Tommy Tooter Pt 1 - Mad at the Internet 2019-01-15

0:00:00
Unknown_02: where did you come from where did you go where did you come

0:01:05
Unknown_00: Well, hello. I hope everybody's having a great afternoon or evening or morning or wherever the fuck you're at. I don't care. I'm just happy you're here. Today we have something that I will be inadequate in explaining. Tommy Tudor, Thomas J. Wurzerberg, whatever the fuck he goes by now, has a history twice as long as Christian Weston Chandler and probably as deep. Tommy is fucking ancient. Tommy is fucking insane. And unlike Chris...

0:01:36
Unknown_00: Tommy will go out of his way to cause problems for himself. Chris meanders about problems find him. Tommy is a genuine fucking menace.

Unknown_00: and i i don't even know where to begin uh so we're gonna go chronologically i'm gonna need help i'm gonna be calling in for backup i cannot uh actually encompass all this i was sat down for two hours i had people feeding the information i have my my my handy dandy notebook is just filled with notes i have videos i have clips there's no way i can't do it by myself um

0:02:22
Unknown_00: No joke, if you do want to read up on them, you're going to have to read the forum because I can't do it by myself. I don't think all three of us, with enough time, will be able to cover everything that's happened to Tommy. They casually mention shit that happened 30 years ago that I've never heard of that to any other locale would be one of their main threads of drama. But with Tommy, it's just yet another fucking thing he's done. So...

Unknown_01: Oh, is there some issue with the stream?

Unknown_00: Hopefully not. I'm playing the replay and shit.

0:02:58
Unknown_00: Just so you guys know, I do want to move over to Streamy as the main platform because Streamy has already enabled monetization and stuff. They're really working to get their people over.

Unknown_00: it's just it's just better for everything that I'm doing so if you are watching on YouTube if you want to check out stream me and see if it works there I'd really appreciate it so where do I want to begin before I begin just reading his history because his history is fucking insane like the first 30 years of his life not even half of his life is something that could be like a novel the rest of its pretty much just as bad

0:03:43
Unknown_00: Let me make sure that I'm not downloading anything, because I do see that I have a couple hiccups on the monitor.

Unknown_00: But I reached out to Tommy. I reached out to him, and I told him, Tommy, I'm going to be talking to you. I wouldn't mind having a conversation with you, with all these people watching. Several hundred people will probably be watching.

Unknown_00: He had no interest in that.

Unknown_00: No interest whatsoever in having that conversation. So...

Unknown_00: if he does want to come on later, go right ahead, Tommy. I'll be here for you. You know who to get into contact with. Get into contact with my man Sneeze. He's ready to help.

0:04:20
Unknown_00: Because you're definitely going to be mad with some of the shit that I'm saying. I know you're going to watch.

Unknown_00: So he claims, way back when, when he was just a boy, I think he was born in the 60s, he claims that he was born with the assistance of a drug called DSE. I think it's either a drug or an operation, but it was commonly given at the time he was born for mothers who had concurrent or reoccurring pregnancy issues resulting in a natural abortion. And he claims that that DSC affected his gender because he's a tranny. Technically, he's a tranny.

0:04:58
Unknown_00: DES, I'm sorry. Technically, he's a tranny, but as you can see from the clips, let me just pull up those clips again in case you missed them.

Unknown_00: Let me turn off rednecks, unfortunately.

Unknown_00: Not really a passing tranny. This isn't what most people would call a woman, but he does, and he takes that very seriously.

Unknown_00: uh his his actual gender identity at this time is i wrote it down somewhere it's a mouthful he's he's a transsexual intersex two-spirited person i don't know what the fuck that means but that's what he claims to be and you can like when people address him as a him he gets actually pissed off even if it's police like you'll scream at them if they get it wrong

0:05:56
Unknown_00: His mother was apparently somewhat abusive.

Unknown_00: He repeatedly brings up the fact that he shits himself, like Christiane does. But unlike Christiane, his mom had the good foresight to rub his face in it, apparently, to try and train him like a dog not to shit himself. I don't know if that had any effect in his potty training, but it's what he claims. I think I actually have a clip of that.

Unknown_00: Yelling at mom, this sounds right. You were a total failure as my mother, refusing to listen to any of my issues. I have very bad hormonal problems because of my intersex condition and have always had poor bladder and sphincter control because of it. But you mashed my sewed underwear in my face to toilet train me instead of listening to me. Forget about it if I tried to tell either one of you that I was a girl. Oh no, girls don't have penises and boys only cry when they bleed and you need to cry. I'll be glad to beat the crap out of you. You refused to listen to me last night, which is why I terminated the call. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I pity your immortal soul if you can't learn to love me in a way that feels like love to me.

