_11: Don't say that.

Unknown_11: I know I messed up everything.

Unknown_11: We're gonna get through this.

Unknown_16: Sean stole your personal happiness from you, Daniel. Don't touch me! There's only one way to right the ship. Daniel, please!

Unknown_19: Oh, shit.

Unknown_01: It's okay.

Unknown_17: You scared the puppy, you asshole.

2:26:25
Unknown_04: Me too.

Unknown_16: Can you imagine if autistics had powers like that in real life? Can you imagine Christian if he had like telekinetic powers and could blast cops? He thought he was psychic at some point.

Unknown_11: He kept trying to use curses on people.

Unknown_11: I'm sorry. I just... Just don't lie to me ever again.

Unknown_16: Wasn't my choice. I would have told you. I promise.

2:26:57
Unknown_11: I won't lie to you again. I promise.

Unknown_10: I'm serious, Sean.

Unknown_11: I know. Me too, Danny.

Unknown_10: What are we going to do without him?

Unknown_23: It's going to be okay. Who's she?

Unknown_18: It's going to be okay.

2:27:37
Unknown_16: Is that it? Oh my god, you're killing me.

Unknown_16: Have I truly become a monster?

Unknown_06: Are they still walking? I'm not on a bus, thank god.

Unknown_16: Maybe cut your hair.

Unknown_10: I was thinking...

Unknown_26: Maybe we could go to Puerto Lobos.

2:28:11
Unknown_26: Where dad grew up, you know?

Unknown_10: Yeah, I guess.

Unknown_06: It'll be fine, Daniel.

Unknown_06: There's nothing we can't do.

Unknown_16: Does Daniel even speak Spanish? I've never heard him speak any Spanish. Can you tell me a story like he did?

Unknown_06: I'm not as good as him.

Unknown_23: He used to tell me bedtime stories, too.

2:28:50
Unknown_23: Once upon a time, in a wild, wild world, there were two wolf brothers living in their own lair with their papa wolf.

Unknown_16: and one wolf was autistic and killed the local bear which summoned the wrath of the park rangers hunters took their dad away okay police are hunters there's men with guns just looking to kill wolves and they had to find a new home

2:29:45
Unknown_16: One day there were two wolves, but then the orange man came and he cast them from their laps.

Unknown_16: He built a wall so high even the wolves couldn't jump over it.

Unknown_16: They couldn't think of an intelligent way to write a story to make it interesting for people, so they just started it off and had that be horrible, and then just play music while he talks to them on the bus. With a game like this, you have a game like this, right? And there's not a lot of gameplay, and it's just story-driven. Invest some time into the story to make it interesting.

2:30:33
Unknown_16: Because I don't know who this appeals to. I'm not just some cynical asshole. I could enjoy something like this. Like, I enjoyed Captain Autismo. That was a cute story. I remember it. It was an hour long, and I remember what happened in it, and what the kids' problems were, because it was interesting. It was more interesting than this.

Unknown_16: If you're going to make a game that's like this, that's super low budget, that has super low-end graphics, that doesn't have any complex gameplay whatsoever. Why can't you spend time making things nice and interesting? I don't get it.

2:31:07
Unknown_16: Captain Autismo is the awesome adventures of Captain Awesome, or whatever it was.

Unknown_16: It was an hour long, so it didn't overstay its welcome.

Unknown_16: Raoul Barbet and Michael Coke.

2:31:44
Unknown_16: Jean-Luc Asano.

Unknown_16: I mean, I was going to say it's disappointing, but it's not. It's actually about as bad as I would hope it would be for the purposes of playing through it and making fun of it.

Unknown_16: Yeah, I don't get it. Why not spend more time developing the story instead of just writing a series of political talking points and stringing them together somehow?

Unknown_16: What do French people know about life in America and the plights of the minorities living in Washington?

2:32:23
Unknown_16: This is like what they read in the news and then they made their own fan- It would be like if an American tried to write a story about Koreans living in Japan or something. It would just be talking points based on what they understand through their lens and what they read in the media about how Koreans are oppressed in Japan. And it would be something really cringy and horrifying to any Japanese person who knows what it's actually like there.

Unknown_16: Whatever.

Unknown_16: Whatever.

Unknown_16: I'll play the rest of it. I enjoyed making fun of this, so I'm inspired to continue playing.

Unknown_16: Oh, okay, my stats. I gave the Choco Crisp to Esteban, uh, 35%. 43% kept it for themselves, what assholes. I told the truth to Esteban, most people did. You hugged Esteban, almost everyone did.

2:33:05
Unknown_16: You didn't take money from the jar, 70% of people did. You confronted Brett, 75% of people did. You decided to steal in the parking lot.

Unknown_16: Yes. I don't know, why would you not take that candy bar?

Unknown_16: You didn't beg for food. I didn't talk to them. I think most people just avoided them, which is why that was the majority. You didn't steal anything from the gas station. I tried to. You hit Hank and stole the camping gear. 63%. He's an asshole.

2:33:39
Unknown_16: And you didn't call Lila back. I didn't call Lila back because it's not because I wasn't interested in talking to her, I guess. It was because that's retarded. You don't make a phone call when you're a fugitive. They track that phone.

Unknown_16: Uh, you promised Daniel you wouldn't lie to him again, 91%. See, I think that most of the choices, um, Daniel didn't learn about trailblazing. Oh, cause nobody had any interest in looking at that random shit on the trees.

2:34:13
Unknown_15: Uh...

Unknown_15: Yeah, a lot of this is just people not interacting with the game as much as possible.

Unknown_16: And then the choices that you could make, most people side with me because that's like the logical choice.

Unknown_18: I don't know how I could have avoided that.

Unknown_15: Oh, I was in the minority only in letting them play the claw grab machine. Okay.

2:34:50
Unknown_15: Well my friends, oh fuck I don't want no exit abort Thank you for joining me on this I will probably play the next one when I get a chance and probably a little bit earlier, but I'll let you guys know It may not be tomorrow because I've got something planned for tomorrow, but I'll finish this hopefully before the new year And I guess I'll see you next time so thank you for joining me and take it easy