0:06:34
Unknown_00: I like that. You can't love me in a way that feels like love to me. That's the important bit. Please read the email I sent last night and see what my spirit family thinks of me. Seriously, if you want me to pretend the past never happened and tolerate your pompous ass of a husband's mishy goss politely, I need what I lost when you sold the house out from under me and then refused to relocate me to go on pretending that I have a father who is even worthy of the love I have to give. So, see, this is what I mean. Like, you read one line, and you think, like, what the fuck? They sold the house, I guess, and cut it out from under him.

0:07:13
Unknown_00: And I notice my connection is dropping. I don't know if that's because of me or because of Putin, but there is an issue. I'm sorry. But yeah, he sold the house out from under him and yelling.

Unknown_00: I know what that is.

0:08:02
Unknown_00: So this is Tommy's self-introduction. This is something he posted on the forum. There will be forum posts, but they're not going to be from the Kiwi Farms, and I'll explain why in a bit. So this is Tommy's self-introduction. I'm Tommy Tudor, the whistleblower from Chicago. And again, like every single thing he says will...

Unknown_00: will be kind of explained later because he's just crazy. And his entire life, it's like 70 years, it's like a fossil record of fucking insanity.

0:08:36
Unknown_00: Now living in Tuscon, I'm classically trained from infancy through college and have been playing on the streets in drum circles and jam bands since graduating in 1978.

Unknown_00: I was, uh, the last person pranked at the last acid test party throwing in Topanga Corral. See, like, even this shit, like I went over this for two hours and I don't even know what the fuck this means.

Unknown_00: I walked out of my only professional recording gig at Pegasus Studio in Santa Moscow the next year because there was no way I'm backing up a screeching speed metal freak accompanied by a pre-programmed sound generator with some skinny wanker fiddling the controls.

0:09:20
Unknown_00: i founded the real things artists and co-op and this is important his real things artisan co-op he constantly screams that we're harming his business and are committing tortuous and tortuous interference by making fun of him in 1985 with a couple of computer geeks a promoter agent and a handful of street players in venice beach and had been a minor player on the fringe of the deadhead rainbow woodstock indie music and arts community ever since

Unknown_00: Tommy's instruments that he's trained in are apparently the saxophone and the recorder. And if you don't know what a recorder is, let me just go ahead and pull this up.

Unknown_00: This is, again, he's like 70, so he's had all his life to figure out

Unknown_00: his preferred instrument of choice, and they get good at it. And this is the instrument that he has chosen. I think this is it.

0:10:17
Unknown_00: This is like a toy. This is like what you give children to teach them how to play woodwind instruments.

Unknown_00: And this is something that Tommy...

Unknown_00: constantly claims is a very serious and very real art form that you need to respect.

Unknown_00: And if you don't respect it, he's going to sue you for cyberbullying, I guess.

0:10:52
Unknown_00: Oh God, it won't stop.

Unknown_00: There it is. Okay, I killed it. I don't think you could hear it, but it kept going on. I was being assaulted by that recorder.

Unknown_00: Okay, we manufacture our own merchandise and produce our own shows. Nobody I know is getting rich, but I know a lot of people all over the country who are kicking out a lot of fine music and artworks to really cool crowds of people in wonderful urban and rural areas. Let me just take a second. Oh, the Streamy chat died. I'll fix that real quick.

0:11:23
Unknown_00: Let me show you what...

Unknown_00: His art looks like. His stones, as he says. And these are important. These fucking stones. I'm so sick and tired of hearing about his fucking rocks.

Unknown_00: You'd think he was actually doing something with the way he talks about these goddamn rocks.

Unknown_00: I should have put this up because I knew I was going to drag this. This is what he calls his beautiful stone. This is what he expects exorbitant amounts of money for. Just put that underneath the chat so everybody can admire it.

0:11:56
Unknown_00: Real Things is a member of the New World Rising International Green Community Network. I'll be playing with one heartbeat to open Tuckson Peace and Music Fair tomorrow.

Unknown_00: I've never even heard of such a thing as a pay-to-play before. The musics and vendors will get together with the venue owner. And he talks about how much money he fucking gets. He constantly says, my time is money. He refused to come on this show because he was demanding $500. I offered him $50. He refused.

Unknown_00: At one point, I paid him $5 in Bitcoin to play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder. He did play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder and immediately had a massive coughing fit because he had inhaled bong smoke incorrectly. And playing Hot Cross Buns on the recorder started to kill him slowly.

0:12:33
Unknown_00: Oh yeah, jerk-off crystals? He probably does have some jerk-off crystals. Motherfucker likes to jerk off a lot.

Unknown_00: So... This is Tommy now. This is him talking about how he is now. We've all seen how he looks now.

Unknown_00: But... Way back when, he actually looked like this. This was him from his college yearbook. And surprisingly, he did graduate from college. He went to Tampa, Florida and got a UB. Wait, not a UB.

0:13:12
Unknown_01: I wrote it down somewhere.

Unknown_01: He had a four-year degree in marine biology and eventually went to go test water supplies, but he got fired from everything he fucking did.

Unknown_00: He tested water in Chicago, and they fired him because he wouldn't wake up early enough. He went to sell shit in retail and quit. He said that selling shit in retail gave him an existential crisis or an ethical dilemma, which I can relate to.

0:13:45
Unknown_00: And he says that he's a published researcher, but we have the actual credit for his research right here.

Unknown_00: He was an assistant. He was a technical assistant in the research paper he claims to be named in, which means that he wasn't actually partaking in the research. He was just an assistant.

Unknown_00: And then he went to Venice Beach. I already mentioned Venice Beach in that post.

Unknown_00: Pretty significant area in his life, just because

Unknown_00: Yeah, people are making fun of me for not being able to pronounce that city's name. I can't pronounce anything if you can't notice. I've tried erver and erver again to pronounce things correctly, but it's just not happening.

0:14:28
Unknown_00: Okay, so he went to Venice Beach and became a hippie.

Unknown_00: Things are going to get dark, and then they're going to get light. The things I'm about to tell you are all awful. If you're in a good mood right now, you will not be in a good mood in about 15 minutes. You probably won't be in a good mood in about 5 minutes.

Unknown_00: But by the end of this, I promise you, we'll bring in some people who have funny stories. Funny stories that I can barely touch on because so much has happened in the troll sphere around Tommy Tudor.

0:15:03
Unknown_00: Okay, let's engage the chat a little bit. I'm going to go over to the Streamy chat, because Streamy has polls, and I'm quite fond of the polls. And I'm going to do a poll, so get ready.

Unknown_00: Hopping over there. And I want you guys to tell me which sad story you want to hear first. Which?

Unknown_00: And just by the options I'm going to give you, you know it's going to be bad. Okay, do you want Sabrina the 15-year-old girl or Lady the dog?

0:15:44
Unknown_00: Tell me. Tell me now. I'm watching the polls. Oh, God, Sabrina's just fucking smashing it. Well, I guess there's no contest then.

Unknown_01: Immediately Sabrina gets about 25 votes.

Unknown_00: Alright, let's start with that then.

Unknown_00: I don't think the dog is going to be able to win at this point. And everybody's like, oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

Unknown_00: Yeah, some people already know Tommy is not a nice guy. And after he quit or after he moved out of his parents' house, he went to Venice Beach and he basically became a homeless person.

0:16:17
Unknown_00: And he lived with a single mother. And because I guess they were all hippies and stuff, and I guess hippies had a very liberal idea of sexual enlightenment. And they lived with a 15-year-old girl named Sabrina who had left her abusive house at about 9 years old. and had been sexually active since about 13, and she was living with Tommy Tudor's then-girlfriend, the single mother, at this loft on the beach.

Unknown_00: And the girlfriend and Sabrina had been, I wouldn't say having sex, but they were sexually entangled in some way. Tommy Tudor, despite living in a share home with a bunch of creepy weirdo pedophiles, or hebophiles if you prefer, if you happen to be an incel community member, Tommy Tudor apparently got a little bit too rapey with Sabrina. And he got kicked out of the house by his girlfriend and Sabrina. And they threatened to call the police if he didn't leave. To this day, he claims that he only sucked on her nipples or something, but the story varies a lot. I think I actually have it. Yes, I do. I have titled this scene Hard Times.

0:17:02
Unknown_00: Hard Times they are. This is Tommy Tudor's story. I can't wait for what I'm about to read to be clipped out of context.

0:17:48
Unknown_00: uh when i was a kid i'd have dreams of some of being somebody's wife just like all the beautiful women in my family and enslave some stupid hard-working putz jesus christ maybe he is a woman from a well-off family with my with my pussy and be left with a fortune when i'm only in my 60s and the schmuck works himself to death All I had to do was let him knock me up a couple times or three times and carry a kid or three around in my belly for nine months. It sounds like he ate the children.

Unknown_00: And go through a few hours of incredible pain at the end. It isn't even always that painful, especially if the first one goes well. The next ones are usually easier.

Unknown_00: After the kids were born, I had a maid to do all that other shit housewives complain about, and I could indulge my friends with Long Majong Bridge in canasta games in the afternoon instead. Like my mom, her sister, and my dad's sister-in-law all did.

0:18:47
Unknown_00: Spirit—again, talking about his spirit, twin spirit shit— Spirit told me that when I was young to endure it and I'd be healed when they came to sort this shit out. That's why I never actually made any effort to transition and toughed it out instead. Because I would rather be getting hosed than to be doing the hosing. And there is no way my ass is going to be the receptacle. I never went out hound-dogging and was a heterosexual serial monogamist and said...

0:19:24
Unknown_00: It was real easy for me to visualize myself being the fucky and my partner as the fucker when we were going at it. I can't believe I'm reading this. I feel so gross.

Unknown_00: I'm only halfway through and this part's, this part's colored red. Uh...

Unknown_00: Let's see. I had some weird, I had some wonderful relationships with women going all the way back to the eighth grade, but none of them hated me enough to marry me. At the time I jerked off Janae, I was living with a welfare mama and her four-year-old mulatto kid in one room apartment with this kid sleeping in the closet. What the fuck?

0:20:01
Unknown_00: The thing had a loft, and there was a 15-year-old runaway who was absolutely freaking gorgeous and who slept up there sometimes. I was 28 at the time. One afternoon, I came home to find Megan and Sabrina together in the bed in the living room waiting for me. I knew better because they were pretty messed up and wet when I got into it. The whole scene unraveled because I only had a few fingers in Megan's snapper

0:20:32
Unknown_00: not even the whole hand past the wrist, and was all over Sabrina, who I'd been lusting after for at least 15 months without ever getting more than long hugs and chest kisses, which you all know what will do to a young male at the peak of testicular performance.

Unknown_00: Megan, thanks to Tyrone, Akina's... Is this a joke? Am I being joked?

Unknown_00: No, I'm sorry. I'm being told that Stream Me is the one that's cutting out, and it's not YouTube. I apologize.

Unknown_01: I don't know what's up with Stream Me.

Unknown_00: Play the Sabrina video if you can. I don't know what the Sabrina video is. Oh, that's right. He talks about it. We'll play that next. Okay. Let's see. One afternoon, peak performance. Tyrone, Ekina's father, hated sucking dick. What? Oh, the woman. I was like, hopefully Tyrone's not sucking any dick. Don't be a gay nigga, Tyrone.

0:21:22
Unknown_00: And had a fuck me and get over it attitude. She was a little mousy, showing some wear in the face with a flabby Was a little flabby and had stretch marks after four years. Thankfully, Tyrone lived in another city. Oh, geez. He was cockin' Tyrone. What a twist. There was nothing worse than a welfare mama with a jealous ex-old man you could run into. Sabrina was a blonde, blue-eyed cherub with perfect-sized, smooth, firm globes on both her breast and bottom with the most incredible, sparkling eyes, heart-stopping smile, exuberant laugh, and the voice of an angel. It was difficult for many people not to get hard-ons when she was around. Megan threw a tantrum less than an hour into it and she wasn't getting enough attention. I hadn't even fucked either of them yet and had only made them cum a few times. I think what she was pissed about was that I was only cranking her cunt with my fingers and making Sabrina sing with my tongue and I wasn't getting into Megan's mouth to kiss her often enough. Yeah, I'm sure that's the fucking issue.

0:21:56
Unknown_00: Oh, God. That's awful. Okay, there's a video I'm supposed to play.

0:22:41
Unknown_00: Let's see. I have a way of doing this. Give me a second. I have to fuck around. I was worried that Cotton Eye Joe was going to start playing again. But that's not really a problem. That's a blessing. I should just play that whenever things get too bad so that we can have some Cotton Eye Joe to lighten the mood.

Unknown_00: Alright, where's that video?

Unknown_01: Is this it? No, that's the Shoutpocalypse.

Unknown_01: Bob Chandler, The Chimp Out Chronicles.

0:23:16
Unknown_01: Oh. Oh, here we go. Sorry, this is the wrong one. Let's go back to this one. Firefox Audio.

Unknown_01: And let's load it up.

Unknown_00: All right, this is edited a little bit. I've not seen this. So we're watching this together as friends on the internet.

Unknown_01: Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it.

0:23:51
Unknown_02: I landed on Venice Beach in about... It gets foggy because I was actually not... I was trying to find work and had work for a while, and then all of a sudden I just couldn't get in anywhere.

Unknown_00: Cut it out for you guys. 82 to 84, I was on Venice Beach.

Unknown_02: It was the winter of 1982.

Unknown_00: Every time I hear the name Venice Beach, I get scared because I know something's up. I was making payments on a 1980 Pontiac Phoenix.

Unknown_02: Now, at this time, I had been just busking and living out of my car. I was sleeping in the car, mostly, and busking. When I hear busking, I think of him playing the recorder and dying. I was at the Dudley Pagoda.

0:24:38
Unknown_02: Pulling my horn and this little mulatto child, about four years old, come be bopping and her mama's watching her and they're there for quite some time and it's almost sunset and time to quit.

Unknown_02: She invited me home.

Unknown_02: Home was a little walk down Intuit apartment on Navy Street, the corner of Navy and Pacific.

0:25:13
Unknown_02: There's one room with a closet and a loft and a kitchen.

Unknown_02: And we're sitting there and it's time to put the kid to bed and she comes up and says, are you going to sleep with my mother tonight? I said, well, we haven't really gone there yet.

Unknown_02: But I did and we did and she just had me stay with her and

Unknown_02: running around West L.A., Hollywood, with a young man kind of taking L-wood kind of chasing me. He was a guitar and keyboard player, and I was playing the horn and singing and dancing.

0:25:56
Unknown_02: And we were backing people up. And that's how I met Sabrina, was that she was a punk rocker's girlfriend.

Unknown_02: This was a girl who'd run away from abusive UCLA professor parents.

Unknown_02: They lived in Westwood, and she'd bug out on them. From the time she was nine years old, I met her when she was about 14. She'd been sexually active since she was about 13. She was living with this punk rocker that me and my partner were backing up.

0:26:33
Unknown_02: And we knew she was under 18. And she's a gorgeous and very talented girl. and very bright and very wise, very mature for her age mentally as well as physically. And she didn't like, you know, there was no abuse there. What happened was very common in the music industry, especially on the fringe, and very often with girls much younger and much less willing.

Unknown_02: And she'd been living with Raymond for a while and then they broke up.

0:27:07
Unknown_00: And just to pause it real quick, I'm watching chat. If it's still stuttering after a while, I will pause the stream just a moment to adjust the quality to downplay it because I don't know what's been up with my internet connection for the last few days.

Unknown_02: And came to stay with me and my partner at the moment, who was a 26-year-old welfare mama with a mulatto baby girl, 4-year-old, sleeping in the closet. And Sabrina was sleeping up in the loft above the kitchen.

Unknown_02: And one evening I come in after busking, and there were Sabrina and Megan going at it. To the mother of one was with this fucking chick, too.

0:27:47
Unknown_00: It was over in minutes because I was paying too much attention to Sabrina.

Unknown_02: And what happened was Megan decided that she'd rather not have me there because, you know, I was in between her and what she wanted sexually. You know, she was used to just getting boned by a black guy. Wake up, bitch. That's a different story.

Unknown_02: You know, since I'm much more like into, we call it mounds and foreplay, lots of foreplay. Hours and hours of foreplay. And then when you're going, don't quit. Not just like chimpanzees at 15 seconds. And nothing, you know, nothing I wrote about details of this was very true. Because, you know, my mouth did not get south of her breasts.

0:28:26
Unknown_00: He changes that story, by the way. My hand did not get into her vagina.

Unknown_02: That's as far as it went.

Unknown_02: And there was this gay dude who was staying up in the loft, too.

0:28:59
Unknown_02: Anyway, she decides she wanted me out of there, and the dude tried to lay hands on me, and I almost killed him. Simple as that. The dude tried to forcefully evict me, and I was like, that ain't happening, pal. I almost put my fingers through his eyeballs.

Unknown_02: And they called the cops, and I went to jail, and that was it. End of story.

Unknown_02: For years, you know, this is a piece of my life.

Unknown_02: And for years, nobody made any big deal out of it until these, like, alt-right weirdos got hold of it.

0:29:40
Unknown_00: All right, that's the end of that video. Basically, yeah, he doesn't attest that there's anything wrong with it. And do give me a moment. I'm just going to drop the output for the video real quick.